Check Pinned For Yesmin's Fundraiser

something they never told me about adulthood: mimic keys will attach themselves to your keychain in the hopes you use them and they can have sex with your keyholes

superbat is a bad ship name. it should be manman

pomni isn't a woman, women are pomni

women☝️ are clowns

i get a $250 million production budget to adapt beowulf into a summer blockbuster and at the end beowulf is contemplating his reign as king in his old age and the passing of time and we hear some kids say something he doesn't quite understand and he says stoically "it's as if the English i speak is becoming old..."

me þincþ hit þæt nu weorþ þis englisc eald

one annoying soft climate denial talking point is this idea that oh we're really adaptable...like yes obviously we are, the human social capacity for innovation is breathtaking, but that doesn't mean that we're infinitely adaptable. sometimes people just die, you know? And there is no historical analog to the level of climate change we're going through -- we are already outside the range of global mean temperature in which agriculture, cities, etc, have hitherto developed & existed within. Maybe we will be able to adapt to this but it's by no means a given!

another one is like "oh climate change isn't literally going to destroy the planet or lead to total human extinction" like girl there was no prospect of the world wars doing that either but they were still pretty bad? like how much likely death is needed to shift the dial here. oh it's going to kill a lot of people but not absolutely everyone everywher so it's no big deal. come on man

there is something darkly funny about hearing this stuff in the uk, a country that imports like half its food and which has spent 40 years shifting from production to "services" (tax dodging) like babygirl how sure are you that you're one of the secure populations in this situation?

oddjob getting fired and having to find a new henchman position but the joker is the only villain hiring so he has to change his name to normaljob

mark, my words. *mark brings me my dictionary* thank you mark

Now that Google is nonfunctional does anyone have tips for migranes? I've had one going on two days now and I'm about to put a skewer through my frontal lobe

brazilians, imagine you’re a famous futebol player and are about to hit the winning penalty kick at the world cup finals. accidentally, the referee tosses a christian baby at you. would you still kick the baby to the goal and win the hexa championship, and sacrifice the christian baby?

*adds something to my cart* I'm about to make an amazing digital purchase

Sorry folks I unplugged the computer those circus people lived in. No more clown, no more chattering teeth. They're all dead now. Rabbit too.

We’ve all GOTTA pitch in to put on an Amazing Digital Funeral to save the rec center!!