Wouldn't you like to?

 i recommend learning other alphabets if for no other reason than it’s very fun to see people replace latin alphabet letters with complete nonsense for Aesthetic

as brutus said, tase him again

Easily the most annoying kind of vampire in the world are the ones where you finally corner the fuckers and when you're going in with the stake they start spouting off sociology 101 bullshit to try and weasel out of it. "Oh, no ethical consumption under capitalism," "oh, the rich are the real vampires if you think about it-" yeah, yeah, you ate like fifty homeless people, asshole. Hold still

Okay but if you aren't a vegetarian your case against vampires is actually pretty weak.

I SAID HOLD STILL

buddie trope i love: when eddie thinks he’s being clear about demonstrating his romantic/sexual interest in buck without explicitly saying it and is having a great time dating buck while buck believes his heterosexual best friend has decided to start emotionally torturing him

The king and queen of the realm have seven children, and you are the youngest. You always felt your presence there was insignificant, so one night, you and your girlfriend left without telling anyone. Six months later, your entire family shows up at your doorstep, looking for you.

Mitch McConnell has been sent to a nice farm out in the country where there's lots of open space to run around and lots of other senators for him to play with

can we send him to the glue factory instead

this is going to sound like such a little sibling ass take but i genuinely believe that being a little bit annoying is actually a greater sign of maturity and self awareness than being universally likeable and on good terms with everyone

if some people find me annoying and can't stand me because of how i think and act then that means i'm a fully realized human being with my own personality and opinions and free will and not just a reflective surface for other people's desires, which is in fact a good thing despite what people who want you to just be a reflection of their own opinions and desires will tell you, and why being considered "cringe" or whatever doesn't bother me at all

also it's really funny when you're confident enough in yourself to know that people not liking you isn't always a sign that you're the problem. like there's something undeniably hilarious about being aware your mere existence has the power to piss someone off and ruin their day and i recommend embracing it.

Oh fucking thissss

we all love dynamics that remind us of the moon and the sun but I am baffled by the lack of love for dynamics that are reminiscent of the moon and the EARTH.

I am so full of life but you are the reason my tides have a rhythm. you are the reason my oceans are brimming with life. you are the reason I can see the light in myself even when it all seems dark and you are the reason my orbit is stable and my seasons make sense. do you see it

Moon has scars from meteors that would’ve otherwise hit us

AOAOIUUHHH. NOBODY TALK TO ME

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

i love sibling estrangement as horror. Only one person in the entire world has been through what youve been through and they deny it . Awesome

Not to sound mushy, but stories about two lonely characters from vastly different worlds finding solace with each other always appeal to me

You know what makes it even better? If one of them is sort of evil.

or hear me out… both…