Hi hi! So nice to see that you did some creative writing Toxi 💖 I hope you can connect with yourself again like that and feel that rush of creativity 🥂
I myself have had moments of ideas sparking in my head but not enough to sit down and write. Hopefully it escalates some more, but I won't pressure myself ☝🏼
Have a great day/night bb! Ily and miss you 🫂
-Moon ( @whateverloomis )
Hi, Moon! I missed you, too! I wish you all the best creative energy from the muses ✨
This week, I mentioned fic writing to my new Therapist, and y’all… she’s one of us! My homework is to write something or someone outside the norm for me. She suggested someone from call of duty, red dead redemption, or this card from her carnival oracle deck (below the cut)
She said I shouldn’t worry about knowing the character.
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The men are freaking out about their fics being gone. To calm them down, the madame is opening the gates to anyone who helps. Anyone who takes action against ICE gets to move in.
Lincoln has been toiling away for nearly three years, secretly building a log cabin for him and peaches. He JUST finished. Too bad. Now it's your cabin.
@vampirejoel and @nightwalksjoel are getting ready to welcome @ppascalrain while @lincolnjoel looks on in disbelief.
As I am not an American citizen but want to engage with your platform/unlocking fics I took it upon myself to support petitions against the expansion of ICE (https://c.org/w7SL5TRmCn) and to research/shame the companies you mentioned that support them. In that I found this super helpful account on Instagram (@cutoffthespigot) that posts alternative options to companies that support ICE (ex. Hilton)!
If you are still unlocking fics I am potentially the biggest raider!joel fan and deeply miss ‘J. Miller’ or ‘Roulette’.
Thank you for what you’re doing.
Hi, Mads! Well done! Tysm for the ask and for the action. Have both ⛓️
SUMMARY: when Joel brings you to a familiar area for a raid, you run away but get stopped by FEDRA officers with bad intentions, worse than Joel. Joel saves you.
WARNINGS: NSFW I8+ dark, violence, assault, manhandling, captivity, restraints, exhibitionism, humiliation, unsafe dubcon PIV, fingering, oral, orgasm delay, cockwarming, brief psychological torture by fedra, allusions to VERY dark fedra activity.
A/N: This is 4th in the Raider series but can be read alone. credits / shoutouts - @romanarose escape ask, touch-erase anon, rope kink anon, many others with thots & thirst. Carter is the driver!
“I'm sorry," you sob, and you really are. It's the second raid you’ve been on this week. You thought you recognized the forest behind the house, making it your best chance to escape. You don’t have anything or anyone to go home to, but you’re hungry. You’re tired. You don't sleep. Sometimes you wake up with Joel’s arms too tight around you. If you move, they tighten more and you can hardly breathe.
Those things on their own might be tolerable, but the rest of Joel's men are the real problem. That first day, Joel told you he’d make sure nothing happened to you. He made it very clear to you and everyone else that you were his and no one else could touch you. At this point you don’t always mind his touch, but you worry about what could happen to you if something happened to Joel. The guys are disgusting, and not just the ones Joel originally saved you from, as you learned at the stash house.
There are a lot, and they’re brutal with their prey. They’re not just rough, they’re mean, degrading. They know they aren’t supposed to look at you, but they still steal a hungry glance when Joel’s not watching. From what you’ve overheard them doing to their victims, your greatest fear is that Joel will die or get overthrown and you’ll be at their mercy. The day Joel first claimed you, he warned you about those men and how much worse they'd be. At this point, you've seen and heard enough to know it's true.
But even that prospect doesn't sound bad right now compared to what you just went through. You never should have run.
- - - - -
You stumbled through the woods and when you were almost to the other side, you spotted three armed men in uniform - FEDRA. You called, “Help!” You were relieved. They could get you somewhere safe. But when they turned around, it was only a couple of seconds before they aimed their rifles at you. You fell to your knees begging for help.
They laughed and talked to each other like you weren’t there.
“I dunno, she looks infected to me,” the tallest one said.
“Sure are seein’ a lot of infected this week,” another said and elbowed the tall guy in the ribs.
The apparent leader of the pack ordered the men to take your clothes off. They stripped you of everything, even your underwear, and felt you up while they were at it. One of them stuck a finger in you. Then, the leader put a single bullet in a revolver, spun the cylinder, handed it to the tall one, and said “your turn.”
"Already? C'mon, I don't wanna fuck another dead girl."
“At least they can’t scratch you up kickin’ and screamin’,” the leader said.
“Yeah, so what’s the point?” the third one said. “That’s half the fun.”
"Better say a prayer then," the leader said. "Go on," he urged.
The man put the muzzle to your temple and your life flashed before your eyes. He pulled the trigger and the click made you wince. You kept your eyes pinched shut and when you slowly opened them, you could hardly believe you were alive.
Leaves crunched behind you in the woods. "ANIMALS, all of you," Joel boomed, and you turned around to see him with his rifle aimed at the men.
"Get down and cover your ears, baby." Joel didn’t even look at you.
Without so much as blinking, he shot the leader right in the forehead, then kept walking toward them. Shot another one like it was the easiest thing he had ever done. Not even a flinch.
Meanwhile, the tall one, the one with the revolver, charged straight at him but Joel still didn’t flinch. He calmly used the butt of his rifle to strike him square in the face. When the man fell to the ground, Joel straddled him and pummeled his face.
Still straddling the man, Joel asked you what they did to you. You told him about the revolver first. Joel took it from the man, spun the cylinder, then held it out for you, but you didn't take it. You were cowering naked on the ground. “Go ahead,” Joel said. The man pleaded for his life. You hesitated, and Joel said “Now,” firmly. You crawled closer, took the revolver, aimed, and pulled the trigger. The man screamed and winced, but the gun only clicked. Joel took it back, spun it again, and handed it back to you. “Again.” That time, you shot the man in the chest and the recoil sent you back on your ass. It wasn’t a kill shot. The man tried to speak but could only gurgle. Blood spilled out of his mouth. Your face went cold and you were shaking.
Joel made sure the man was disarmed, then came over and started putting your shirt back on you.
"Is that what you want? Shared and slaughtered by those pigs?” He motioned to the three men on the ground. You started crying, still sprawled on the dirt
- - - - -
Joel puts his rifle around his back, squats down, grabs you by both elbows, and violently forces you to your feet.
"Breakin' my goddamn heart, sweet pea." He seethes with disappointment.
"I'm sorry," you repeat through your tears, still begging his eyes to meet yours. Finally, he puts his rifle around his back and looks at you. You must look so pathetic. Crying, knees covered in dirt, still naked from the waist down. The dying man stops gurgling. You whimper yet again, "I'm sorry."
He looks you up and down and seems to soften a little as he responds, "I know, baby.” But notably, he doesn't say it's okay. He doesn't say he forgives you. You collapse into his chest and sob. He pulls you closer and you're startled when his arousal swells into you.
"How'd they touch you?" Joel asks, then clenches his jaw as though bracing himself for impact. At least he knows they didn't fuck you since they were all still dressed, to his great relief.
Joel has your pants in his hands waiting for your answer. You tell him.
He sighs and squats down. He wedges his hand between your thighs and you're wet with arousal from feeling his wood. "Was it like this?" He asks, sliding his fingers against your folds. You don't know what to say. It wasn’t like this because it didn’t feel good. He plunges two fingers into you and asks, "like this?" He digs the heel of his palm into his arousal.
“Kind of”
His face tenses into a snarl as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. What does 'kind of' mean?”
“It hurt.”
“Too many fingers?”
“No, just one, but too rough. And too dry.” Your cheeks burn.
His eyes light up in grim satisfaction. “Ok, baby.” He takes his fingers out and wraps his arms around you again. You start crying again.
“I’m sorry,” you say for the millionth time.
“I know you are, sweet pea." He brushes the tears off your cheeks. “Wanna be sorry here or in the house?” You can only assume what he means. You just hope it won’t be too brutal, given your betrayal.
His breath deepens, and he’s slowly stroking a larger bulge in his skin-tight pants now. You have to think about it for a moment. You’re anxious to get away from the dead FEDRA bodies, but the other raiders and victims are still in the house.
Joel adds, “Or in the van?”
“In the van."
He brushes the dirt off you and helps you step into your pants.
-
When you get back to the house they’ve been raiding, Joel doesn’t take you straight to the van. There are a few bodies strewn about. The hostages are all in one room. Joel takes you to a bathroom away from them.
He locks the door, hangs his rifle on the towel hook, then turns on the shower. He strips you and gets behind you, both of you facing the mirror. He asks, “They do anything else to you? Touch you anywhere else?” You tell him they touched your breasts. He inhales deeply and clenches his jaw, then cups both your breasts from behind, slowly massaging them. "Like this?" His hardness presses into you.
"Kind of, but it didn’t feel good."
Half his mouth smiles, and in the mirror you notice him scanning your body head to toe. Then he turns you around to face him.
His hands engulf your ass cheeks, pulling you into his pants. The feeling of his arousal against your front makes you weak.
A massive hand drifts to the center of your ass, and his middle finger lightly glides up and down your crack. “They touch you in here?”
“No.”
"Good. They're all gone now, okay baby?”
-
The water is ice cold as usual and your nipples are painfully hard as Joel lathers them. He washes your whole body, looking at you like a juicy leg of lamb. When he goes between your legs, you sense his intentions and warn him, “Um, you can’t put soap in there.”
He pauses, bemused. “Why’s that , sweet pea?”
“It’s bad for you, you can get an infection.”
He looks at the soap contemplatively and says “okay, baby.”
He rinses you off and tells you to sit on the toilet seat. Then he sits on the ground, his legs to each side of the toilet, knees up. He gets you to spread your legs, come to the edge of the seat, and lean back. The way he’s breathing as he eyes your pussy gives you butterflies.
He puts your knees over his shoulders. He drags two knuckles down your slippery folds, then extends and inserts his fingers and curls them, dragging his thick digits against your walls, trying to scrape off any trace of FEDRA. The smallest skin particle would be too much. It's extreme, but you don’t mind how it feels – physically, at least. It’s also not a bad view. His neck veins bulge, his eyes are dark.
He looks like he has a job to do, and he goes about it quite industriously. His beard scratches your inner thighs and outer lips. He licks a thick stripe from your taint to your clit, then drags his tongue through every crevice of your folds on each side, making you squirm with tension. He swirls his tongue around your clit and sucks your hood. Then he plunges his tongue onto you and your whole body feels hollow and light. His tongue is so thick it's like being fucked. You shudder and he glances up darkly. His lips move diligently with the effort and he sucks like he’s trying to cave your walls in on his tongue. Your thighs quiver and he glances up at you again. When you're right about to come, he pulls away.
"Good as new," he says as he wipes his beard.
You were so close to coming and you can hardly bear the tension.
As though reading your mind, he says, "This ain’t for fun, baby. Not today. Not after what you did."
He braces his hands on your thighs and stands up with a groan, sporting major wood. "Stay here," he says coldly. You squeeze your thighs together. He takes his rifle off the back of the door and puts it on. He leaves for a few minutes and takes all your clothes with him including your underwear.
As soon as he walks out of the bathroom, one hand goes between your legs and the other to your breast, working toward the quickest release possible, biting your lip. The vision of him between your legs is blinding your mind’s eye from thinking about anything else. You come just in time, covering your own mouth with your inner arm. You feel a wave of shame after you come - how depraved to get off in this situation. But the tension was too much to take.
Joel comes back with a duffle bag and a dress. He seems to notice your post-orgasm flush. He puts the dress on you and it's not a minidress but it's shorter than you're comfortable with, especially if you don't get to wear underwear. It’s thin, too. He strokes your inner thighs and gives you an accusatory look.
"You come when I say."
Your face burns and you nod.
"Told you I wasn't gonna let anything happen to you. . . then I did." He looks guilty, almost anguished. "You're gonna learn to do what I say, understand?"
You nod.
"For your own good, sweet pea."
"Yeah," you whisper.
You try to tug the dress down and hesitantly ask, "Can I have, um-"
"No," Joel says and slings the duffle bag over his shoulder. "Got you some but you're not gonna need it for a while."
You swallow thickly and remember you chose the van.
-
Joel manhandles you into the passenger seat, takes some paracord out of the duffle bag, and ties your wrists in a special knot. Then he ties them behind your head to the headrest.
He strings rope around the headrest and across your chest in each direction forming an X across your chest with your breasts on either side. He ties that to the wrist restraints. The rope digs into your neck uncomfortably.
“Try to get out and it’ll only get tighter. And I’m gonna know about it.”
“I won’t.” You’re earnest.
“Hope not,” he says. “‘Cause I’ve got a lot more of this.” He holds up a bunch of paracord, puts it back in the bag, then looks you up and down and wets his lips. “Looks good on ya, too.” He shoves the duffle bag behind your seat. “Real good.”
He slides his hand between your legs and shoves his middle finger right inside you. His head falls back and his eyelids are heavy. You’re still wet enough that it doesn’t hurt. He thumbs your clit while pushing two, then three fingers in and out of you. Then he stills his fingers inside you. He strokes the bulge in his pants with the heel of his palm. His mouth falls open and he studies your face. Then he flattens his fingers and rubs your whole pussy. It feels so good, so unbearably good. Your spine arches. He takes his time and brings you to the brink again, then cruelly removes his hand.
“Stay here.” He points at the rope. “Remember – try to get out, it’ll only get tighter.”
You nod, clenching your thighs together, barely paying attention.
“It’s for your own good.” The tension feels like torture.
-
A few minutes later, Joel comes back out to the van, thank god. Your hands are getting numb and the rope is chafing your neck and cleavage. He opens the door and examines the paracord around your wrists. “Good girl,” he says. He looks you up and down as though deciding what to do with you. He exhales with a puff of his cheeks and rubs the big lump in his tight pants. At this point, nothing would surprise you, and you wonder if you should have made a move in the bathroom to suck him off.
He swiftly unties the paracord then unbuckles his belt, gazing at you in a dark trance.
He aggressively shoves his strong arm under you, then you make space and he wedges himself between you and the seat. You’re in his lap again.
Initially, he pulls you back into him and your breath hitches when you feel his hard package beneath you. His hips lift and his arousal swells harder. He breathes heavily and his chest inflates against your back. Then he extends his legs to make a downward slope and scoots you forward on his thighs. You hear his zipper come down. When you chose the van, you didn’t know it would be this. You’re humiliated, but your body purrs in anticipation.
You’re startled by the van’s back doors opening.
“Come on,” Joel whispers flatly, nudging you to hover over him. When you rise a few inches, he lifts your dress and guides your naked ass backwards, hovering in his lap. He presses the curve of your spine and you tilt your hips. He guides you until you feel his firm tip at your dripping entrance. "You want this?" You nod almost imperceptibly, then he says, "Go ahead." You sink onto him with a soft gasp. “That's right, take it," he says. He puts his hand over your mouth and pulls you down, breathing, "yes." Then he sighs "Ahh," as his girth parts your insides. He has to use both arms and a thrust to bury himself entirely, then your body’s flush with his. His noises are quiet but visceral, softer than usual, but just as masculine.
You’re pitiful, like a rag doll in your thin dress, no panties, no bra, sitting on his cock. Bending to his will like he’s your puppeteer. And you might as well have an arm shoved all the way up you. He’s inhabiting every bit of space in your guts.
Men are loading things into the back of the van. Joel leans you forward to spread your dress over his lap. Then he pulls you back and lifts his hips, making his cock move deep inside you. The main door to the van slides open and men start piling in. Your seat is always in Joel’s lap, that’s nothing new, so hopefully no one notices you’re impaled on his massive cock.
But that’s unlikely, considering he’s not sitting still. He rocks his hips, pushing his length up into you at a slow pace. This has the effect of lifting your body each time. Someone sitting behind you could surely see your head going up and down slowly, smoothly, rhythmically. Joel's hands cup your breasts through your dress. Tension is coiling in your core. With his next upward thrust, Joel softly grunts into your hair. Quieter than usual. He isn’t worried about being seen or heard – That’s not his style at all – It’s just that, in the van, it doesn’t take much to put on a show. In a way, if he can subject everyone to it in near-silence, that’s even more dominant.
Joel’s hips continue to lift into you and he slides his hand into the low-cut neckline to grope your naked breast. The driver, Carter, glances over and does a double-take, then swallows sheepishly and quickly averts his gaze, but reaches for the bandana on the dashboard and hands it to Joel. They’re going to the stash house so Joel pauses to tie it over your eyes.
Joel grunts softly into your hair as his cock is hugged tight by your warmth. None of the men talk to him. They chatter at low volume amongst themselves, and he doesn’t have the best hearing. You hear his name in a whisper from the back of the van and get self conscious that they’re watching. But of course they are. If Joel hears them, he doesn’t seem to mind. With each tilt of his hips, his thick cock moves a short but impactful distance, nudging your g-spot. You’re already so full, but it fills you more each time. The tension tightens, radiating to your whole body. Begging for release. The motion is smooth and fluid beneath you. It’s like you’re riding an ocean wave. Your breathing gets heavier.
You squeeze your thighs together, tightening around his cock. Joel grunts into your neck, then whispers “I don’t think so, sweet pea” and stops moving. He’s really punishing you. For almost the rest of the ride, he holds you completely still on his cock. Your heart races and your face is hot. He’s leaning back against the seat and has you leaning back against him. You ride in silence, listening to the noise of the road under the tires, pitch black under the blindfold. Joel’s as thick and hard as ever and the swell of his shaft twitches. Every bump in the road provides welcome friction between his warm rod and your desperate walls.
You know you're getting close to the stash house when you reach the gravel road, at which point you’re continuously bounced on his cock. You can feel your arousal leaking out of you and onto him. Your combined musk fills the van and the driver cracks his window as the terrain effectively makes you ride Joel's cock despite his best efforts to deprive you. He holds you tight, trying to keep you completely still against him. You aren’t sure if you’ll be able to stop yourself from coming.
“You were bad today,” he whispers lowly into your neck, and you feel a wave of shame. “In the worst way," he adds coldly.
You turn your cheek as though trying to meet his eyes through the blindfold, but his hand strongly grips your jaw and forces your face straight ahead again.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper as you bounce there, filled to the brim with his girth.
“Gonna be a good girl from now on?”
“Yes.”
“Come when I do, then,” his low voice murmurs into your ear, sending a rush through your body. He better come really soon.
He inhales deeply through his nose and puts his arm flat on your back with his strong forearm resting along your spine and his hand firmly gripping the nape of your neck. He forces you down, and you fold forward with your head near your knees. Then he covers your mouth tight with his other hand. His arm presses down on your back as his hips lift up into you. He grunts as he erupts inside you. His thick cock powerfully pulses and sends you clenching and fluttering around him, softly moaning into his hand as you find your own waves of release. It feels like it lasts forever.
“Maniac,” someone says under their breath as Joel lets you sit back up.
"You did good," he whispers flatly into your hair. To your shame, your heart can't help but swell at his approval, even though the coldness in his tone stings. He's obviously preoccupied by what you did.
You can't discern most of the hushed murmurs until another voice ominously whispers from the back of the van, “He can’t watch her 24/7 forever.” Joel must not hear it or else you imagine the man wouldn’t be breathing for long.
-
The van parks at the stash house and Joel takes off your blindfold. He helps lift you off his lap and his length slides out, bringing with it a dripping mess of both of you. Your insides slowly pull themselves back together as your combined juices trickle down your thigh. You step down out of the van while he zips up his pants and you dab yourself as best you can with the dress, face burning along with your neck, shoulders, and hands. With Joel facing away from the men, you can feel them staring at you, but as soon as he steps out of the van, they look away and go about unloading.
Joel retrieves the duffle bag from behind the seat, but he doesn't bring it into the stash house with you. He takes out a blanket and wraps it around you, making you decent. You shouldn't feel like it's sweet, but there's a passing moment before you remind yourself the gesture is for him, not you. He doesn't want anyone else to see you. He said as much the first time you were there. Joel takes out some rope from the bag, and before he brings you into the house, he makes sure his switchblade is in his pocket. Then he firmly grabs you by the elbow and takes you inside.
"You're gonna have to be brave for me in a minute, baby."
-
-
we'll pick up from here next time & a couple more asks will become relevant. It gets dark.
Thank you so much for reading and interacting! We've been simping for this sicko for a month now and i really enjoy our banter and dialogue about him and the other toxic joels.
DARK!JOEL MILLER X F!READER
SUMMARY: He's a bad guy, and you're his good girl. Joel saves you from bad men, but claims you for himself. His cold persona starts to crack, but he gets even more possessive. You're his world, and he'll do anything to keep you. Anything to keep each other. Emotional slowburn, smut the whole time.
WARNINGS: 18+ canon-typical violence, noncon via implicit threat, evolving to enthusiastic dubious consent (stockholm syndrome), praise and pet names (sweet pea, baby), unsafe P in V, exhibitionism, extreme possessiveness, dark fluff (🖤), angst, and more. NO USE of Y/N, No physical description of reader. Darkness rating by poll.
NOTES: moodboard by @milla-frenchy 🖤 a rb will not stay up-to-date.
Spotify: raider, sweet pea (smut)
Optional reference: trailer floor plan
OC: Carter masterlist
Raider ART masterlist
✨ new drabble Sep 18, 2025: the cool ground 🖤
chronological story
Note, links that aren't bold were written out of order and may be written in past tense or allude to future events. their placement in this list is based on timeline.
fics with 🔒 are currently unavailable. see my post for info.
Raider: (Mar 24, 2023) - He "saves" you
Rescue (1.9k) Your bf tries to save you.
Stash House (850)- Joel shows off
Wash Bin 🖤 (1k)
Shooting Practice Drabble (1.6k)
Roulette (4k) - You try your luck and run.
J. Miller 🔒 (2k) - Joel labels you. dark.
Home (1.3k) - Joel takes care of you 🖤
Company 🔒 (2.2k) - Another girl shows up. dark.
Extra Scene - angst.
Yoga (1k)
✨️Scavenging
Close 🔒 (Jul 3, 2.7k) - A close call 🖤
Gun Hug 🔒 (Jul 31, 3.7k) - Men are punished 🖤
If you want him (1.5k) - He holds out to see🖤
House meeting drabble 🖤
You get sick at night drabble 🖤
sleeping beast (<1k), PWP
Night Air (3.5k) - Joel's POV is revealing 🖤
Bonus blurb, and wakeup pwp drabble
tired 🖤
Hunger (7k) - a lot 🖤
Bodies 🔒 (7.8k) - Joel takes a leap 🖤
The kiss Raider POV 🖤
Feast (Apr 17, 2025, 1.9k) - Joel's hunger 🖤
✨️the cool ground 🖤
Bulletin from Tox - no cliffhangers
more of them (fic)
🔥 smut
boots drabble 🔥
face sitting on sofa 🔥
Van ride drabble (800) 🖤 angst/fluff
Quiet Time 🔥
scenarios (fic)
Trying to use him (800) (riding) 🔥
You touch his scar
quickie (daddy kink scenario) 🔥
If Joel was sick 🖤
Sweet pea overhears Joel 🔥
if men had hurt you in the past
if you got your period 🖤
if you weren't wet 🔥
if you bit his arm drabble 🔥
If you snapped (emotional spice) 🖤
magazine and makeup 🖤
If you were annoying
graveyard blurb (spice)
Choking on his dick (600) 🔥
his birthday 🥺
being bad, looking good (2.8k, smut) 🔥
Roly poly - comfort 🖤
headcanons, Q&A
Joel POV of when you met (Oct 3, 1k)
If another man had his way (Q&A)
if you had scars or tattoos (Q&A)
sweet pea by herself
If you sketched Joel and Jack
Apple picking 🖤
Responding to a Nightmare 🖤
cutting his hair 🖤
accidentally hurting her 🖤
analysis (#raider!analysis)
why does he keep her
why did he snap (in Company extra scene)
his eye contact
his affection / feelings, trajectory 🖤
falling for sweet pea
his self hate and her feelings
the dog and joel's concern for you
awareness of growth / why keep her
raider tommy
Birds of prey (2.6k)
Experience it how it came out: All posts tagged raider!joel in the order they were posted
The community has made some amazing tributes to this series. PLEASE check them out here. They were to their own list after this post hit the link limit.
Note: not all content is linked. Asks can also lead to lore, snippets, and previews or hints of future plot points, etc. which are often not added to this masterlist.
🖤 If mine or another writer's work has inspired yours, pls share/tag the inspo even if it's later on. i may share your fic, too 🖤
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Male pitch, heavy breathing, moaning, jacking off, can’t help themselves, shouldn’t be doing this, just want you so bad, need to be inside you, secretly fucking, losing control, Dubcon, stepcest, urgency, in public, less is more, don’t really wanna see their face, and anything you think I’d be into, knowing me. Bonus for northern (especislly Boston / southie) and midwestern accents
you can probs find most of those audio things on Quinn or even porn hub! There’s a whole array of them. Quinn sometimes can be corny though
Yeah, agreed about Quinn, too much plot and theatrics lol. There’s a lot out there but it’s a lot to wade through that doesn’t really hit, so I’m looking for specific recs bc I wanna find the good stuff! I’ve gotten some reaaaaaly good recs from yall before. Like @felix24601
Male pitch, heavy breathing, moaning, jacking off, can’t help themselves, shouldn’t be doing this, just want you so bad, need to be inside you, secretly fucking, losing control, Dubcon, stepcest, urgency, in public, less is more, don’t really wanna see their face, and anything you think I’d be into, knowing me. Bonus for northern (especislly Boston / southie) and midwestern accents
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
WARNING: Cancer, medical trauma, serious illness, hospitals, discussion of disability and mortality, fundraising. Previous Post for context.
🤍
So. It’s cancer.
For those of you following along, I've been undergoing an extensive workup to determine the cause of my Horner's Syndrome. There were a dozen possible explanations. Instead, the scans uncovered something I never expected.
The cruelest irony is that I was hoping to celebrate my five-year anniversary as a survivor of endometrial cancer in August. I couldn't wait to use the words "cancer free." Almost made it.
Instead, it's a malignant Pancoast tumor at the top of my lung that has already worked its way into my T1 vertebra and first rib. It is rare, aggressive, and wrapped around major blood vessels. My bones are literally being eaten; because of the structural location, I am at risk of paralysis.
My first oncology appointment is Monday, and the truth is, I am terrified.
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Because of the heart attack I just had, the treatment plan—likely simultaneous chemo and radiation before surgery—is a massive gamble. Even the biopsy carries a risk of stroke. I am trying to preemptively organize my care because I know whatever happens next is going to be bad. My decisions moving forward aren’t just about standard treatment; they are about whether my body can even endure being systemically dismantled, and what kind of quality of life will be left on the other side of it.
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The strangest part is looking in the mirror. I look into the glass and I just see my normal self looking back—in my my favorite Ramones t-shirt and cute Summer bob. Maybe looking a little tired, but completely intact. Assumptions get made about people in this position, like a diagnosis instantly overwrites who you are. Four years ago, I was a C-suite executive flying family to Vail. Today, I am still entirely myself, just trapped inside a brutal trajectory and trying to make peace with the math while dealing with the fact that my doctor is 50 miles away.
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I am a Medicaid patient with no car, an estranged family, and zero dollars. The state-provided transportation service has stranded me four separate times now, including this week. Missing Monday is not an option. When the van fails, a round-trip Uber is $100 to $140. There will be at least four or five of these critical appointments in the next few weeks alone just to figure out what happens next.
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I’m putting the Ko-fi link below. I need to raise $500 to ensure I can actually get into the room to make these choices. If the state van actually shows up, the funds will help with groceries, and assistive equipment not covered by insurance.
It is incredibly difficult to ask for help, but I desperately need it.
Support Riff's Oncology Transit Fund 💜
Count on me to continue making thirsty edits as long as my little fingers allow. I love reading your fics and admiring your artwork. This is the best fandom and I love you all so much. 🫶
Hey Toxy, just checking in to see how you are, it’s been a while since we talked! Miss you! ❤️
Hi, Kate! Miss you, too! I've been alright. I've been more into the visual arts this year for IRL reasons. But last week I finally did some creative writing again. It wasn't fic and wasn't even erotic, if you can believe it. Also, I haven't finished it. But I can say it felt good to get back into writing.
Toxi I miss you. I miss what Tumblr used to be. It feels like a desert and that I have very few people I hold onto (not in a red flag way 💀 just in a good memory way)
what you are doing to stir engagement for change is extremely inspiring and incredible! props to you for using your platform for the better!! much love
thank you for your encouragement, nonnie! 🌷🪷🪻💜💖❤️🧡💛💚💙
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posting this here in asks in case you have any people from oklahoma on your account, because if anyone is—VOTE JUNE 16TH TO RAISE MINIMUM WAGE! if not from OK, research local elections and get involved and help campaign for change!
(ps idk if you’re still unlocking fics…but night talks 🙏 )
OKLAHOMANS! JUNE 16. RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE. IT'S STILL $7.25.
check your sample ballot here
here you go, nonnie: night talks
p.s. i still don't have the Tumblr app rn and haven't checked my DMs in a minute, I'm sorry 😔
Can you raise some awareness about HR 2616? I info that’s not usually what you do, but you are very politically active and have a pretty big queer following. It just passed the house about a week ago and it’ll prevent trans middle and elementary school students from being addressed by their preferred name and pronouns and prevent teachers from teaching about gender and sexuality, removing books with trans characters from school libraries and making teachers unable to acknowledge the existence of trans people.
(5calls) Bill info & easy action: HR 2616 🏳️⚧️ Goes to Senate next. If you live in the U.S., you have 2 senators.