the stars shine bright

That’s one of the many advantages of fisting for people who enjoy being penetrated: unlike a cylindrical phallus, it requires patience and finesse to get the considerably bumpier shape of a hand inside. It’s easier for most penises to slip into most vaginas or rectums, but “easy” doesn’t necessarily translate to “more pleasurable” for anyone involved. Fisting emphasizes what the fistee wants and needs in order to relax and open, which changes the act of penetration from “let’s get this done” to “let’s take our time.” It’s not that it always requires hours of tantric foreplay: I’ve seen people swallow hands in a matter of minutes. But fisting tops and bottoms do need to be attuned to each other more than in any other kind of intercourse.

Adamczak mentions fisting several times in her piece (“a closed hand around a dildo, of lips around a foot, of a vagina stretched over a fist”). To my mind, getting fisted is the ultimate act of circlusion, even if the term itself refers to the penetrating body part. Fisting necessitates communication, patience, finesse, embodied listening, and active breathwork. This may go some way toward explaining why fisters tend to enter a meditative, trance-like state. Fisting requires intentional engagement from the bottom, because in order to take a fist you really have to breathe deeply, to communicate about slowing down or wanting more, to reach for the poppers, to ask for the lube. And these are all things bottoms could be doing all the time, but fisting takes us out of our assumptions that the bottom is there to satisfy the top’s lust, to simply take it. A fistee must be a size queen, someone who loves to be filled up with something massive. Opening to a fist is a trust fall for everyone involved. When your hand is deep inside someone, you can feel their heart beating back against you. Sometimes when I’m up to my wrist in an aroused, engorged bottom, watching and feeling and listening to and smelling a partner so aroused they’re thrashing and bearing down and grasping back and contracting over and over, I think: Why would you fuck a hole that isn’t turned on? Sure, I take pride in turning people on and driving them insane with ecstasy, but fucking an engorged hole is just more fun, like bouncing on a trampoline or being tossed into the air by a taut parachute, with all the verve that inspires.

It’s not just penises that enjoy being circluded either. Clit heads respond to pressing and smashing and mashing, especially once they’ve been teased into arousal. The suction of a mouth or pump toy vacuum sealed around the vulva can create the feeling that your junk is swollen enough to put inside of something or someone. “What matters is not what parts a body possesses, but rather, which parts are put into action,” concludes Adamczak, and this is a queer manifesto bigger than circlusion, bigger even than fisting. When we reinvent and remap our anatomy for the purpose of pleasure, we leave behind inherited anxiety and shame around what our bodies are capable of, opening wide to engulf the future.”]

The best girl

Here's my Bloom fanart! 🔥

I love imagining her hair as if it were made of fire itself >:3

finally! proof my art is innately virtuous in at least one way

finally! a perceived theft of which i am invisibly the victim

As a subby, bottomy type, you don’t actually have to script out every little action that your Dom takes. But you do need to develop a sense of your own sexual tastes, what you enjoy and what squicks you out and which activities your body takes the most kindly to.

Do you need warming up before you can be penetrated?

What positions are easiest on your neck, your throat, your hips, your lower back?

Do you love providing sexual service, or is it performing chores that really gets you going?

How do you like being spoken to while you are in subby mode, or do you not want to be addressed at all?

Understanding what you like and how your body responds isn’t the same thing as topping from the bottom, it’s just being a remotely present partner, and your Doms will appreciate you for giving them some vision to work with. You can, if you like, create a ‘user manual’ for the people you want to use you.

If you are inexperienced, the best way to start is by looking at tons of porn — videos, animated gifs, erotic stories, fan art, jerk-off-instruction audios, OnlyFans content, whatever. Simply observe what gets you going, and the activities you might like to try, and save your favorites in a dedicated folder you can share with your Dom.

Pay attention, also, to the content of your masturbatory fantasies. When you think about someone “doing whatever they want” to you, what is it that they actually do? I guarantee there’s recurring themes.

Are you getting fucked in the pussy or the ass?

In the mouth?

Are you alone in a home, or getting gang-banged by a crowd at a party?

Are you being kidnapped into forced sexual service, or is your Dom a God that you are eager to serve?

Think also about how you would like being sexually “passive” to make you feel:

Do you like feeling appreciated? Empty? Dumb? Insatiable? Ignored?

In your fantasies, is the Dom cruel, care-taking, indifferent, or something else?

Do you want to walk away from the sex feeling used? Blank? Accomplished? Exhausted? Grateful?

Do you imagine yourself enjoying the sex/scene as it happens? Or do you want it to be overwhelming/painful/confusing/difficult to process?

Do you want to fight back and be conquered, or do you like being docile and obedient?

Write down some of the feelings that resonate with you, so that your future Dom knows how to play their role, and what to expect from you. This is actually a crucial part of determining sexual compatibility!

Be Direct

Once you have a good sense of what gets you going, put that language all over your hookup and dating-app profiles.

Being open & unabashed about your interests will really make your profile stand out, as most hookup app users make the mistake of being overly generic and tame in the hopes of appealing to the maximum number of people.

I speak from experience: you do not want to do that! You’ll only waste your time pretending to be something you’re not, with somebody who has no idea how to show up as themselves either! You do not have infinite messaging time! Narrow your attention down to the people who will be a good fit.

In your bios, you want to be so singularly yourself that incompatible people will see themselves out. The more information you provide about who you are and the vibe you want, the more prepared Doms will feel approaching you. You’ll also scare off the opportunists and would-be abusers who treat kink as an inroad to an easy lay.

Here are some actual bios I’ve used:

Submissive trans guy seeks Dominant type for power-dynamic-fueled sex and play. Into bondage, being given commands, training, restraints, blindfolds, gags, chains, collars, handcuffs, and more. No vanilla, sorry. Highly submissive, seeking Dominants only. I like being told what to do and used for another person’s satisfaction. No pleasure tops, no cunnilingus; I want the focus to be on being good and obedient for you. Big fan of being praised and snuggled with. In the past few years, I’ve mostly stuck to casual BDSM encounters on apps like Grindr. Now I’m searching for a more intense emotional connection with the possibility of long-term commitment. I am non-monogamous but not polyamorous, and pretty much exclusively submissive.

Don’t be afraid to be selfish and specific. You should have some skills and exciting interests to offer to a partner, yes, but remember that your submission is part of the gift! Good Dominants will want to understand what gets you relaxed into a more submissive headspace, where the boundaries of the fantasy are for you, and how they can play around inside it.

ehasz then went out to put out 'the dragon prince' for netflix which was not a show i was crazy about but i think i feel pretty confident in calling it better than legend of korra.

now what's also notable about this situation is that ehazs is a notorious enough misogynist to have a section of his wikipedia page devoted to his alleged professional mistreatment of women

elizabeth on the other hand has absolutely no presence online whatsoever. ATLA is her only writing credit. She wrote eight episodes of the show including Zuko Alone, The Avatar and the Fire Lord, and The Southern Raiders. She and aaron are now also divorced.

Now, if you know anything about how misogynist male creatives working in the same field as their wives operate, then you can probably reach the same conclusion I have. If a man is willing to treat female coworkers like his nanny and assistant as a baseline, imagine what he feels entitled to expect from a female coworker that is also his wife. I would not be surprised if much of the work on ATLA that ehasz was able to build his career off of would not have been nearly as good without a lot of behind the scenes assistance from elizabeth.