I have a REALLY dumb omegaverse thought
Urbanized omegas = r/stupiddovenests
They buy them ready-made and stuff. Don't learn The Skills. Put them in a room with traditional materials and they do fuck all for insulation or padding.
Urban omegas are the pigeons of the omegaverse world. Their nest has three cigarettes and a takeout menu. Also wallpaper from grandma's (it's a healthy green!) (Arsenic).
If it isn't ready-made, it's got like. plastic bags from local chinese takeout in the lining WAIT NO, IT'S ALSO r/malelivingspaces
"I just met this really hot omega, but look at. whatever it is." and it's like thirty deconstructed amazon boxes and a bunch of scarves from a street vendor.
"He keeps saying that cardboard is good insulation? I think he glued them together so they'd stay in place?"
"Guys I think if I try to fuck him it's going to fall apart and then he's going to cry or something because I broke his cardboard nest."
"…I'm gonna buy him like ten pillows. This isn't even me doing alpha courtship stuff, this is just SAD."
Hitting on a cool alpha and then he stares at your awesome eco-aware recycled materials nest in abject horror.
He gets you bamboo pillows because his criticisms got you started on a rant about the evils of polyfill.
"You know, in Finland, they use cardboard boxes as baby cribs" "Not Amazon boxes, you don't know where those have been!"
Help I'm in love my eco-friendly disaster omega and his distressed new alpha.
Why does an eco-friendly guy have so many amazon orders? He steals the empty boxes from neighbors after they put them out for recycling
Which, again: you don't know where those have been.
AITA for making my new boyfriend get actual pillows instead of strangers' amazon boxes for his nest
Alpha partner (I'm leaning enby?) takes the omega upstate to an alpaca farm to source some wool in person.
Most omegas in the city just have beds at this point, they don't bother with nests unless they are actively making a family, and who can afford that in this economy? This omega just had exceptionally strong instincts, ethics, and lack of knowledge on what a proper nest should look like. He's not planning a family he's just REALLY in his feelings, and his feelings said to Nest. So he scavenged some insulation! It's cardboard.
Casually "forgetting" a hoodie at your omega boyfriend's apartment… finding it shoved around his Lone Pillow after like it's a pillowcase Which Close enough???
Fantasy equivalent of
"I am begging my new man to get a pillowcase. or a pillow that isn't flat as a board. Y'all there is so much oil seeped into this thing that I think there's something growing on it?
"Listen to me. Listen. There is no feeling like Clean Body Clean Jammies Clean Sheets. But for that. YOU NEED SHEETS."
"Have you heard of a mattress topper? No? Great, you're about to, we're going to IKEA."
"Girl just dump him." "No, I can fix him. Everything else about this idiot is great, I just need to make him start living like a human person."
