We're legends.

now we know the source fellas please appreciate and acknowledge the artist for all ur memes

detective pikachu was a cute movie and all but the part where they drenched a mr. mime in gasoline before setting him on fire and watching him burn alive was really fucked up

hey op i didn’t think you were serious

social media popularity and influencer culture is gross but also.. i wanna make money for doing absolutely nothing too

It’s a TON of work. It’s not doing nothing???? It’s taking pictures at the ass crack of dawn to make a hotel stay “look like a vacation” it’s eating cold food because it took forever to get that right lighting. It’s editing photos and videos for hours because shit has to look professional af. We’re business people, photographers, marketing experts, and have to look good doing it so fuck off w this “influencers do nothing” shit. 🙄

Imagine being so privileged and narcissistic that you genuinely think things like waking up early and eating sub-par food are incredible hardships unique to your lifestyle.

Not even subpar…just like..cold.

Im.sorry I’ve lived my entire life not realizing that echolocation could possibly be felt and I have to come to terms with the fact that whales have sonic attacks

I’m the real estate agent that sells obviously haunted houses to nice white families that want to get away from it all.

I would like to give you my business. I’m tryin to die penniless and leave nothing but a found footage film to my kids in the will

Then oh boy, do I have the forest cottage for you! Far from anyone that could help you, it has a gorgeous view of a lake where dozens of people have gone missing. There’s a rumor of a killer that raises from the water, but this place has an excellent porch

Is there a small, dark washing room in the basement corner that’s at least ten degrees colder than the rest of the house? That’s a must.

Yes. And there’s a latch window that always seems to swing open in the middle of the night.

Wonderful! I especially love how cell receptionist patchy at best, making any attempted outgoing call to the police as dramatic as possible.

I think you’ll also love how it’ll immediately become pitch black as soon as the clock strikes 5:00 pm no matter the time of year. There’s also no stars for some reason.

Did the previous owner leave any religious iconography that could slowly appear to distort and corrupt over time, or will I need to furnish that myself?

Let’s just say I definitely didn’t put these area rugs here myself to cover a few ornate symbols drawn in blood 😇

You’ve got a sale!

This post deserves so many more notes. I could not breathe the other day trying to read this out loud to my mom it was so fucking funny

analog electronics are obviously less efficient and usually clunky but they have a quality to them that i really love. theres a good brian eno quote on it

infants are so goddamn funny. i was holding my niece today and i just told her “i diagnose you with baby” and she stared at me with the absolute widest eyes like i’d just told her the secret to life itself so i nodded and went “it’s true! you’re just baby” and she stopped for a few seconds, then absolutely YELLED her little head off, very seriously informed me, “ABABABABABAAAAA” and faceplanted into my shoulder, where she promptly began to try to eat my shirt

First Pokémon Go, now Detective Pikachu... We, as a society, really survive from burst to burst of “I wish Pokémon were real”

one funny thing about this gif i never noticed is that he has to do it in his attic to stay out of sight 

The USA are a hellscape

this whole fucking post reads like satire but its not

If that’s not enough to show the USA is an active dystopian nightmare idk what is

I didn’t need to unmute to hear her response

What a punch

This is assault and illegal. He may spew nothing but bile but his right to free speech must be protected

Freedom of speech just means the government can’t tell you what to say. 

Spent a few moments wondering why clowns are afraid of Information Technology

i wanna talk about the fact that jenna marbles says she never used to scream laugh before she met her man julien. that is the single most romantic thing i’ve ever heard of oh my god? imagine living your life for a good two and a half decades and every time something funny happened you laughed like you always had and then one day you meet this person you like and they make you have this one laugh where you scream from happiness. imagine that kind of life you get to have with your person where they unlocked an entire new level of laughing for you. that’s what real hashtag goals are.