Meandering fecklessly through the universe

This is literally how you actually improve ADHD symptoms btw

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

A small price to pay for mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika

Lol this made me laugh so much. I want it on repeat this Christmas.

It isn’t a proper holiday season until you hear this.

Being a henchman suuuucks dude. This latest guy I'm working for, the War-Madillo, he's got a, an Armadillo- motif, or theme, or whatever, right? That's fine, fine, I did a two-month stint with a Marmoset-themed guy once, it's not bottom of the barrel- except. Except. It turns out, he picked the Armadillo thing because he thinks that they're obligate carnivores. Which they kind of are, I mean I googled this, they're insectivores, but he thinks that they're like, land piranhas. He thinks they work in packs to take down significantly larger animals. He thinks they lay eggs in the remains of their prey. He's killed like three guys for trying to correct him. Me and the other guys are paying out of pocket to get the poor little guys in his Armadillo pit food that they can actually eat. Every time he drops some sucker into that thing we all have to draw straws to see who's gonna have to go in and gnaw on the body so he thinks the Armadillos are doing it. Thank god it's such a long drop

382752488261 unique posts remain

listen, man, I don't appreciate this kind of pressure. I'm posting as often as I can. I spent this morning shoving store-bought eggs down a dead guy's throat. Some of us have jobs, man

this will be the year I finally convince everyone to abandon New Year's resolutions in favour of Yule Boasting, the clearly superior tradition

allow me to explain. Yule boasting is an old Norse tradition of getting shitfaced at the winter solstice feast and standing up to proclaim all the great, infamous, and wildly improbable deeds you will perform in the coming year. can range from an unlikely but technically possible claim, like "I'm going to rob 300 banks", to something you'd have to bend the laws of the universe to actually accomplish, like "I'm going to punch a god in the dick and steal his horse". these are not plans. they're not even goals. they're the things you'd do in a self-insert superhero fanfic. and honestly all I want this holiday season is for a bunch of friends to go all in on this nonsense with me and hype ourselves up in ways previously unimaginable

You say something really weird to the headless horseman and in response he just stares at you fully maintaining eye contact as he grabs a second pumpkin out of one of his saddlebags and carves a confused/mildly offended face onto it and then replaces the first pumpkin head that's been staring at you the whole time with it

…Oh, so by “gay”, you mean. Actually gay.

I don’t usually reblog stuff like this but tbh this is the kind of content I live for.

Happy Pride Month!

The whole photo is gold but I especially like that the automated feeder is taped to the fucking floor.

official linguistics post

I found this blog post when I was trying to find some sources for this