Have You Tried Turning My ❤️ Off And Back On

*through gritted teeth* every day i choose to be kind *barely restraining myself from violence* i choose to have compassion *tamping down the vicious bloodlust inside me* i choose to care and to be kind and to love

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

…Oh, so by “gay”, you mean. Actually gay.

I don’t usually reblog stuff like this but tbh this is the kind of content I live for.

Happy Pride Month!

Today at work a girl at my register was heatedly explaining to her mother that wearing a dinosaur costume to her school’s decades day was, in fact, perfectly acceptable because her teachers did not specify any particular decades.

delighted to find out that there were ancient roman versions of john doe and those guys were gaius seius and lucius titius. mundane little bit of info but it brings me a lot of joy to know they had their own way of saying "insert client name here"

Shout out to the (many) times I got called an elitist gatekeeper for saying that the only real way to fully understand a work of fiction is to experience it firsthand and that summaries and reviews are not a replacement for that

To quote what a friend of mine said after she watched Jerry Maguire (1996) for the first time, having thought she knew what it was about because of its cultural ubiquity: “you miss a lot of a movie when you don’t watch it”

why not give yourself an extra pronoun? as a treat. go pick one out champ. you earned it. i am so proud of you

oh that's a good choice buddy. i've had my Her for a long time. make sure you check out the neos in the next aisle before you make your decision though ok? in the next several aisles i mean

pardon me can you direct us to the changing rooms? my friend here wanted to try on this Emself before buying it

take your time pal. i'm gonna go see about upgrading my he/him package

heheh. package

i feel like a lot of people see it as a flaw in storytelling when an actor's personality bleeds into or eclipses the typical characterization of their character but personally i think one of the funniest things abt taako adventurezone is that he is sometimes temporarily possessed by a deeply socially anxious nearing middle aged suburban father . its a core component of the character that i feel cannot be ignored

The "-calyptus" part means "covered", so eucalyptus's opposite would be something that's 1. naked and 2. bad at it

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

the thing about fruit flies is that in the abstract, they live peaceful and irreproachable lives nibbling on overripe fruit and its attending microbes, but practically speaking they awaken some sort of primordial rage within me. Get off my bananas you little fucks