Untitled

We Don’t See People As They Are — We See Them As We Are How projection quietly shapes our relationships, leadership, and the stories we tell ourselves about others. Have you ever noticed how two people can experience the exact same situation — and walk away with completely different interpretations? One sees disrespect. Another sees misunderstanding. One sees threat. Another sees…

  Shadow Work: Why Inner Integration Matters More Than Ever Peter Metzner “To honor and accept one’s own shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It is whole-making—and the most important experience of a lifetime.”— Robert A. Johnson Why Talk About the Shadow—Now? We live in a time of extraordinary projection. Political polarization, culture wars, online outrage, moral certainty, and public…

Beyond Projection: How Unconscious Defenses Undermine Growth and Relationships In the last post, we explored projection—the tendency to disown parts of ourselves and see them “out there” in others. In this post, we’ll look at several other common unconscious defense strategies that quietly shape our behavior, strain our relationships, and keep us from growing. At the heart of all of them is one…

  The Games We Play—and the Freedom We Avoid Unconsciously—without being aware—we often play what Eric Berne called a game. A psychological game follows a simple but costly logic: I behave in ways that provoke you to respond so I can justify how I already feel about you—or even about myself. These games allow us to avoid responsibility. If I can blame you for how I feel, I don’t have to examine…

  When the Dominoes Fall: How Hidden Triggers Shape Our Relationships and Leadership A senior executive once told me he was close to losing his job. Not because he lacked intelligence, competence, or drive. By every traditional measure, he was successful. Yet his colleagues experienced him as intimidating, impatient, and sometimes openly hostile. Even minor disagreements could trigger strong…

Change Isn’t the Problem—Losing Control Is If change were easy, self-help books would be unnecessary, therapists would be bored, and most of us would have quit our bad habits years ago. The real problem isn’t change. It’s control—or more precisely, the terror of losing it. We cling to beliefs, identities, and stories not because they are true, but because they are familiar. As Immanuel Kant…

  Ego, Awareness, and the Call to Conscious Leadership Leadership today is not failing because leaders lack intelligence or skill. It is failing because ego development has not kept pace with complexity. To understand this, we must first understand the ego. What Is the Ego — and Why Does It Matter? The ego is our constructed identity—our sense of “I.” The word ego comes from Latin, meaning…

We Are Living in a Material World — Madonna We live in a culture that quietly—and relentlessly—conditions us to believe that happiness exists outside ourselves. Society, and especially the media, trains us to look outward for fulfillment. We are encouraged to believe that the next purchase, achievement, relationship, or experience will finally bring peace, satisfaction, or a sense of…

How Do Addictions and Compulsions Happen? According to David DiSalvo in What Makes Your Brain Happy (and Why You Should Do the Opposite), our brains are equipped with a powerful reward system designed to motivate behaviors that support survival and well-being. Without this drive toward pleasure and satisfaction, human life would indeed feel flat and joyless. This system is known as the mesolimbic…

When Strengths Become Stressors: Personality Styles Under Pressure In my last post, I explored core personality styles and their defining characteristics. Most of us are not a single type, but a blend of two—sometimes more. While each of us is undeniably unique, we also share common patterns in how we work, relate to others, and respond to stress. What’s especially interesting (or ironic,…

Knocking From the Inside: Recovering Personal Authority and Meaning “I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I’ve knocked from the inside.”— Rumi There comes a moment—sometimes quietly, sometimes through crisis—when we realize the life we are living no longer fits. I’ve seen it in my own life and in countless conversations with others: a…

Where Synchronicity & Magic Happen  By Peter Metzner I once heard at a symposium: “Genius is focused passion.” To grow, to develop, and to become truly excellent at your art—your work, your craft, your leadership—is not just a career goal. It is a meaningful calling. Joseph Campbell reminds us: “Art is the making of things well. The aim of art is the perfection of the object.” And perhaps even…