fo sheezy it's off the heezy

if you have access to a gym/appropriate facilities:

a LOT of people in the notes vouching for swimming, and it makes sense. not only is it basically zero impact on any of your joints, it engages just about every muscle in your body and it’s actually easier to stay afloat the higher your bodyfat%

stationary bike/elliptical: works for some better than others, but definitely far lower impact than running, usually has adjustable difficulty, and you can watch youtube videos or play games on your phone to pass the time

non stationary bike: the benefits of a stationary bike plus the ability to travel to a location

weight lifting: if you’re a total beginner to exercise this genuinely might be a better place to start than any designated ‘cardio’ activity, it Will get your heart rate up and build strength to do higher impact stuff with less risk, but designing a routine can feel overwhelming without help from a trainer/more experienced lifter

classes: yoga, pilates, dance, kickboxing, spin class, water aerobics, etc. as long as you can find one that accommodates your current fitness level and is a reasonably friendly environment

rowing: i actually know relatively little about rowing, but this has come up in the notes several times and people seem to like it. def seems like a good overall workout with little to no jarring impact

roller derby: definitely less of a Safe Beginner Activity and more ‘form of cardio you can do if you are on the fit side but still hate running’ but has come up in the notes multiple times specifically as a sport where a range of body types can do well

minimal equipment alternatives:

walking: if you have the resources to jog you have the resources to walk, and it really is a good form of exercise that also puts less strain on your joints

dance tutorials: seen a few people recommending these, there’s apparently a huge variety on youtube and you can take things at whatever pace works for you

yoga: also beginner friendly classes on youtube, good way to build up mobility and bodyweight strength

someone in the notes recommended hula hooping?? which actually sounds kind of genius especially if you don’t have a lot of gear or space. also iirc you can buy different weights of hula hoops for reasonably cheap so there’s a way to up the intensity over time

this seems like a decent resource at first glance and i think i saw more than one rec for them

one important thing to remember for anyone out there who’s significantly out of shape and feels overwhelmed is that when it comes to fitness you have one enormous advantage: it is currently EXTREMELY EASY for you to get exercise

I was about to second weightlifting "unless you have a joint issue," then realised that's literally what we're talking about here. If you have joint issues, do the same movements without weights.

Watching for clunk:

Move around in ways that don't cause your joints to twinge, clunk, grind or click. If you find a position that's kinda hard to do or maintain, ie it makes your muscles burn and you don't want to, that's awesome. Do that a few times. You'll get stronger there. If there's a thing you need to do but it makes you go clunk, get as far into that position as you can without going clunk and try to hold it till your muscles burn.

Stretching

Never stretch cold. In fact, for a little while you may not need to stretch, in the sense of pulling really hard on your muscles. Just gently ease your joints loose before you go back to sitting.

If you feel awful

If you feel awful awful awful, you may be dehydrated, even if you're not thirsty. Drinking a few pints (!) of water may perk you up.

If no matter how much water you drink you're still thirsty, you may need salt.

If you feel dizzy and sick and cold and tired and you can't build muscle, this can be almost anything, but can be anaemia. Do get a blood test if you can. If they say "normal range" and you menstruate - ask for the actual number, because you'll feel a lot better at the top of that range than at the bottom. Food intolerances can cause anaemia.

If exercise has always felt terrible (made you feel dizzy and sick and like you were going to die) do get a blood test if you can - there is often a medical reason.

Achievement

The weird Oreos don’t sell… but the weird Oreos just being around and visible make people buy more regular Oreos.

when you are on a date, and someone has an interest you don't quite get, instead of saying lol lame, try saying hmm i don't quite get that, please explain that to me, and then listen as the other person talks about why that thing is something they are in to.

you might learn something which recontextualizes the matter, and you will definitely learn something more about your date, which is the entire point of dating.

you don't have to be a superfan by the end, but you will have shown you can be chill and take an interest in stuff, which is much more likely to result in a second date instead of being ditched in a coffee line.

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

and everyone is posting their 4th of july manis

except this year its very few american flags and red white and blue and stars.

and a LOT of pond scum inspiration