The Perks Of Being A Fangirl

@Naila_Ayad tweets, with a photograph of Jerusalem, that "the olive trees still speak Arabic" in her claim that Jews are thieving invaders:

They steal the land, rewrite the maps, and rename the cities, but the olive trees still speak Arabic.

Haviv Rettig Gur replies:

This is incorrect. Olive trees pretty clearly don't speak Arabic. Some of the oldest ones, such as those in the Garden of Gethsemane, are believed by scientists to have already been centuries old when Arabic arrived here. They may have met Jesus. Literally. So obviously the olive trees speak Aramaic, though the oldest of the old may yet remember a Hebrew they learned from their parents. But you can have my favorite tree, dear Palestinian nationalists, the terebinths, elah in Hebrew. They have shorter memories, as trees go. They surely speak Arabic. The Judas trees, of course, speak Byzantine Greek, like the church that loves them; the Aleppo pines speak Assyrian; the acacias of the south surely remember old Coptic. And the Judean date palms? Unquestionably modern Hebrew, like their Israeli parents who brought them back from extinction using 2,000-year-old seeds. I know what you're thinking, dear reader: What about the sycamore figs? Tell us about the sycamore figs, Haviv! No. We don't talk about the sycamore figs. Not since they decided to go off and learn English so they could chat up those sexy young American calimyrnas. Figs got no respect for tradition. Or in other words, grow up, dear Palestinian nationalists. Stop futzing around with two-bit poetry. This veneer of cheap romance doesn't make your dream of erasing my people less evil. My kids know every stone and every valley in their country. They've run barefoot through its riverbeds and climbed its mountains. We have no other land, which is the main reason your aspiration to forcibly remove, through expulsion or death, all the millions of us hasn't worked yet.

And "renamed the cities?" Come on. You know the Arabs renamed the cities, right? You are aware that Lod was Lod before it was Lydda, no? Look it up. And Bet Shean was Bet Shean before it was Beisan. Tzfat before it was Safad. Nablus, taken from the Roman-renamed Neapolis, was Shchem first. And Al-Khalil, "the companion," a Muslim honorific for Abraham, was called Hevron by Abraham himself. Yaffa was Yafo first and Akka was originally Akko. You get the idea. That doesn't prove we're right and you're wrong. I have no proof or argument or desire to claim that you shouldn't exist. I wish that was true in reverse. Arab culture prides itself on its poetic tradition. When Arab ideologues want to claim greater authenticity or morality than their enemies, they often turn to this tradition to do so. So when the supporters of Palestinians reach out to the world and ask the world to erase the Jewish polity, they do it through this kind of poetry. "The olive trees still speak Arabic," and such. But beautiful words do not make ugly things prettier. No lipstick ever put on any pig has been more "lipstick on a pig" than this Arab discourse. It's not that complicated. The Palestinians aren't leaving, but neither are the Jews. And the Jews have a story as poetic as any other, and as old as Western civilization itself. The Jews even have a few assholes who try to cover for their bad desires by spreading thick layers of old poetry on top of them, just like you guys! If that's not a mark of authenticity, I don't know what is. Grow up. Trees don't talk, not even metaphorically. And if they did, it wouldn't be in the service of your hateful fantasies.

Bless you, Haviv - and thank you. You're funny, you're honest, you're supported by facts, and you're delightful.

This is the energy we should all be sharing.

Their attempts to dishonestly reverse the colonized and the colonizer should be not just opposed and disputed, but mocked with facts, truth, and humor.

Comment from josenros reading: As long as you say the blessing first. Probably shehechiyanu for you losers.

We are not pro-Trump, but if he helps us get rid of this regime, Iranian people will stand by him. If any other country had helped us remove this regime, we would have appreciated that too, but no one did. So I think it’s important to listen to what Iranian people actually want ❤️

Most Iranians currently inside Iran have told their friends and relatives abroad that, God forbid, if they die during this war, the reason is the Islamic Republic, not the USA or Israel. I understand that non-Iranians have the right to feel bad about this war. That’s normal. Wars are scary. I’m worried about my family inside Iran too. But I know many of them are relieved that this is happening, because living under the Islamic Republic has been worse.

Non-Iranians don’t understand what it feels like to live under this brutal regime. For 47 years, they have killed, executed, tortured, and raped Iranian people. It’s time for them to be gone. My people tried to do this on their own. They went to the streets and were met with guns. The result was massacre. So many believe we have no choice but to ask for help from other countries to remove the Islamic Republic so Iran can finally be free, so the blood of the children, men, and women who fought for freedom will not be in vain.

We are not pro-Trump or pro-Israel. If, for example, a country like Finland had said they would help remove this regime and free Iranian people, we would have supported Finland too. This is not about supporting a country. It’s about supporting freedom.

Jewish Vampire Folklore 🐈‍⬛🩶

While most people think of Dracula when they hear the word vampire, Jewish mythology tells a much older and more mystical story about a creature called the estrie in English or striyas in Hebrew. These beings are fascinating because they occupy a strange space in Jewish mysticism as they were said to be created during the twilight hours just before the very first Shabbat. Because they were made in that liminal space between the mundane week and the holy day, their bodies were never fully finished and left them with the ability to shapeshift and change their form.

An estrie is described as a female spirit who looks like a human woman and lives among people in towns or villages to satisfy her need for blood. But unlike the vampires we see in movies, her power is deeply connected to her hair. Folklore says she can only fly when her hair is completely unbound and loose. If she wants to take flight to hunt or escape, she must let her hair down, but this also becomes her vulnerability. If you can manage to bind her hair or cover it, she is instantly grounded and can no longer use her powers of flight.

These shapeshifters are masters of disguise and often take the form of night creatures to move around unnoticed. It is common in these legends for an estrie to transform into an owl so she can watch from the trees or swoop down in the night. Other stories describe her taking the form of a cat to walk silently through a home or village without drawing any attention to herself.

There is a very specific way to heal or disarm them that speaks to the ancient Jewish value of hospitality. If an estrie is injured by a human, she can only be healed if that same person gives her bread and salt. This creates a powerful spiritual bond between the injurer and the vampire because offering bread and salt is a sign of sustaining life and welcoming a guest. By accepting this food, she is bound to the person and her injury is repaired.

It’s a beautiful and eerie reminder that Jewish folklore is full of mysterious creatures that walk the line between the physical and spiritual worlds. Shabbat Shalom 🧿✨

The Jewish Family Services organization that gave me grants and interest free loans (I received my loans from 2015-2019 and am just $700 shy of paying it back as of this month )… were also mostly open to goyim. You can turn to us for help. We’re here, doing the damn “mutual aid” you’re searching for.