Snuffleupa-gay

i stay out late and am rude to bouncers

ahhh so you're shown to be capable of recognising that people's trauma can make them act irrationally and unpleasantly! you recognised it in the white man! can you also recognise it in the brown woman? no? she's mean and bitchy and uncaring? i see

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

Hey all, while we're busy normalizing women with hairy legs, hairy armpits and bushy pubes, let's also normalize women with hairy upper lips, hairy chins, hairy side burns, hairy chests, and all the other places where women are supposedly magically hair-free.

free the nipple has to make a resurgence for a number of reasons but bro look at our upcoming eternity of wet bulb temps youre smoking straight up cock if you think im keeping a shirt on when it hits 105° in new england

i think if i asked peter thiel for 500 million dollars, and told him that my business plan was to spend 499 million of that on oil futures, and the remaining 1 million ordering the entire stock of pizza, burgers, fries, shakes, jamba juices, schitzels, fucking wetzels pretzels, the whole lot, within 50 miles of the pentagon, just to see if i could blow up the pentagon pizza index enough to move global oil markets 0.2% and recoup my losses... i think that if i asked him that, in those exact words, he would give me 1 billion dollars just to see if i could do it twice. and i would try. god forgive me i would try.

#“descendents of the evil oyster man” wins the 2026 prize for “most baffling DNI”

The problem with having OCs is that sometimes you wanna read about your little guy being in situations but unfortunately he is YOUR little guy and no one is gonna put him in that situation but you. Tragic.

I know this is meant to be funny but it actually makes such a good point about how ADHD and executive dysfunction can impact people in really major ways, including financially

martin blackwood is so funny to me because he's got his whole "oooh I'm so useless and nobody wants me" complex going on meanwhile he's got like 3 different fear gods who all want his attention