may fortune favor the fuck ups

a small thing i learned from my sister dying is that i really would rather the people i love be a burden than be whatever the hell else they'd be if they weren't. yes even if it's messy and not always fair and hard completely inconvenient for everyone involved. even if it's weird. even if i'm rolling my eyes a bit inside sometimes. i just want you to bother me. please always bother me

like "it's rotten work" "not to me not if it's you" actually sometimes it's still rotten work. even if it's you. and i'd still do it a million times over

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

can anyone find the satiric newspaper headline that might have been something other than the onion that was along the lines of “‘This Is More Relevant/Timely Than Ever,’ Says Theater Company About to Put on Oldass Play Worse Than Has Ever Been Done Before”

thank you…i should have known it was him

I would say killed the villain, not murdered. Murder implies that it was premeditated and out of malice. Eric was defending his girlfriend's life while Ursula was attempting to murder her. He was well and fully justified in his actions.

Periodic reminder that everybody who aided Trump's reelection should be miserable constantly and that no amount of pain or suffering is too much for them.

me when I see a cat if I’m being honest

I drink two cups of coffee per day not because I have an addiction, but because my body has adapted to the presence of caffeine enough that its absence causes mild but unpleasant side effects.

I dusted the TV stand not because it was dusty but because it was covered in fine particulate matter that settled from the air.

I reblogged this post not because I liked it and wanted to share it, but because reading it elicited a pleasant sensation that I felt would be appreciated by others

shipping the popular yaoi pairing but shaking my head while i do to indicate that i also care about the work's themes and other characters

for a long time now, one of my go-to phrases is "shake it like a can of beans." im not really sure where this came from, but i've been saying it for three years or so. it never really occurred to me that this was unusual until yesterday when i was bouncing a baby in a rocker a little too violently (he was having a great time, it just wasnt exactly sending him to sleep) and i went "sorry, im shaking him like a can of beans over here" and both my coworkers reacted like i had said something insane

one of the babies was getting picked up and started screaming as soon as her dad pulled her from her crib (where she'd been sleeping) and i instinctively said "that's what we in the industry call: baby moding" and he started laughing so hard he almost dropped her