wheres that post that said shane hollander would be mentioned by name in a drake song
all my bitches come in threes like a hat trick
like the metros, hollander on the mattress
(yuna hollander on voicemail) hey sweetie its mom. sorry i missed you. though its 8:30 and you should be home by now. anyways give me a call back when you can. theres this guy Drake that just mentioned you in his new song. seems like a pretty big deal, canadian too. just take a listen to it when you get a chance. nothing bad. i actually think it could be quite good for your image. im trying to get in touch with his manager to see if he’ll let you be in the music video. unless youd rather send a cease and desist in which case i’ve got patty on speed dial if thats the route youd rather go. your father says hi. anyways, love you. call me back. bye.
you know when you have a crush and just the mention of their name in passing causes your dopamine to spike? that’s ilya every time he hears this song. and because it’s Drake and it’s the 2010s, it would be INESCAPABLE. like: ilya’s stuck in traffic, inching one of his sports cars down Storrow, and it’s on the radio. he’s doing his warmup stretches and it’s playing over the arena speakers. he’s in the club, seconds from picking up a girl, and suddenly shane’s name is in his ear.
refer to: the closeup of shane when ilya is the first to win the cup. he’s simultaneously thrilled and jealous. that’s ilya when he hears “hollander on the mattress”. because on one hand, he’d be annoyed shane got name dropped by freaking Drake while being too boring to appreciate it. but also, ilya’s lizard brain hears that lyric and KNOWS what hollander really does on the mattress. and ilya WANTS. it’s a recurring involuntary reminder that the world “knows” shane hollander, but no one knows he’s fucking ilya rozanov.
