Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

oozey mess
YOU ARE THE REASON

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we're not kids anymore.

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Today's Document
Jules of Nature
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Sweet Seals For You, Always

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One Nice Bug Per Day

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@randomthoughtsin
Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

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i am. quite high rn and unreasonably delighted by the little pride flags that appear when u like queer posts. that shit is so cute
"does it have to be queer"
yes, next question, unless the next question is "why", in which case I am pulling the lever
Could it be more queer?
(To my personal assistant) Increase the sea salted wolverine’s budget
Why must I be awake.
#another victim of the woke agenda
@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?
I wish it paid more
Honestly? Valid.
Ok, hear me out. I know we have a couple of DC/Invincible crossover universes. What about one where Batman and Robin are LITERALLY Batman and Robin. Batman sees this feral eldritch horror and his adoption instincts kick in, because SOMEONE needs to teach this OP gremlin some morals. Newsflash, it doesn’t work but he’s attached so…give her the Jason Todd treatment and agree to disagree, that’s his little girl now. Robin is in it for the vibes (and the now loads of cash she has full access to as the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne). Joker kills her favorite brother and welp, guess the clown’s gotta go. Batman is like, “Robin, please. Stop. Killing is wrong.” She’s all “No 😜” And he just accepts it because what the hell is he gonna do? Put his cosmic entity daughter in prison? Nobody liked Joker anyway. Besides, she’d just break out.
Robin immediately solves the entire conflict between Bruce and Jason (when he eventually comes back via Pit shenanigans) due to killing Joker, as well as wins her the favorite sibling award.
But then she meets Mark and “Wait, Invincible is here too?!” (Cause she’s also super oblivious and was so hyped over the DC side, she missed the fact that she is living in a merged universe). Attaches herself to her favorite character, Mark is head over heels, all the while the Batfam is acting real overprotective when it comes to arguably the most powerful being in the universe
(I also thought it’d be really funny if Darksied shows up, takes one look at Robin and immediately runs away because hey can somehow sense/see WHAT she is and it TERRIFIES him)
Just finished off a small snippet that is like. 90% implications of wtf is going on in this AU but I think it's fun so-
You return to the Batcave, and walk directly into an ambush.
Now, this isn’t that uncommon. You’ve developed something of a reputation for strolling directly into ambushes of all kinds. Tim once showed you a graph factually proving that out of all Robins (of the costumed variety, not the birds, or the you’s), you have the most ambush-colliding missions on record. Adjusted for time spent as (that kind of) Robin, naturally.

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June 1st is TOMORROW. It means that GAY PEOPLE will exist, but only for ONE MONTH. Do not forget to buy your tickets to see them NOW, or else you will have to wait AN ENTIRE YEAR to be able to meet them AGAIN.
always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal
You have to let people love you. You have to let people get to know you. You have to let people help you. Being so completely selfless that you try to erase yourself off the face of the planet and never ask for anything and reject everybody's offers of support makes you very hard to love! Unfortunately. Emptying yourself out of everything that makes you, you is not actually what your loved ones want from you, generally. They want to make you happy! They will be so so sad if you don't give them the chance. It's not all selfish. I promise.

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top 5 horror movies
-having a job
-not having a job
-applying for jobs
-the job market
-the concept of working my whole life
FUCK it’s even worse, Mark said HE will get out of the Blood Ocean and curl up in Ryan’s arms, I cannot—
I need every single one of you to know this is 1. how i found out that Iron Lung is getting released and 2. That this is confirmation that Markiplier does, in fact, know we are shipping him with Ryan Gosling
Oh my fucking god.
Shout out to trans women who aren’t computer scientists or musicians or avant-garde artists or whatever.
Shout-out to tgirls who work at Taco Bell. Thank u queen, society would collapse without you
Over twenty years ago my big brother got me a job at a Taco Bell in the St. Louis suburbs-West County. He warned me that it was the “gay Taco Bell”, but since I was coming from the “gay Howard Johnson’s” I wasn’t shocked. It turns out it was the black trans women Taco Bell complete with black trans women in management. And they’d worked out an arrangement with the local teen Narcotics Anonymous group so that twice a week we would shut down the drive thru and the dining room and exclusively serve 60+ teens in various stages of recovery. And many of the women I worked with were in various stages of being out or transitioning and they were from all generations from teens to over 50. One woman I worked with had a regular corporate job presenting as a man 9-5 Mon-Fri and then came to Taco Bell and worked 6pm -2am Friday and Saturday night so she could be herself surrounded by other black transwomen in those stolen weekends. And we had customers come from all over the metro area because they knew they could be themselves in the dining room. I only worked there from 1999-2001 but for young me, this was a vital, formative experience. Some of the girls came from north city all the way out to the “gay Taco Bell” on Manchester in west county because they heard it was safe to work there. Like- I know times have changed but they haven’t changed much in 20 years. I’m still convinced that for lgbt youth, finding a job at your city’s version of the “gay Taco Bell” is key to survival.
Thank u for sharing this with us

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hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)
there is delaware (state) and delaware (river)
both are equally strange
the state is a tiny little cryptid thing
the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.
the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.
THATS TUPPERWARE
i thought delaware was a place in ohio? why are there so many things named delaware?
delaware is too powerful
what the fuck
Wait what? I thought Delaware was a store with building supplies. Like paint, wood, nails and stuff?
THATS HOME DEPOT ???
I know home depot, but dude I don't know anything about America mad have never been there. Are you sure there is not a some sort of store called something close to Delaware!?!
.....ace hardware....?
this post has only been around for a few hours but could very well be a world heritage post
but at what cost
This post launched at 8am PST on 12 Feb 2021. The above conversation has happened in 3 hours.
he WHAT? i thought he was from. w. wait. ???
delaware stole the presidents shoelaces for clout and became too powerful
From the UK- and what do you mean Delaware isn't a type of ceramic?
it is now
@hellsite-hall-of-fame is it too early?
Isn’t delaware what they make computers on???
software ??
I think they meant Dell Ware, a specific computer type. We had a Dell computer once.
I thought Delaware was that famous singer they spoofed in Zootopia.
gazelle??
oh i thought delaware was that one british singer lady, you know, the one from chasing pavements
that's fucking adele
isn’t delaware that place you go when you die
youre thinking of superhell and all of you are going there
how the fuck did any of you come to the conclusions you all made
we live in america?
I thought Delaware was that food delivery service that keeps interrupting youtube videos with their ads when I'm trying to have a good time
..... are you talking about Doordash???
Isn't Delawere the name of that one girl in the song that goes "Hey there, Delawere"? She's from NYC or something.
THATS HEY THERE DELILAH
Pausing here to point out that op is “dear-AO3″ and now I’m wondering if Delaware fanfic would be categorized as RSF (real state fic) or AU (alternate unitedstates)
stop i do not want to think about this
Isn’t Delaware that SPN ship that exploded the internet
Everyone on this post:
I love that the “no, that’s [x]” meme is making a comeback here and only here and nobody has any idea what’s going on
Keep up the good work, we can make poor OP have a melt down yet.
Isn't delaware that one brand of pizza that's like "it's not delivery, it's delaware."
isn't delaware the god of the sea
Isn't Delaware the name of that guy who painted the Mona Lisa?
delaware is that one evil cyborg guy that has a son named Luke and a red laser sword
Thats Darth Vader. Im pretty sure Delaware is that other red-laser sword guy. You know. The one that stabbed Qui-Gon.
what have i created
I usually only reblog older posts, but this definitely deserves to be in every tumblr hall of fame
this post has only existed for 8 days.
This is fantastic because it goes great with my theory that Delaware only exists for tax purposes. Like, all the states really only exists for Tax Purposes, but Delaware is particularly fake because back in 2012 I got lost in the Alleged Delaware Area looking trying to get to a family reunion, but every time I pulled over for directions, I would ask what the hell state I was in now, and I went through Mayland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey AND Virginia and I never fucking found Delaware but I did eventually find the Family Reunion and earned the repsepct of my then-prospective- Great-Grandmother-In-Law by saving her favorite grandchildren from a furious oceangoing horse so I’m convinced that not only is the state a purely legal construct, they didn’t even dedicate any landmass to it, or it’s a gov’t blackzone where the carnivorous horses live.
World Heritage Post
fun fact, i actually drove through delaware on this posts 6 month birthday. i hate it here.
This post literally fills me with life,tysm.
This post confused the heck out of me, I don't even know what's going on in this post, why the hell am I rebloging it?
A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was