bunny dyke

leorio: the other…? (sighs) the other… gay zodiac? 

ging: (nods)

leorio: sure. yeah. kurapika? (waves kurapika over) 

kurapika: (sighs) already not enjoying whatever this is

ging: (very seriously) i just wanted you both to know…. last night at my home? i watched brokeback mountain

kurapika: …………….

leorio: …………o-oh! 

ging: i didnt like it! but i watched it.

leorio: ……………thank you? 

ging: (sticks his hand out to shake) 

leorio: …….

kurapika: (awkwardly shaking it) thank you for your… service

leorio: youre a true ally… we’ll see you at pride! 

forever thinking about their reunion….

Bartender: are you sure you should be drinking

Leorio: growing up I was so poor I was covered in dirt all the time and my childhood friend dropped dead of a curable illness right in front of me and now my ex is trying to clown himself to death

Leorio, brow creased, hunched worriedly over his 2010 BlackBerry Bold 9650 equipped with unlimited texting, internet access, and nen power: I’m just—oh, Alluka, it’s you. Well it’s really nothing that you should be worrying about. No, I won’t bother you with this.

Alluka: oh okay. So me and Nanika were wondering if

Leorio: [interrupting] it’s just…it’s just Kurapika. It’s just—oh, sorry, I shouldn’t talk to you about this you’re like fifteen. I really shouldn’t, go on.

Alluka:

Leorio: really.

Alluka: okay…so, it’s almost Miss Mito’s birthday and we were planning to do something for her! Like a surprise party on whale island! And Gon wanted to do something smallish but brother said we should make it BIG, like, she’s gonna be thirty, the big 3-0, and they were arguing over it and

Leorio: wait he saw my text he read it I told him to call me back when he can. Do you think he’ll call me. It’s just that as his friend I am deeply concerned about him and I really need to hear his voice and, it’s just,

Alluka: Leorio I really need your advice as an old person. Please.

Leorio: sorry sorry Alluka of course. Well I think that you should consider what Mito herself would want. Does Killua just want an excuse to throw another big party? Because personally I think he made Zushi’s sweet sixteen all about—you know what he isn’t typing at all should I just call him. [clutches blackberry in hand] God I should just—huh?

Nanika, tugging his sleeve: Leorio

Leorio, softening, patting her head: yes nanika what is it

leorio, hearing the slap slap slap of gons muddy feet on the tiles, knowing he has something he shouldnt without turning around: stop! what do you have?

gon, slowing to halt but not turning to face him yet, a muffled ribbit coming from his tiny clasped hands: ………..nothing………………….

leorio, sighing deeply as he sets the mixing bowl down on the counter so he can fully face gon and give him a Stern But Caring Look: gon. do you have a frog?

killua and alluka and nanika are traveling all over the world. they reach a nice town but are very lost because they’re literally like. middle schoolers. they go to a street market and they see a stand that’s selling guavas fresh tangerines and little dolls that look like the beads in alluka/nanikas hair. nanika immediately goes to it and killua buys two because he’s a very good brother and asks the lady if she made the dolls herself and she says actually my daughter made them she has a real knack for things like these :) we’re selling them to raise enough money so that my baby can travel the world it’s her only wish and alluka is like hey. i felt that. onii chan and i have tons of money and killua is like alluka. alluka shh. but alluka asks do you know where she is and the lady is like i think she’s over by the bakery stand and killua’s like A BAKERY STAND? and obviously they rush over there and see that the daughter is around killua’s age and she-