wait.

is it even ethical to flavor blast a goldfish

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

i understand that it's unreasonable to expect a band on world tour to play in every country in the world but i do think they should only be allowed to call it a world tour if they play in every continent. we need to make it embarrassing to say world tour and then not even step foot in africa

my 12 year brother is talking to his friend on the phone and trying to arrange plans to go over to his house this afternoon and was saying that our dad could drop him off maybe and i just heard him say "well i could maybe come over earlier but my dad is busy sharpening his scythe"

muffled voice coming from the phone speakers: how long till the scythe is sharp

does anyone know how to stop feeling like a weird kid looking on from the outside at everyone

I think if zoidberg moved into bikini bottom he wouldnt look out of place at all i wouldnt even notice him there

I like how polite he is because he isnt intruding but curious somewhat

Anon bb come back i can change for you

Confused by the numbering choices here

that's the order numbers go in.

you only love me for my brainwashing spores that make everyone love me. hmph

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring