I'll be crashing out over things that don't even matter and then I think about how lucky I am anyways. Amazing friends. Family that keeps in touch. A niece and nephew I get to see every other week. I have a godchild now??? I volunteer and the girls I assist are always telling me how appreciative they are and actually show it. Friends asking me to be a logical mediator for them out of anyone else? Like why am I so ungrateful? I am attending TRIVIA at a coffee bar I frequent and they said I'm a part of the trivia questions because I'm a valued regular? My wife and I are connecting with a partner? Friends are regularly asking me out for drinks and socialization? I think the world and the energy I endured was because all these good things are to come and why the fuck don't I ever remember that?
I'm floored at the amount of good I have all around me and I can recognize that. But why is it that I still care about and put energy into literally anyone who doesn't have space for me in their life? I straight up deleted like 5 people from having access to me these past 6 months. And the weight I feel lifted and the lessening of self depreciating thoughts are just dissolving. Exhausted but fulfilled.
Sorry for the rant but... I am grateful. I have a business venture that I feel is about to take off with support of my community and circle and I'm just ecstatic about what is coming up. I just need the good energy to stay with me and maybe some electroshock therapy will help me get over everything else idk !!
Sending this into the void. Love always
baratheonpilled
jbbartram-illu
izzy806
dededos
