those flowers from that boring poem that you like

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

Fouling in the MLH takes a steep decline the first year Shane & Ilya play together on the Centaurs, and they’re a bit confused why all their regular season games have been relatively un-physical. Then in one game against Toronto, some idiot (probably Dallas Kent) crosschecks Luca, and the Centaurs activate the Hollanov Power Play Special they’ve been training for all season and Toronto is swiftly, instantly, and absolutely fucked. Suddenly it becomes very clear why every team in the league is on their best behavior against Ottawa: because against Shane and Ilya’s power play, a foul will almost always cost you a fucking goal. That’s how insane their power play percentage is, and all the other teams can do is never give them a reason to be on the ice together. (Personally, the other Centaurs love this and go out of their way to draw fouls, just to see the immediate horror on the other team’s faces)

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

‘capitalism works’ factoid actually untrue. the 62 people who own half the world’s wealth are outliers and should be eaten.

62 8

Absolutely nuts how they made up a number for this satire post and the correction is that reality is *more absurd* than the number they chose

no i’m afraid it’s even worse than that. 62 was correct in 2016 when the original post was made.

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

someone please hit me over the head with this post every day for like the next week thanks. a mention, a reblog with text, a message, something.

And we call these "Ampelmännchen" ("traffic lights little man").

omg that's amazing! I wanna visit Germany just to take pictures of all the cute traffic lights.

My favorite trope is “janitor in headphones continues cleaning through extreme action”

I’ve been the janitor in headphones and trust me it’s an act we just don’t wanna be involved in the nonsense

London mutuals what is there to do that’s cheap and not alcohol based?

bongs at croydon

there’s a bloke at clappham common who will suck your dick for £4.50 hell even play with your balls for an extra quid

I have 0 desire to meet you let alone give you money

£3.50?