Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Janaina Medeiros
Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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JBB: An Artblog!
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A king who doesn't really want to and isn't able to run the kingdom properly catches wind of a noble woman who wants to kill him to take over and he realizes she is extremely competent so he decides to propose to her to save everyone the hassle and they have a surprisingly healthy relationship.
A Reasonable Proposal
King Aerlin the Third of Aelren did not like ruling.
He didnāt dislike it because of the wars, or the finances, or the elaborate diplomacy involved in placating half-drunk barons in jewel-toned doublets. No, his dislike was more fundamental. He simply wasnāt good at it.
He tried, at first. Earnestly, even. But policies blurred into parchment sludge, council meetings turned into passive-aggressive theatre, and every attempt to act ākinglyā seemed to offend someone important. The advisors whispered that he was too soft. The generals claimed he was too hesitant. The high clergy said he lacked divine conviction.
He found solace in books, wandering his sprawling library with a glass of something amber in hand, or escaping to the gardens to sketch flowers he couldnāt name. On paper, his signature was elegant. In person, he was a walking apology wrapped in a crown.
But fate, ever fond of irony, had other plans for him.
And so it was that King Aerlin learnedāwhile half-asleep at a council meeting about grain tariffsāthat Lady Mirena of Lirenthal had been overheard plotting to kill him.
ā...a subtle poison, Your Majesty,ā droned Chancellor Vallis, squinting through his bifocals. āVery clean. Allegedly undetectable. Sheās even assembled supporters, minor lords mostly. All quite impressed with her... ah, administrative acumen.ā
Aerlin blinked. āI beg your pardon?ā
āShe means to kill you, sire,ā said General Rennor cheerfully, slicing an apple with a dagger far too large for fruit. āAnd frankly, if she were aiming to win hearts and minds, sheās doing a marvelous job.ā
āWhy is no one alarmed by this?ā
āSheād be a more effective ruler,ā muttered Lady Vyne, one of his oldest council members. āYouāre sweet, Aerlin, but sweet isnāt a strategy.ā
āSheās also thirty-three and unmarried,ā added the Master of Coin. āAmbition tends to curdle when thereās no outlet.ā
Aerlin stared at them all.
āSo, let me be clear,ā he said slowly. āA noblewoman is plotting to assassinate me, and youāre all... supportive?ā
The room exchanged looks.
āSheās really very competent,ā Vallis offered weakly.
And so, that night, Aerlin read the report in full.
Lady Mirena of House Lirenthalāoriginating from a side branch of her familyāwas born to obscurity and rose like wildfire. She managed estates with uncanny efficiency, implemented fair tax schemes in her region, and had allegedly turned a struggling orphanage into a self-sustaining institution in under a year. Her public works were admired. Her speeches circulated in pamphlets. She was rumored to read three languages and had once bested a general in a game of Go in under twenty moves.
She was, in short, exactly the kind of person Aerlin wished was in charge.
He closed the dossier and sipped his wine, thinking. Killing her would be a political nightmare. Letting her kill him would beāwhile somewhat temptingānot ideal for the kingdom. Or himself.
That left one option.
Mirena was not pleased to be summoned.
She arrived at the palace flanked by two silent attendants and clad in steel-gray silk, the color of dignity under threat. Her mouth was drawn in a polite, disdainful line. She curtsied with mechanical grace.
āYour Majesty,ā she said, as though addressing a bee she hoped wouldnāt sting.
Aerlin dismissed the guards. āThank you for coming. I promise I wonāt waste your time.ā
āThen let us speak plainly,ā she replied. āYouāre aware Iāve considered removing you.ā
He appreciated her honesty. āYes. I read the report.ā
āThen I assume youāve summoned me to threaten, bribe, or execute.ā
āNone of the above.ā
That gave her pause. A tiny vertical line appeared between her brows.
āI want to propose,ā he said.
A beat.
āPropose what?ā she asked, cautiously.
āMarriage.ā
She blinked. āExcuse me?ā
āLook,ā Aerlin gestured vaguely at a chair, then sat across from her. āEveryone thinks youād make a better ruler. Theyāre not wrong. Youāre smart. Capable. Terrifying. I, meanwhile, once got lost in my own wine cellar.ā
She didnāt laugh. But the corner of her mouth twitched.
āSo why not save everyone the trouble?ā he continued. āYou want the throne. I donāt. But if you kill me, thereās a succession crisis, maybe a civil war, probably famineāā
āI have plans in place for a famine,ā she interrupted.
āI donāt doubt it,ā he said with a smile. āBut hereās a better way. Marry me. Rule as queen. Iāll stay out of your way. Iāll go to ribbon-cuttings and pretend to care about tournaments. You handle the real governance. And in return, both the kingdom and I survive and thrive.ā
Mirena stared at him.
āThis is not how power is transferred,ā she said slowly.
āNeither is assassination,ā he replied.
Silence fell. Then she said, āDo you have any idea what youāre offering?ā
āSalvation?ā he said, only half joking.
āNo. Legitimacy. Youād give your crown to a woman the nobles barely tolerate, who has no royal bloodāā
āEveryone thinks youāre from the side family. No one needs to know you were adopted.ā
Her eyes narrowed slightly.
āSo youāve done your digging.ā
āI wanted to know my potential future wife,ā he said, unashamed. āOriginally named Maeve, orphaned at six by the Frontier Crisis. Adopted at fourteen by Duchess Elen of Lirenthal because you looked and behaved remarkably regal. Youāve been hiding that ever since.ā
She looked away. āIt shouldnāt matter.ā
āI agree. But it does. So use me.ā
At that, she tilted her head. Studied him like one might study an unusually articulate frog.
āAnd what do you want out of this, truly?ā
Aerlin paused. āI want someone competent in charge. I want the kingdom to survive. I want to go back to reading poems and failing at painting. And maybe... I want someone who doesnāt look at me like Iām a failure just because I hate ruling.ā
There was another silence, but softer this time.
āYouāre ridiculous,ā she said finally.
āFrequently.ā
She stood.
āIāll consider it.ā
He didnāt expect her to say yes.
But three days later, she returned.
āI accept,ā she said simply.
The wedding was small, by royal standards. Mirena refused most of the excess and insisted the remaining budget be redirected to emergency granaries in the floodplains. The nobles grumbled, but they knew better than to challenge her now.
Publicly, the marriage was framed as a political union of stability and shared vision. Privately, the court whispered of the strange couple: the incompetent king and the ambitious queen.
They werenāt lovers. Not at first. But something like respect bloomed between them.
Mirena took to ruling like a sitsi to water. She restructured the tax system, appointed common-born clerks who proved capable, and brokered trade agreements that stunned the treasury into silence. She had little patience for flattery and even less for corruption. Several wealthy lords āretiredā mysteriously after meeting with her.
Aerlin, for his part, became something unexpected: likable. He played the part of doting husband with a warmth that felt genuine. He hosted banquets, read to children at city festivals, and insisted on planting trees in every district.
āShe rules the mind,ā he said once in an interview, āand I, the heart. It works out.ā
It did.
One evening, nearly two years into their marriage, they found themselves in the palace garden. The moon hung like a pale coin in the sky.
Mirena stood with her arms folded, watching the newly planted magnolias.
āYou know,ā Aerlin said from the bench nearby, āI used to be afraid of you.ā
āYou should still be,ā she replied, without turning.
He chuckled.
āWhy didnāt you go through with it?ā he asked after a moment. āThe assassination, I mean.ā
She looked at him then. Her amber eyes were tired, but bright.
āI almost did,ā she admitted. āBut then I reread the reports. Youāve never ordered executions. You never raised taxes on the poor. You listened more than you spoke. And...ā She hesitated. āYou left most of the heavy lifting to others.ā
āBecause I was terrible at it.ā
āBecause you were honest about being terrible at it,ā she said. āThat kind of self-awareness is rare.ā
He smiled, surprised.
āBesides,ā she added, voice dry, āI didnāt want to run a broken kingdom. Better to fix it first, then take it.ā
He laughed then, genuinely. āRomantic.ā
They sat in comfortable silence.
Eventually, Aerlin said, āI like this. Us.ā
She glanced at him.
āSo do I.ā
It wasnāt a grand love. But it was something better, perhaps. A partnership. An odd sort of love forged not from passion, but from shared purpose and trust.Ā
I luv them
Warrior Nun š
No one wants to talk about how intimate jump starting someones car is.
this is what happens when you ban normal porn

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Some fire for your Friday. š„
This years Critical NW included over 100 fire performers who, through warm hearts, even managed to summon a fire dragon from the depths of hot coals at Fire Camp.
One of my favorite events of the year, by far, I felt fortunate to be surrounded by such wonderful and talented folks.
May we meet again in the woods next year with all the new inspiration gathered from this years adventures. ā¤ļø
Photos by Hank of EspressoBuzz Photography
interlocking fingers during the pin. holding hands during the pin. is driving me insane
I donāt even go here but this is bout to make me fill out an enrollment form and show up with my lisa frank trapper keeper and pencil case.
KPOP DEMON HUNTERS (2025) dir. by Maggie Kang, Chris Appelhans
āI have like 3 big sisters kinda in Hollywood, Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones and Kathryn Hahn. The three of them who I met when I first kinda moved out to LA and started doing Parks and Rec they kinda took me under their wing. All 3 of them I just respect on so many levels.ā (x)
Date stamp: October 2021

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Iām watching The Sword in the Stone for the first time in decades and Iāve gotten to the part where Merlin is trying to get Arthur to lose his virginity to a squirrel.
Yāknow, if Merlin turned that squirrel into a human it would save Camelot a significant amount of problems down the road.
āSquirrels mate for life Arthur, so the chances of her fucking your best friend and inadvertently causing a schism that leads to the downfall of an entire utopian kingdom are completely nil!ā
Ok hopefully this is the last time I add onto this but Arthur marrying the squirrel would stop both of the events that destroyed Camelot - namely the aforementioned falling out with Lancelot AND the birth of Mordred.Ā Being with him since youth, Squirrel would keep Arthur from being seduced by his half-sister Morgause (or Morgan Le Fay in the versions of the myth that cut Morgause out) when he was young and foolish, as heād already be in a committed relationship and thus wouldnāt be able to be tricked into starting one with said half-sister.Ā No incest means no Mordred.Ā Then, as mentioned above, Squirrel would be a faithful wife, which means Guenevere would be single, which means Lancelot and Guenevere could pork each other without causing a huge row that ends with Lancelot killing dozens of his fellow knights of the round and inspiring several others to turn against Arthur out of loyalty to him.
Camelot would have been saved if Arthur just. Fucked. That. Squirrel.
You say all that but all I hear isĀ āhere is how Merlin trying to convince Arthur to become a furry could have saved the worldā
Look this was a journey for me ok?
It started as āI canāt believe Disney made a movie where Merlin tries to get a squirrel to take Arthurās virginityā and slowly became āI canāt believe Disneyās weird bestiality subplot actually solves the two biggest problems that cause Camelotās downfall.ā
Because as baffling as the squirrel fucking plotline is just on its own, the fact that itād actually be solution to the eventual problems Arthur faces - whether anyone at Disney was actually thinking about that or not (and Iām guessing not) - is even more so.Ā It is bizarre and unsettling to me that squirrel fucking could have saved Camelot, and thatās, uh, the point of this I guess.
So, pointless fun fact. Around 2008, someone on 4chan actually made a āhumanizedā version of the squirrel called āHazelā (i.e. one who had been changed to a human to be with Arthur). For a little while, there were a number of artists making pieces about her, and stories written suggesting alternate histories.
I know itās a minor point, but I still love the notion that people are still finding ways to rewrite the story so Arthur can f*@# the squirrel.
Whole gallery of pics here, because some of this artwork gets downright amazingā¦
I REMEMBER THESE!!!!
Fascinating
@tyrantisterrorĀ your legacy endures
To an ever widening group of people, I am āthat guy who ranted about Arthur fucking a squirrel.ā
Of all my legacies, this is certainly one of them.
I think Iāve posted about this before buuuuuuut fuck it? This makes me deliriously happy and sad. The resolution of Arthur becoming human and having to try to explain himself to a sobbing squirrel is one of my strongest childhood memories about having to deal with heartbreak and Iām literally fucking tearing up right now GOD DAMN YOU TYRANTIS.
Does this mean thereās an alternate version of history where Camelot never fell and Britain just always carried on its legacy.
Are you trying to tell me that in the fixed up version of the Arthur mythos the entire royal family is part squirrel?
these guys haven't seen goncharov
SINNERS (2025) ā dir. Ryan Coogler
I've loved The Blues since I was a kid, and got to see Buddy Guy perform live. I am SO damn happy he's in this movie.
Legendary Bluesman Buddy Guy on His Buzzy Movie Role in āSinnersā: āItās a Dream Come True, to Be Honest⦠I Did It to Help the Bluesā
Damn right, heās got the blues⦠and the scars to show for it. A surprise extended cameo at the end of āSinnersā [spoiler alert!] reveals that Sammie, who is played as a youth in the 1930s by Miles Caton, survived the filmās long night of terror, thanks in part to how a resonator guitar can be used as a weapon. And he has lived on in the form of someone who looks and plays very much like Buddy Guy. It is Buddy Guy, of course, still around and still arguably ā no, inarguably ā the most legendary blues guitarist walking the planet.
Variety caught up with Guy, 88, on the phone from his native Chicago, where he still plays at his club, much like the aged Sammie in āSinnersā still plays at his. Guy says, āIf I could get quite a few more people speaking like you, I might consider myself as a movie actor.ā Then, he quickly adds, āNo, thatās just a joke coming from me.ā
But before we get with Buddy, a few words from the filmās composer and music producer, Ludwig Gƶransson, who worked with Guy on his performance and on the song the bluesman plays at the end of the film, āTravelinā.ā A month before shooting, Gƶransson went out to Guyās Chicago club and got to swap not just musical ideas but tales of old bluesmen like Son House, who was one of writer-director Ryan Cooglerās inspirations for the part. Then, in New Orleans, they filmed the all-important epilogue with Guy on the very first day of the shoot.
āHe had a long day, on what was actually our productionās day zero,ā says Gƶransson. āThereās quite a lot of dialogue he has, actually, and also, there were a lot of technical things that needed to happen with Michael (B. Jordan) and Hailee (Steinfeld) with her eyes and their vampire teeth. And I was just amazed by how Buddy Guy could withstand this 12-hour workday when heās 88 years old. I was worried when we finished off with the song, because he has been doing dialogue and acting for eight, maybe 10 hours. But once we did the last scene where he is actually playing guitar, it was such a magical moment. We had a whole crew there on set, but itās like you could hear a feather drop on the ground. It was very much of a goosebump moment.ā
That last sequence has poignance for an audience, certainly, if you know who Buddy Guy is. If you donāt, it still intuitively translates, believes Gƶransson. āI was wondering, what are kids, our younger demographic, gonna think? But every time we screened the film, no one even asked, āWhoās that?ā Itās almost like, even if the people didnāt know who he was, thereās like an instant feeling that this is something else ā like, youāre seeing a magician do a magic trick.ā
Hereās our conversation with Guy, who will be out on the road this summer doing his āDamn Right Encoreā tour, including an L,A.-area date at the Cerritos Center on Aug. 10.
Did you have to sit in the makeup chair for quite a while get those scars applied?
Yeah, and I didnāt know they could do that. I was saying, āWhat the hell is this?ā when they said, āWeāre gonna make these scars on your face.ā
Movies, man⦠As a kid, I loved the Westerns, because I grew up riding horses in Louisiana on the plantation, and seeing those old cowboys like Gene Autry, playing the acoustic guitar while riding a horse⦠I canāt imagine thatās me now. Itās a dream come true, to be honest with you.
This is a long way from a singing-cowboy movie. How did you feel about being in a horror film?
I saw a little something when they was shooting it. This guy (Michael B. Jordan) comes close to me, and I didnāt know he had these vampire teeth, and they got a close-up on him when he smiled. I said, āOh my God!ā
How were you approached to do this?
Well, they came into my club here in Chicago, and I was surprised. They say, āLook, we want you to play this little part thatās called Sammie.ā And Iām saying, āWell, let me seeā⦠Because I donāt have a high school education to be reading long scripts. I did learn how to read and write. Iām like BB King: Iām not fast at it, but if you give it to me and give me time, I can memorize it. But the older you get, the less you can memorize. Whatever can help the blues stay alive, Iām all for it, and I will try anything. I said, I donāt know if Iām good enough to do that. But Iāll give it a try, and if it works, it works, and if it doesnāt, at least Iāll say I gave it a try.
You know, I donāt know too much about movies. I made one a little bit with Tommy Lee Jones about 15 years ago (2009ās mystery-thriller āIn the Electric Mistā). And when something like this comes along, I do it to help the blues.
Itās a mission, not just a profession, for you.
Thereās very few radio stations other than satellite who play blues now. And the older people I learned from is no longer with us. But when I was coming up, on the AM stations everybodyās records were being played. There was gospel, jazz and the blues, and everybody knew who the late Lightninā Hopkins was. But nowadays, man, if you donāt tell āem, they donāt know it. Theyāre like, āWho is that? Whoās Muddy Waters?ā My grandkids donāt know nothing about the blues until they hit 21 and come up in the club while Iām there, and they say, āGranddad, I didnāt know you could do that!ā So Iām 100% trying to support it so the next generation of white or Black kids can hear it and know more about the blues that was created way before the British type of (blues-rock) stuff come along and all the different types of music we have now. Muddy Waters and BB King, I knew āem before they passed away, and they told me, āMan, if you outlive me, just try to keep the blues alive.ā
So it just makes me feel good to see something that is letting people know a little more about it. Ā So when they told me I had an interview with you, I said, āYeah, Iāll take it.ā Because anything we can do to help the blues stay alive, Iām for it. Iām in for it.
This movie seems like it is going to go a long way in furthering your mission of bringing the blues alive for new generations. And you certainly do your part in it wellā¦
Thatās the part I love to hear coming from somebody else⦠when somebody says, āI think itās pretty good.ā
I remember BB King talked about how he made a record with John Lee Hooker, and he said it took one take, and John Lee just jumped up out of the chair and said, āThatās it!ā Well, I donāt say that, because I never know if I did a good job. Even when I play for a live audience now, sometimes I tell āem, āIām not the best in town, but Iām trying to be the best till the best come around.ā But I watch your face. If you got a frown on your face ā if whatever I play donāt move you ā I say to myself, āI didnāt do a good job.ā And sometimes I just do little tricky things and I see a smile, and I think, āI mustāve hit the right note.ā
You have a humility about what you do, which is surprising, after youāve been a guitar hero for so many decades.
I still know a lot of guitar players, man, that is better than me. Iām just being honest with you. Because sometimes I see young people come up now playing a lick, and Iām saying, āIāve had this guitar in my hands for 70 years. How come I couldnāt find that lick that this young kid, like Kingfish or Johnny Lang, did?ā I got it from the people that invented it, from Son House, Fred McDonald, and all those people played that music for the love of music. They wasnāt making a decent living. Some of āem had day jobs, including me. In 1967, I was driving a tow truck and playing the music here in Chicago at night.
You perform a lot at your club in Chicago, but you wrapped up your farewell tour last year, right?
No, no, no. They put that in: āfarewell tour.ā Iām having kind of a delayed farewell tour; maybe after this year I might say that. But Iām still playing some of the big festivals. Bobby Rush, Willie Nelson and me, they call us the last of the 89- and 90-year-olds thatās still out there, and thatās kind of kept me to say, āBuddy, you better go back out there and play a little more, because there aināt nobody left after you of that age thatās still standing around.ā Because BB King was in a wheelchair for maybe four or five years before he died, and Iām not on crutches yet. So I want to at least go another year.
We hope to see you when youāre out on the road.
Well, if Iām coming there, I always invite people like you in my dressing room. And I always have a shot of cognac, because Iām still nervous. Thatās the only time I take a drink: when I gotta go on the stage. I got whiskey at my house, but you couldnāt find my fingerprints on the bottle, because it never crossed my mind (to take a drink) until I gotta go to the stage. Iām like, I know I canāt please nobody, but lemme get a little shot of cognac so I can hope itāll make me feel like youāve given the best that you have.
But with or without that, you have to be confident you can still deliver for an audience.
Age takes effect on your voice, your walk, whatever you do as you get up into your 80s. And damn, Iām near 90 years old, man. You canāt do what you did when you was 25 or 26. But Iām gonna give you the best I got, and thatās all I got.
Are you able to accept that youāre a movie star right now?
I donāt make that kind of comment, that Iām a movie star⦠but every time I hear something coming from people like you, it makes the goose pimples come up on me.
"so how did you two meet"
she messaged me on tumblr and we became obsessed with each other literally immediately and now we are bound by the red string of fate
AGATHA ALL ALONG (2024) KILLING EVE (2018ā2022) THE 100 (2014ā2020)
Happy Pride!!

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Photographer Debbie Parker captured this lightning strike in West Virginia. - Author: sco-go
I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"
My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.
I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi š£ š„²
As your little brother's self-appointed tumblr-famous union bargaining negotiator (Local 42069), I think he should get one (1) sushi lunch *per* ten thousand (10,000) notes, as well as a commemorative wall hanging of some kind should one hundred thousand (100,000) notes be achieved.