Pallas's cat aka Manul

it's actually so funny that all you need to do as a female athlete to be immediately disqualified is being good, because everyone knows women suck ass at everything and if a woman is good at something that's unnatural. hashtag feminism hashtag protect women.

pride month is almost over I would just like to say happy pride to boring LGBTQ people in particular. everyone expects us to be brilliant creatives and scientists and interior decorators and quirky professors and tortured artists but some of us wear nothing but Kirkland Signature clothing and watch Friends and The Office and are incapable of having an interesting conversation and that is okay. our diversity is our strength.

talking to a very boring LGBTQ person once in a while is so refreshing, you’re like “Whoa! You’re so average and normal! You’re like a coworker at an office job! The only thing we have in common is our LGBTQ identity and that is beautiful!”

“They tell us we’re born to suffer but you were obviously born to maintain the lawn outside of your suburban home. Very sweet.”

ghosts who are trying to warn you. ghosts who are a cautionary tale. ghosts who see you walking into the maw that chewed them to bits, and try to divert you, try to make you understand. ghosts who are trying to tell you something, who are begging you not to end up like them, an unliving prophecy begging not to be self-fulfilled

when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

saturday night when you’re in the spot did you not hear bruno

I don’t believe you.

just watch

lmfao I just saw zohran doing the inaugural swim in a full suit and tie, the schtick genuinely gets funnier the more he does it. My only complaint is should have worn swim trunks OVER the suit

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

big fan of telling people "have fun" when they say theyre going to the restroom

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer