y’ello!

This is what he did after I finally got him the paraglider:

- caught two horses, one named after me, and the other named Turd.

- after insisting he wasn’t interested in the story, kept asking if Zelda and Link get married, if Zelda and Link kiss, if Zelda and Link are boyfriend and girlfriend, etc etc. Eight year old Zelink shipper.

It's one of two things:

1. It's deliberate infantilization of disabled people.

or 2. The puritanical impulses of American society are SO Fucking Off the Goddamn Walls at this point that most able bodied people can't recognize the cognitive dissonance of a film saying fuck but not letting the same exact adult audience read the word fuck.

a neophallus can get erect with an implant (this will either be a bendable rod or a device that inflates with saline at the press of a button, usually in the testicles)

both can feel sexual pleasure and experience orgasm

most neovaginas will be able to tolerate larger insertions with enough dilating/training

the nerves in neophalluses take a while to regrow but it is incredibly rare to experience no sexual nerve growth

both can look and feel "normal" if that's what you want, just take good care of your scars and look at your surgeons' results portfolio (and don't be afraid to be picky! its your genitals, you get to decide!)

in fact it's possible for many people to stealth and for their sexual partners to never know. even for phallo, some people with natal penises have erectile implants too, ED is common. neocaginas are often indistinguishable from natal vaginas

many surgeons are starting to offer preservation options for patients who want a more mixed look/don't want to lose what they have

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

This man has eight of the same shirt and five of the same hoodie. This man memorizes hockey stats for fun. This man will have a cold ginger ale. This man will look awkwardly at the camera with a smile like he wants to incinerate himself in every wet t-shirt contest sports drink ad his mom books for him. This man will take everything you say absolutely literally. That’s French, Ilya. You just said a French word and we’re talking about Russian, are you unfamiliar with your own language. This man takes three days to recognize a social cue. And ten years to name an emotion. You’ll tell him you like him in the most roundabout way and you’ll think you NAILED it, and he’ll promptly have a panic attack on your dick. When he names that emotion finally? He’ll be absolutely relentless and will not stand down; he’s had an emotion and he knows you have one, too. By that point, there’s no escape. He’s imprinted on you and is starting to ovulate in your vicinity. He will bludgeon you with adorable nerd and insatiable ass. And his oral fixation is so mighty he’ll suck your remaining brain cells out through your dick.

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

…relic…