SWEATER LORD

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

Watch out boys we got a city slicker

the important thing to remember about preserving the integrity of the timeline is to just have fun and be yourself

(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN

For more information search for "Star Trek Rule 34"

can you imagine if your biggest legal culpability was that you got no game? three out of three lawyers agree on this and one of them is your own personal legal representative

don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. unless of course you are summoning the ghost of a legendary swordsman who can deflect bullets with his blade and help exorcise the gunwoman from your river bubble. then it is appropriate

okay huge shoutout to our not jewish belovèd who was messaging someone jewish and wrote "RIP me" but then changed it to "may my memory be a blessing" - this is genius and we think it needs to catch on

i am going to add this to my "drama monarch" file cabinet of gender neutral yet still hilarious changes to phrases, as it feels like it lives in the same world.