Have You Tried Turning My ❤️ Off And Back On

*through gritted teeth* every day i choose to be kind *barely restraining myself from violence* i choose to have compassion *tamping down the vicious bloodlust inside me* i choose to care and to be kind and to love

delighted to find out that there were ancient roman versions of john doe and those guys were gaius seius and lucius titius. mundane little bit of info but it brings me a lot of joy to know they had their own way of saying "insert client name here"

Shout out to the (many) times I got called an elitist gatekeeper for saying that the only real way to fully understand a work of fiction is to experience it firsthand and that summaries and reviews are not a replacement for that

To quote what a friend of mine said after she watched Jerry Maguire (1996) for the first time, having thought she knew what it was about because of its cultural ubiquity: “you miss a lot of a movie when you don’t watch it”

why not give yourself an extra pronoun? as a treat. go pick one out champ. you earned it. i am so proud of you

oh that's a good choice buddy. i've had my Her for a long time. make sure you check out the neos in the next aisle before you make your decision though ok? in the next several aisles i mean

pardon me can you direct us to the changing rooms? my friend here wanted to try on this Emself before buying it

take your time pal. i'm gonna go see about upgrading my he/him package

heheh. package

i feel like a lot of people see it as a flaw in storytelling when an actor's personality bleeds into or eclipses the typical characterization of their character but personally i think one of the funniest things abt taako adventurezone is that he is sometimes temporarily possessed by a deeply socially anxious nearing middle aged suburban father . its a core component of the character that i feel cannot be ignored

The "-calyptus" part means "covered", so eucalyptus's opposite would be something that's 1. naked and 2. bad at it

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

the thing about fruit flies is that in the abstract, they live peaceful and irreproachable lives nibbling on overripe fruit and its attending microbes, but practically speaking they awaken some sort of primordial rage within me. Get off my bananas you little fucks

all babies are baby gender. you dress them stupid, in pumpkins and teddy bear suits

> medical problem > unsure if it's serious or will go away on its own > sees a doctor to be sure > "why the fuck are you here. this is nothing. it will go away on its own"

> medical problem > unsure if it's serious or will go away on its own > decide to wait to not overreact > problem remains > sees doctor with concrete problem after all > "why did you wait so long. we could have done something if you had come immediately"

you guys need to go look up HelloFresh's Pride Month post

IT'S PRIDE MONTH POST JUSTIN MCELROY SAYING "Hm. Kinda faggy."

Happy Kinda Faggy Friday

See the problem with this clip is there is nowhere else but here we can talk about it. On tik tok this would cause 1 month of discourse and Justin mcelroy would block me forever for posting about it. But it's the funniest thing on earth to me. But I can't tell anyone.