Problems With Authority @quinbi - Tumblr Blog

In case of critical tumblr failure, you can find me on bluesky:

@quinvisible.bsky.social

Or for hockey and silly drawings of squids

@krakyandco.bsky.social

#this is not a panic #this is just me enjoying the conversation and suggesting we continue next to the life boats #if nothing happens well it's a nice night and we got to enjoy the stars for a bit

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It's very frustrating trying to get more involved with in-person activities so I don't get too isolated, because most of the people cannot fathom limitations of disabilities - especially if they vary. I can't say "hey, this situation frustrated me because I tried to approach it in a way that would work for me, but this other variable left me overwhelmed. Sorry I couldn't complete the task." And somehow that is always an attack on the variable. No, I knew the variable was an issue for me specifically, I'm frustrated my measures to avoid it failed. Is there a way I can avoid it in the future.

But no. To participate in this activity I have to be at 100% any time I'm doing it in case I need to deal with this variable (which is controllable). Which means I can't participate because I don't have the energy. Which isolates me again.

#next time I go to the community garden solo I'm locking the gate #who wants to bet someone gets mad at me for being rude doing that?#I want to go there to garden not to answer random questions from people or monitor random kids or have some follow me in to be mad at my dog #feeling very can't win

polarity-disturbed

"We know it looks like a butt plug, just drink the water, it's hot outside"

Seriously though he's right, stay hydrated

cryoverkiltmilk

"Fill up," he says.

quinbi

To be fair, when something is a weird design, the very mundane message is liking to spread further. You have to wonder if it might start being intentional...

At the community garden, shaming a tomato and some peas for their toxic relationship

#it's codependent and clingy

silvernevermind

small town diner waitress voice: Omelas? Oh, oh no, easy mistake, you're in oh - MAY - las right now, with an A. Plenty' people get the name mixed up. Nope, no utopia here, just our small little town. *face gets really grim* We do still.. Okay well we do still have a kid that we... I mean it isn't working but- well- You know. It- It's fine. I'm sure it'll start working soon.

quinbi

Now see, I always struggle because I'm probably a bit dyslexic and I grew up near Olemas. So that's how any combination of those letters sounds in my head.

The town sign listed population 6. Do with that what you will.

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isagisms

take my hand 🫴 let's write self-indulgent fanfic together forever

peg-the-empire

i love making friends in fandom, i love playing with our toys together, i love coming up with increasingly niche aus, i love lifting strangers up, i love motivating people to create, i love watching someone get excited over an idea and immediately running with it, i love yelling in tags together, i love seeing someone gain confidence in their writing/art because people were kind to them <33

onsuchsmallthingstheworldturns

Sitcom, Comedy, Parody, Adventure, Musical, FantasyA musical comedy adventure featuring a knight on a quest for love who helps a childish ki

All the episodes of Galavant are on the Internet Archive!

painedandconfusedsblog

There is a particular kind of invisibility that happens when you are profoundly sick and your world gets smaller than most people can imagine. When there are things you genuinely cannot do for yourself, yet you also don’t have the capacity to explain your situation, coordinate support, respond to messages, maintain friendships, or make your suffering legible enough for other people to understand.

quinbi

Gardening will have you doing such peaceful relaxing activities: Like arguing with a bean plant about how he is not allowed to strangle the neighbouring tomato, seriously dude, there's a nice supportive railing right there.

quinbi

This one bean plant really has a thing for the neighbouring tomato. I don't know if it's love or hate, buy I've had to separate them 3 times in two days.

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Gardening will have you doing such peaceful relaxing activities: Like arguing with a bean plant about how he is not allowed to strangle the neighbouring tomato, seriously dude, there's a nice supportive railing right there.

quinbi

Writing a cover letter and updating a resume for the first time in years has me considering that maybe I don't need to change industries that much (I really do) and it will be fine if I keep struggling at freelance work with more and more stress each month as the industry diminishes.

quinbi

Why do job listings and requirements get more intimidating the longer you look at them? The path from "that would be new and interesting" to "do I actually have experience doing that?" is about 3 incomplete cover letter paragraphs.

quinbi

Covered my eyes and hit send. This took way too long. Maybe I've just been in weird industries that are hard to standardize, but I'm mystified how some people write 5+ cover letters in a day. It is emotionally draining.

quinbi

Writing a cover letter and updating a resume for the first time in years has me considering that maybe I don't need to change industries that much (I really do) and it will be fine if I keep struggling at freelance work with more and more stress each month as the industry diminishes.

quinbi

Why do job listings and requirements get more intimidating the longer you look at them? The path from "that would be new and interesting" to "do I actually have experience doing that?" is about 3 incomplete cover letter paragraphs.

Writing a cover letter and updating a resume for the first time in years has me considering that maybe I don't need to change industries that much (I really do) and it will be fine if I keep struggling at freelance work with more and more stress each month as the industry diminishes.

#having a murder migraine at the same time doesn't help #I think the resume stuff yesterday actually gave me the migraine

bisexualityjunkie

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i-suggest-aro

imagine if people actually took romantic consent seriously. wouldn't it be fucking awesome. i know they never will, but just. take a moment and imagine it with me

i-suggest-aro

no more "just give them a chance, maybe you'll end up liking them!", no more "if you're going to reject someone, at least apologize to them!", no more shaming people for breaking up/divorcing, no more demonizing people for rejecting other peoples' romantic advances, no more shoving romance in romance repulsed peoples' face on purpose to provoke us, no more "i know we agreed to just be friends with benefits, but i thought you were going to fall in love with me eventually!", no more "i can fix them" when the only thing "wrong" with them is that they want to fuck without dating.

wouldn't it be nice?

sorcererclow

A friend I used to hang out with every week once confessed his feelings for me, which I didn't reciprocate. I wanted to stay friends, didn't see why we couldn't, we had been friends the whole time without any romance, why did that have to change? but he decided to stop hanging out with me.

I was heartbroken and felt tossed aside. I didn't understand why our friendship wasn't worth anything to him if he couldn't have me romantically or sexually. I felt betrayed and dehumanised, like I didn't matter to him as a person but only as a romantic prospect.

When I told other friends about it, to my surprise they all sided with him. "He is heartbroken, it's hard to get rejected" even my THERAPIST said this. It's not like I didn't empathize with him, but wasn't I rejected too? No one else could see that but me, they placed me as some sort of villain that had power over him in that situation, when all I did was set a boundary between friendship and romance. All I did was not consent to the terms he wanted for our relationship, I rejected them, my terms were different and he rejected those.

I've had my heart broken by friends over and over and it hurt the same, if not more, than any romantic heartbreak. Why is friendship undervalued next to romantic feelings?

To be honest, to this day I'm still pissed that no one sided with me on this. There's so much unraveling that needs to get done around how we view different relationships in our lives, and I feel like most people can't even scratch the surface when it comes to this questioning.

i-suggest-aro

i desperately need people to stop avoiding what this post is actually about. stop derailing and trying to make it be about something else instead.

THIS POST IS ABOUT ROMANTIC CONSENT.

even if the person in question didn't want to fuck them, even if he just wanted a wholesome, purely romantic, nothing sexual at all relationship, it would STILL be fucked up to BLAME someone for rejecting that.

similarly, if someone really wanted to just fuck, but they were honest and clear about that, and handled rejection gracefully, there would be literally no issue with that.

when will you people understand what i thought i made incredibly fucking clear in the original post. the problem is not, and never was, the presence of potential sexual attraction. the problem is, and always has been, ignoring ROMANTIC CONSENT.

ollifree

#people think that relationships are made of two parts#one part being ~Love~ (when it is Real it is perfect and pure and incapable of harm)#and Lust (dangerous and only ever potentially safe when tamed by a high amount of Real Love)#and thus they can only imagine that harm done in or relating to a relationship#is because of a lack of Real (romantic) Love + the presence of Lust#also i say relationship instead of just romantic relationship#because i dont think allo society is actually that good at distinguishing between types of relationships#they don't really see friendships between people who could potentially date as its own form of relationship#as much as a liminal space waiting room between being strangers and being romantic#anyways it's so fucking annoying how insistently people think that romance is only harmful because either#the person doesn't Really Love You or they ONLY want to fuck you (inherently a shallow thing to want as well!)#amatonormativity has such a grip people genuinely struggle to imagine that genuine feelings of romantic love#can be anything other than inherently good and beneficial#op you are NOT overreacting people just don't fucking understand what it's like being aroallo#and they don't give us nearly as much grace as we deserve when we get frustrated with this shit

keeping @genderkoolaid's tags because they are Important

i-suggest-aro

you'll never believe. whose main blog that post was from. hi, it's me, tumblr user radioactive-yuri, formerly known as thermodynamic-comedian. this is my side blog. and a good few years ago, i made that very post on my main blog.

i have been fighting in these trenches. for YEARS.

evidently-endless

being offered ai at every turn

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