joel miller apologist

I can't stress enough how badly I don't want to post this. I've been in tears all morning.

But it’s gone too far. It went too far a long time ago and frankly, I should have thrown in the towel eight months ago when this all started, but I’m officially done. I’ve stuck out months of cruelty, of stalking and harassment, of messages wishing for my death. Two weeks ago it escalated when anons began taunting my friends with mine and my fiancé’s personal information, and they’ve since shared that information, as well as photos, with the confessions blog. It’s not about my comfort anymore and sticking out the cruelty I’ve been enduring for months on end in hopes that _maybe_ things will get better. It is about our safety, which has been compromised, and it’s about my loved ones who never had any part of this blog and my writing, who do not deserve to be dragged into this. And I don’t deserve it either. I thought that by formally leaving behind the Pedro/Joel/tlou fandom the harassment would lessen, but it hasn’t. It’s clear that I cannot continue here.

While it is my choice to leave this blog behind, please understand that this is not something I’m doing willingly or happily. In many ways, I feel like this is being taken from me, and I am heartbroken that something that once brought me so much joy (and still does, sometimes) has been twisted and distorted into something so awful and insidious. I guess this is just the unfortunate consequence of what this place has become, the witch hunts the internet encourages. The confessions blog is a fantastic example of what it looks like to give into the ugliest parts of yourself and to make it the problem of everyone else. They burnt a fandom to the ground to the point that there's nothing left, and it still isn't enough for them because they are that fucking empty inside. What's laughable is that they think they're helping, right? I get called a woman who only thinks with her cunt and a woman who is just as dangerous as an abusive man for the fiction I write, but sure - take lessons in feminism from the blog that has spent months on end terrorizing a fandom full of women and queer folks. I'm rambling and this isn't new or insightful but let me just say this - if you contribute(d) to this blog and the vicious harassment of myself and other people, I hope peace never fucking finds you. I hope the guilt of what you've done to real fucking people, mind you, hits you like a fucking train and you have to live with the knowledge of the kind of person you are for the rest of your life. You've done to me and others things I would never do to another human being, ever.

I used to have hope that things would get better, but that was a long time ago. I don't know where to begin fixing what has been irreparably damaged, and I think tried for months to hold onto the shreds that I had left...I just can't anymore. I’ll still be on ao3 writing and posting. Over the next few days I’ll be sifting through this blog and migrating all of my writing over there. I really hope you follow me over there ♡

Thank you to everyone who’s made this special. There’s more of you than I can count and name ❤️ I hope to come back to this one day if things ever get better, but I can't count on that so I am kissing blog strang3lov3 goodbye. Keep being good to each other, kindness is never a waste.

MAY YOU NEVER LOSE YOUR HYPERFIXATION