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Ok, hear me out. I know we have a couple of DC/Invincible crossover universes. What about one where Batman and Robin are LITERALLY Batman and Robin. Batman sees this feral eldritch horror and his adoption instincts kick in, because SOMEONE needs to teach this OP gremlin some morals. Newsflash, it doesn’t work but he’s attached so…give her the Jason Todd treatment and agree to disagree, that’s his little girl now. Robin is in it for the vibes (and the now loads of cash she has full access to as the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne). Joker kills her favorite brother and welp, guess the clown’s gotta go. Batman is like, “Robin, please. Stop. Killing is wrong.” She’s all “No 😜” And he just accepts it because what the hell is he gonna do? Put his cosmic entity daughter in prison? Nobody liked Joker anyway. Besides, she’d just break out.
Robin immediately solves the entire conflict between Bruce and Jason (when he eventually comes back via Pit shenanigans) due to killing Joker, as well as wins her the favorite sibling award.
But then she meets Mark and “Wait, Invincible is here too?!” (Cause she’s also super oblivious and was so hyped over the DC side, she missed the fact that she is living in a merged universe). Attaches herself to her favorite character, Mark is head over heels, all the while the Batfam is acting real overprotective when it comes to arguably the most powerful being in the universe
(I also thought it’d be really funny if Darksied shows up, takes one look at Robin and immediately runs away because hey can somehow sense/see WHAT she is and it TERRIFIES him)
Just finished off a small snippet that is like. 90% implications of wtf is going on in this AU but I think it's fun so-
You return to the Batcave, and walk directly into an ambush.
Now, this isn’t that uncommon. You’ve developed something of a reputation for strolling directly into ambushes of all kinds. Tim once showed you a graph factually proving that out of all Robins (of the costumed variety, not the birds, or the you’s), you have the most ambush-colliding missions on record. Adjusted for time spent as (that kind of) Robin, naturally.
(And revealing that he was staying off his broken ankle, instead of jumping right back into the fray like certain vigilantes whose hero-sona’s begin with the letter N and end with ightwing.)
Also naturally, you responded by making a concentrated effort to blunder more obviously into traps, set-ups, tomfoolery and acts of sabotage. And foil them every time.
So yeah, okay, you saw this one coming from a mile off. It isn’t like your weirdass form of family is particularly subtle about how much they disapprove of your boyfriend.
Thinking of Mark makes you smile like a damn teenager with their first crush. He’s just so…Mark.
You had a team-up with him today. He came to the outskirts of Gotham - because he’s scared of Batman despite you telling him he’s been cleared for visits - to pick you up early in the morning, so you could spend the whole day together.
Nothing serious, just whatever cropped up that could do with some heroic interference. Abso-fucking-lutely overkill to send you both in, but Cecil has made it very clear you’re always welcome to the missions he gives Invincible. Mark once complained about favourtism, to Cecil’s “I’d trade you out in a heartbeat, kid.”
Ha. As if Mark would survive working the Gotham nights.
Oh, he’s been a great help on a few big action events, but the regular chaos? The Sisyphean task of preventing the city from slouching ever deeper into a sunk-cost fallacy given ten-tonne anchors? Yeah, he doesn’t quite suit the ongoing, lovable grime of this grind - or the more delicate work part and parcel with the setting.
Technically, you don’t suit it either. You’re just the adaptable sort.
Anyway. Ambush.
Given the multiple expansion packs applied to Gotham’s vigilantes, it isn’t unusual to have a few milling about the Batcave. Pretty much everyone except you and Damian have their own base of operations, or betrayed you all for another city entirely, but the computer and lab here are only beat by Barbara’s set up. Can’t sneeze at the gym either, or the tech just waiting to be swiped on a refill or “oooh that’s new, mind if I take a look?” never to be seen again.
Those are the logical reasons. The core of it is that everyone’s so much more social than they’d like to admit - except Dick. He’d prefer for everyone to think he’s the most social, as if he can’t brood and self-isolate with the best of them.
“This isn’t an ambush,” Dick says as he herds you away from the escape route of your bike, and over towards the family gathering.
He also prefers to think he can read you best after Cass - false, Damian and Tim have even odds on guessing whatever the fuck is wrong with you on any given day, likely assisted by the checklist of morals you three keep updated on together - which is presumably why he felt the need to lie.
He’s usually a better liar than this. Must already know feel the impending failure of the mission these dumb smart people have assigned themselves.
“If it quacks like a duck,” you mutter as you let him keep a too-tight grip on your shoulders. Well, too-tight by human metrics. You may not have been a very good Robin, but you did win on sheer durability. “If this is meant to be my surprise birthday party, you’re a few months early.”
“Nah, we’re still on for Vegas,” he says with a little more pep. Last year did go pretty well, even if you had to kidnap him from Bludhaven and foist his cold cases off on a few willing (blackmailed) helpers. “This is- let’s call it a debriefing? You like debriefings.”
“‘Intervention’ is more accurate,” claims Tim now you’ve joined the generalised grouping of vigilantes over near the main computer.
All attempts to fake being otherwise engaged cease. You respect the bean bag and popcorn bowl Stephanie has brought down for the event; she did send you a warning text before you arrived. As much as lol gtrdy 2hearhow much ur cute boyfrind sux <3 <3 counts as a warning.
You look at Bruce, sans cowl but otherwise fully costumed, and standing stiffly near the front of the pack. His jaw clenches. Ha, didn’t take him long to regret this latest awful choice, did it? What a dork.
You widen your eyes, as always adoring the flexibility of a domino mask to really make your natural inexpressiveness pop. “You don’t like my first ever boyfriend?”
And thus begins the latest attempt to make you dump your boyfriend which, ha, is never happening. Mark already passed Jason’s interrogation a few weeks ago without being scared off (though he did ask why Jason called you his ‘twin’ when the two of you are blatantly nothing alike, and you weren’t quite ready to get into the ‘zombie robins’ thing, so you blamed it on the fact your terms as Robin overlapped).
Given this world’s setting too, with Omni-Man a confirmed traitor to the Viltrum Empire now he has some Earthly backup…You’re feeling pretty hopeful for the future.
So, yeah. What else can you be, except fondly amused by the minor drama that is most of your found family really not liking your first ever boyfriend?
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June 1st is TOMORROW. It means that GAY PEOPLE will exist, but only for ONE MONTH. Do not forget to buy your tickets to see them NOW, or else you will have to wait AN ENTIRE YEAR to be able to meet them AGAIN.
always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal
You have to let people love you. You have to let people get to know you. You have to let people help you. Being so completely selfless that you try to erase yourself off the face of the planet and never ask for anything and reject everybody's offers of support makes you very hard to love! Unfortunately. Emptying yourself out of everything that makes you, you is not actually what your loved ones want from you, generally. They want to make you happy! They will be so so sad if you don't give them the chance. It's not all selfish. I promise.
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I need every single one of you to know this is 1. how i found out that Iron Lung is getting released and 2. That this is confirmation that Markiplier does, in fact, know we are shipping him with Ryan Gosling
Over twenty years ago my big brother got me a job at a Taco Bell in the St. Louis suburbs-West County. He warned me that it was the “gay Taco Bell”, but since I was coming from the “gay Howard Johnson’s” I wasn’t shocked. It turns out it was the black trans women Taco Bell complete with black trans women in management. And they’d worked out an arrangement with the local teen Narcotics Anonymous group so that twice a week we would shut down the drive thru and the dining room and exclusively serve 60+ teens in various stages of recovery. And many of the women I worked with were in various stages of being out or transitioning and they were from all generations from teens to over 50. One woman I worked with had a regular corporate job presenting as a man 9-5 Mon-Fri and then came to Taco Bell and worked 6pm -2am Friday and Saturday night so she could be herself surrounded by other black transwomen in those stolen weekends. And we had customers come from all over the metro area because they knew they could be themselves in the dining room. I only worked there from 1999-2001 but for young me, this was a vital, formative experience. Some of the girls came from north city all the way out to the “gay Taco Bell” on Manchester in west county because they heard it was safe to work there. Like- I know times have changed but they haven’t changed much in 20 years. I’m still convinced that for lgbt youth, finding a job at your city’s version of the “gay Taco Bell” is key to survival.
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hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)
there is delaware (state) and delaware (river)
both are equally strange
the state is a tiny little cryptid thing
the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.
the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.
I know home depot, but dude I don't know anything about America mad have never been there. Are you sure there is not a some sort of store called something close to Delaware!?!
Pausing here to point out that op is “dear-AO3″ and now I’m wondering if Delaware fanfic would be categorized as RSF (real state fic) or AU (alternate unitedstates)
This is fantastic because it goes great with my theory that Delaware only exists for tax purposes. Like, all the states really only exists for Tax Purposes, but Delaware is particularly fake because back in 2012 I got lost in the Alleged Delaware Area looking trying to get to a family reunion, but every time I pulled over for directions, I would ask what the hell state I was in now, and I went through Mayland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey AND Virginia and I never fucking found Delaware but I did eventually find the Family Reunion and earned the repsepct of my then-prospective- Great-Grandmother-In-Law by saving her favorite grandchildren from a furious oceangoing horse so I’m convinced that not only is the state a purely legal construct, they didn’t even dedicate any landmass to it, or it’s a gov’t blackzone where the carnivorous horses live.
A doll youtuber I watch has made a video about the history of Polly Pocket, and she's describing the plots of the dvd specials, one of which features an elderly woman named Ms. Throckmorton, and my reaction was
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