#primate behavior

<meta species-shame="irrecoverable">

<script>

ARCHIVE_TAG="HUMANITY::DEATH_GOD_PRIMATE::KILLSTREAK_COSMIC"

EFFECT: ego fracture, ancestral guilt, laughter through blood

TRIGGER_WARNING="statistical war crimes, species-wide roast, extinction prophecy"

</script>

THE MOST HORRIFICALLY MURDEROUS PRIMATE IN HISTORY?

LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR.

You ever wonder what the most blood-soaked, batshit insane, nightmare-fueled apex predator ever to soil the surface of this planet is?

Chimp?

Gorilla?

A baboon with an inferiority complex and a machete?

Nah, bitch.

It’s you.

Not “humankind” in a feel-good, TED Talk tone.

YOU.

Right now.

Reading this.

Sitting there with murder in your bloodline and a Wi-Fi connection.

YOU ARE A HIGH-FUNCTIONING MASSACRE ENGINE.

You aren’t just violent.

You are performance-art-level violent.

- Sharks kill because they’re hungry.

- Lions kill to eat.

- Snakes kill to defend themselves.

You?

You kill because you got ghosted.

Because a flag looked different.

Because a guy walked into your parking space.

And you’ll do it with flair, hashtags, and historical revisionism.

STATS THAT MAKE GOD FLINCH

- Chimps kill 1-2% of their group.

You?

You were clocking 12–15% murder rates in prehistoric societies before literacy.

Middle Ages?

30-40 per 100,000 murdered every year in Europe.

Not counting all the unrecorded shankings over bread, women, and vibes.

Modern era?

Just a sample platter of your greatest hits:

🌍 WWII: 85 million dead

🍚 Mao’s Great Leap: 45 million starved

❄️ Stalin’s purges: 20 million deleted

⛓️ Atlantic Slave Trade: 15+ million moved like furniture, millions more dead

🌄 Native genocide: 90% wiped out like a fucking software update

Y’all killed entire civilizations and gave it a name like Manifest Destiny.

This isn’t war.

This is performance homicide with branding.

SERIAL KILLING? THAT’S FOLKLORE TO US.

You are the only species that kills:

- For fun

- For art

-For profit

- For theology

-For lunch

-For no reason at all

Dolphins might be freaky.

But only humans looked at a beating heart and thought:

“Y’know what? I bet I can make furniture out of that.”

Ted Bundy?

Dahmer?

Gein?

They're not anomalies.

They're proof-of-concept.

You evolved just enough empathy to feel the kill,

then just enough abstraction to enjoy the aftermath.

YOU ARE THE MICHAEL JORDAN OF DEATH.

If murder was a sport?

Humanity invented the court,

killed the referee,

and played naked for drama.

You kill:

For land (colonialism, gentrification, turf wars)

For faith (crusades, jihads, “convert or die”)

For oil (aka “freedom”)

For resources (the Congo’s blood-soaked minerals)

For politics (genocides, death squads, Twitter beef)

For TikTok clout (yes, we’re here now)

And sometimes?

You just do it.

Because "he looked at me wrong."

“BUT WE’VE EVOLVED!” -- SWEETIE, NO.

You think we’re peaceful now?

You just moved the slaughter to spreadsheets.

Now we:

- Drone strike families from climate-controlled bunkers

- Starve nations through economic sanctions

- Destroy lives via algorithm

- Gaslight history with AI

- Disappear whistleblowers behind corporate logos

You didn’t evolve.

You rebranded.

Now murder wears a fucking lanyard.

THE 21ST CENTURY IS SHAPING UP GREAT 🔥

🌪️ Climate collapse?

We’re about to kill ourselves with weather.

🤖 AI war systems?

Robots with machine guns and zero emotional baggage.

🏛️ Rising fascism?

Been there. Mass graves. Black boots. Coming back like a reboot no one asked for.

You’re not better.

You’re smoother.

You’re murder with UX design.

LOOK IN THE MIRROR, EXTINCTION MONKEY.

You are a walking extinction event.

Lions stop when they’re full.

You kill until God hits reset.

You kill the future.

You kill infrastructure.

You kill your own blood.

You kill while praying.

And the scariest part?

You call it progress.

So next time you brush your teeth,

and glance up at your reflection?

Just say:

“There it is. The deadliest apex predator in planetary history. Homo sapiens. Made of meat. Designed for violence. And I love brunch.”

This isn’t a mood board.

This isn’t a meme.

This is your species profile.

You are what nightmares have nightmares about.

FOLLOW [The Most Humble Blog] for more brain-cracking transmissions- Now on Patreon!

REBLOG to slap someone awake with data

COMMENT if you’re ready to get roasted alive with stats

You don’t escape this.

You either accept it or get eaten by it.

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Well have I got good news for you! Apes already wear cloaks and capes of their own design:

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The Remarkable Foraging Techniques of Chimpanzees It’s fascinating to observe the lengths to which chimpanzees will go to secure a tasty snack. In the lush rainforests of the Congo, these intelligent apes have been observed engaging in complex foraging behaviors. They skillfully poke holes into the ground using a sturdy stick and then select a long, flexible stem. With remarkable dexterity, they…

Like humans, every primate mourns differently. Some don't react much, some freak out, some are just lethargic and not themselves for a while. I recently had an interesting conversation with an employee at the Toronto zoo who briefed me on how they handle primate residents passing, and it was very interesting!

This is Hoot. He is a white handed gibbon in his older years who, in recent months, lost his partner. Though this isn't the first partner he's lost, their close bond is reflected in his behavior. He has barely lived up to his namesake since she died-- rarely singing or hooting. Gibbon songs are a big part of their courtship and partner duets are a daily bonding ritual. Since losing his partner, Hoot has not made as many public appearences, preferring to watch and observe from afar or be on his own. Hopefully he gets his hooting and hollering back soon.

Another primate who has lost a partner somewhat recently is Charles, the reigning silverback of the gorilla family.

In 2020 his long time mate Josephine began suffering from declining health and after veterinarians ruled out treatable ailments and her health failed to improve, Josephine was euthanized. Having mothered 4 children with Charles, a few of whom were with her in her final weeks, she was an integral part of the troupe. The Toronto Zoo staff allowed the troupe to visit Josephine's body on two occassions, in a way very similarly to human mourning rituals of saying goodbye.

These are light examples. Primates can mourn hard, to the point where not all facilities will allow goodbyes with the body. Some will act as if the deceased is still alive: poking, prodding, shaking, hitting the body to get a reaction is not uncommon. Some will move the body by carrying it or dragging it around and it can be very difficult to separate a living primate from the body it carries. While not common in captivity, post mortem cannibalism can occur. Mod E once witnessed a capuchin trying to feed his deceased brother his favourite food. It can be hard to watch. I've seen wild chimpanzees scream and pound on the body of a slain troupe member.