Beenis' Blog

i'm not sure if i actually ovulate or not because i don't bleed, but i do know that progesterone isn't a reliable form of birth control, so i can only assume that i'm still going through a cycle of some sort with mood swings, horniness (obviously), acne flare-ups, etc. just minus the endless bleeding and debilitating cramps.

nobody in their right mind would look at me and think "girl" btw. "a girl doesn't need boobs to be a girl" and "if someone dresses masc, has no boobs, short hair, and a deeper voice than any cis woman would typically have, and plenty of body hair, they PROBABLY (key word here) don't identify with womanhood/femininity very much" are concepts that can, do, and must coexist because i literally can't get gendered correctly in this stupid fucking state and i'm leaving in a week but it's endlessly frustrating to feel like i'm trying to manufacture a persona and suppress my true self just to be masculine enough for people to stop fucking misgendering me. my shoulders are also massive compared to my hips, so by transphobes' standards, i could be reverse transvestigated or some shit for looking "too male" before taking testosterone.

i'm just so. fucking. tired. i deserve to be regarded as a human being and addressed how i want. if i presented femininely, i'd understand oblivious cis people misgendering me, but i don't. i look like their idea of a "boy", or at least androgynous enough to confuse them. it's like they've decided that they should just default to she/her pronouns when they can't figure someone out from their appearance instead of just asking the fucking person in front of them what their pronouns are.

like, is pinterest currently targeting vocal queer people?? because i don't even post on there but i do comment on content others have posted and i'm not afraid to correct hateful behaviour or rhetoric.

i've spent years cultivating my pinterest boards and it's extremely upsetting to me that i've been fucked over by pinterest and given zero explanation. someone please tell me what to do. i need to know that i can retrieve my account somehow because if i can't i don't know what i'll do. i've saved so much important information, so many niche art references, so many things i had to dig DEEP to find... and if that's all gone forever i don't know what i'll do.