I'm sad

three person poly relationship made up of two people who are already dating trying to coax someone with horrific self worth issues into a loving relationship. stray cat style

they’re all laying together in bed and the couple are both thinking to themselves like good, he stayed the night to cuddle and talk when we offered, he should know that we genuinely care for him and want this to be more then a handful of one night stands. and the stray cat guy is like wow this sure is nice i think i’m falling in love with them. it’s really too bad that they don’t actually give a fuck and hate me and probably want to kill me with hammers for no reason

there’s something to the concept of inventing a genre of fanfiction entirely about what if gay men experienced severe reproductive coercion and hyper-restrictive misogynistic gender roles related to pregnancy (werewolves also there sometimes) (important) and it being written predominately by women and genderqueer people. but I don’t know what it is so I just have to rotate it around like a jewel to examine all the facets in the sunlight

Everyone makes fun of the millennial overpriced burger restaurants but the worst part is that they got you hooked on some bullshit and promptly shut down because their polycule broke up or whatever. You’ll never get to eat the caramelized onion apple parmesan sex bomb burger again. And it was $23 and good.

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

I love how Shinichi's standard of upholding the laws of any country are completely dependent on the situation he is in. Breaking and entering? Completely okay if it is in the pursuit of the only One Truth. Eavesdropping? He doesn't understand why it was illegal to begin with. Privacy is a delusion when it comes to detectives. Drugging people? Absolutely okay. Who cares if they might end up questioning their sanity as a result of Shinichi drugging them? It was for the only One Truth. Theft? It's okay if it was for the Greater Good. Identity theft? Normal for him. Underage literally anything? He's trained for it all in Hawaii. Using guns? Also okay because he's using it on the Bad Guys. To disarm of course, never to kill. Kicking deadly soccer balls at people? It wasn't a crime to begin with. I just love how weird Shinichi is. He can be cool but we know we love him because he is such a loser. Intelligent loser but still a loser. Endearingly so.

There is no greater bond on this earth than when you all despise and carry untold righteous anger about one person and then when you’re all together someone is like “so about that dead horse” and everyone starts sounding like Michael Jackson with the way they’re chanting beat it

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

Something so funny about rereading one's own unfinished fics. Like wow this is pretty good! Almost as if was written exactly according to what I personally like in fact! Someone should finish it!

"Kaito Kid Never harms anyone in his heists" is still the funniest takes that the dcmk fandom has adopted. Theres literally a case where Kaito tased Conan so hard he PASSED OUT.

GOT IN.

"why is this person drawing sexualized art of hatsune miku, isn't hatsune miku canonically 16?" hatsune miku is a voice bank. she's pretty much an electronic piano that goes Oo Ee Oo. hatsune miku is not a person with a life. nobody is doing CSAM of hatsune miku, because hatsune miku is not a C you can do M featuring SA about. that's a glorified slide whistle on the compyooter. you cannot psychologically abuse a theremin. it's generally agreed to be impossible to traumatize a harmonica. hatsune miku is a nonsapient synthesizer software addon. you can't do child abuse to a nonsapient synthesizer software addon. you cannot. do. child abuse. to a nonsapient. synthesizer. software addon. hello hello hello can anyone hear me

do you understand that drawing a picture of a cartoon software mascot in a swimsuit is a different type of action from abusing a child. that's not the same kind of thing. those are two different types of action. there is no connection between those actions. if someone draws a boob that person is not now guilty of assaulting a minor. do you understand. do you understand. do you understand. do you understand.

i understand, why are they drawing it though? it's still kinda weird

why should I give a fuck. who cares