Certified Dork

i have a random issue with a handful of pre-srar fall out boy songs where I LOVE the the start of the song or just generally everything but the chorus, but the chorus itself i find kind of underwhelming (eg: ilalwtwiattgyo, ttotbo, igatrimeanomf, cfmrfrpfmsr, gblogbd(dyptstsasgts)

poor thing...walked straight into the electric fence

your kink is not my kink *but your kink is okay* don't forget that part

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

white ppl with small dogs will go places u never thought possible

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

I mean i quite like my brain, i’m really very fond of it i just think it’s a design failure that i can’t pop it out of the ole skull basket every night and plug it in to recharge. travesty really

This is brainwashing propaganda

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after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

i firmly believe that if puppies could talk one of their favorite things to say would be "im a puppy!!!"

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

no one talks about how straight up painful it is to be the bigger person when deep in your soul you just want to be a huge bitch about it

They just don’t release the hounds like they used to

in my day someone just let the dogs out. never did know who.