for wheat is wheat

if we are mutuals we will be reborn into the same cicada horde

its weird they made your wallet such a classic thing to forget since oyu basically need it where youre gonna be going

settings > wound > my wound > reopen

the potion seller discourse is insane. cop walks into a chemist's lab and demands pure undiluted morphine. chemist says hey i don't make this for human consumption. cop insists repeatedly, crying, shitting himself. in no way is the potion seller in the wrong here.

No, see, he's an asshole for not giving the cop the potion to kill himself with.

See i would absolutely agree with this take but being directly responsible for killing the Knight would tarnish the Potion Seller's name across the kingdom. + the Knight is insisting he's going to die in battle anyways.

I once made a potion that kills you but the undying one drank it and lived and it ruined my reptutation so now i'm forced to weave small coats for beetle grubs. i cant complain the beetles have good money but now whenever im spotted on the street the peasants mock me and call me beetleboy

hi beetleboy LOL hows your beetles. loser

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

you start to understand why they invented the bed

Yes, this is my circus, those are my monkeys, and yes I deliberately gave them those flamethrowers.

“besides, I have a sister.” top contender for one liner that makes me so emotional