there's no book club??

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

bbc merlin has a lot of faults but i do think the way they blithely ignored the existence of christianity was very funny of them

"#'old religion' they said. and then simply said nothing of a new religion" yeah Uther Pendragon, noted athiest. Entirely agnostic court. It's crazy that there's no belief system backing anything up. Like, we're going to get by on vague prophecies but also prophecies are magic which is evil. Divine right of kings but no divinity. Mirrors and mirrors but no windows.

also i love when tv shows signify that a new scene is immediately post-sex by cutting to a shot of two characters falling face-up into bed next to each other. it always makes me imagine that for them, sex must have taken the form of levitating supine above the mattress shoulder-to-shoulder, staring at the ceiling & not touching or acknowledging each other

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

(interprets the prophecy) god fucking dammit not again

hey itll be okay. blorbo covered in blood