hello mtv and welcome to hell

i really do believe that the answer to a lot of people's self hatred is not to try and reassure them that they are wonderful and okay and enough, but instead to remind them theyre a completely unremarkable regular ass person who is not the center of the universe or especially important so why would they expect themselves to be some superhuman savior. like there really is a kernel of out of control self importance at the heart of thinking youre an evil lazy piece of shit. because why would you expect you be anything but just like some guy. if you wouldnt expect the guy who works at the vape shop or your mailman or whatever to be able to do something then why would you expect yourself to? youre just some random ass person. its fine

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

having a cat is so miraculous. this little guy wants to sleep in my bed with me and purr on my chest. it’s his favorite hobby. no one told him to do that he just Loves His Mommy

nevermind he’s extremely naughty and has terrorized multiple people this morning

free him

certified iconic post

#send me your address so i can visit you and explain my passions

Naps are a forbidden technique, I think. If you pull them off just right you'll access a pool of near-endless rejuvenating power, but if you mess up some inscrutable part of the ritual your vitality and might will be sapped and you'll be left at the mercy of your opponents

i was a kid asking questions like "when you say to rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10 do you mean relative to what i have experienced before or what i could theoretically experience in the future because what if i say 8 and then later i get twenty billion papercuts and i realise relative to that this pain is a 1" and they would reply "just focus on what you know, you literally had your foot ran over by a ford focus" and id say "well exactly but it could have been both feet which i know would surely be worse" and it still took years to diagnose me as autistic

this is actually like my third or fourth rodeo so i sort of get it but sort of dont

in some ways worse than my first rodeo cause i feel like i should be better at it by now

you have to assume that everything i say on here is a joke unless it isnt and if youre not sure you can always ask. and i'll probably lie

Vote for me I'll bring back the dinosaurs

social contract is all fucked now, nobody wears ear buds on the train anymore and almost nobody will assassinate a politician for the greater good