oh

a body count not as in homicide nor as in sexuality but as in the trail of people from my childhood and adolescence i should’ve been a better friend to and taken better care of but i was too busy being caught up in my own heartache to recognize their own and therefore our relationship tapered off in an extremely unsatisfying way that continuously manifests itself as a thrumming sense of grief in my chest. anyway which restaurant chains have the best free pre-meal bread?

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

This is my new favourite post in the world

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

rule #1 of tumblr polls is NEVER include a joke option if you don't want it to win by a landslide because tumblr users have one committed relationship in their lives and it's to the bit

rare kevin w

ah fuck im imagining it

why are the windows 7 minimise maximise and close buttons fucking on my dash

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

this is fucking sick hell yeah i love this

It rlly doesn't come across how huge this flag is until you notice there are people in this photo

OH MY GOD

if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today

) <- super parenthesis. reblog to close all parentheticals you opened and forgot to close in your life and return to equilibrium

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

all hail the 1 million note Piss Post

How do you go through all the effort of setting up a sous vide to do this????

never tell me that magic isnt real ever again when this is clear evidence of a person transmogrifing Meat into Wood

i can transmogrify meat into wood by lookin at pictures of titties if ya get what im sayin

hey, we all love tiddies here but this person has perpetrated a crime against nature and we need you stay focused