a kind of bitter and sweet⭐

During a seminar, a woman asked, "How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”

In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?”

“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author.

Here’s the answer:

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone

else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this)

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

You don't always get the love that you deserve, and that's okay.

I know how much you want to receive the same value of love that you're giving. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try your best and no matter how much love you are always willing to offer, it's just not enough. You cannot force someone to treat you the way you wish to be treated. You cannot force someone to love you even how many times you desperately beg for it. You just can't simply force love, and that's okay.

And when I say, “that's okay,” I do not mean you don't deserve it. Your love deserves to be reciprocated, and that is why when somebody takes it for granted, I hope you know that somebody else might give you what you deserve. Somebody else might give you the love that you're looking for, and you might just asking the wrong person right now. One day, you'll understand why you have to go through all of this, and one day, you'll find happiness again after you stop fighting for someone who can't see your worth.

You will never be enough for someone who can't love you the same, and that is the saddest truth that you have to realize. But it's okay, because just like what most people say— someone might never learn how to love you right, but somebody else will. When someone can't take good care of a person like you, somebody else will— and it will be all worth it someday.

— Shiori X

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