your friendly neighborhood paranoid android

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

Just a day in the life of a heartbroken goth and his phonograph and his emotional support asylum patient and his emotional support asylum patient's emotional support flies.

the rumors are true: i dont feel very good

Dracula has it all! A soap opera, a gothic horror, a crime novel... what's next? Mad science? Rallying the gang to go stop a great evil?

Imagine being Phil, getting home and going “Yeah honey, the announcer from Kimmel had me come onto this game show. Yes I remembered the milk.”

Demi did such a fucking great job with the "end with gaffe" rule and wish we had gotten to see more of it omg

When the AdultBjorn came out I started cry-laughing and it never stopped. I think this is just my life now