Pikipek Army

Putin warns gay people not to spread propaganda during Sochi Olympics

Every Western media outlet wants a sound bite from Ilya, a Russian superstar who’s lived in the West for five years, regarding the gay propaganda laws

Ilya has to thread the needle of neither denouncing or promoting Russia’s stance

Ilya leads the National Hockey Team to a demoralising crash out

The prettiest man in the world makes the unbelievably stupid decision that now is a good time and place to talk to each other in public for the first time ever

He is upbraided by his Papa

Sveta completely misreads what he needs, and he can’t even be mad about it because at least she’s trying

The Bolotnaya Square protesters are convicted

Russia moves troops into Crimea

He keeps frantically googling pictures of Shane in the middle of the night

Russian opposition leaders are detained

G8 suspends Russian membership

Boston makes the playoffs

The Russian government enacts laws tightening control of dissemination of information, categorising bloggers alongside journalists

The Donetsk and Luhansk referenda, unrecognised by the international community

Boston wins the Stanley Cup

Has panic attack in a bathroom, is immediately accused of being an asshole for arriving on time

Successfully convinces himself he’s capable of having sex with Shane without feelings, definitely doesn’t cry once he’s alone

Super super fun happy times summer with his ailing father

MH17 shot down by Russian-made missile

Russia hits back at sanctions by banning food imports, sends food prices soaring

Oil prices crash, halving Russia’s national budget

Foreign ownership in Russia media is capped

Has Totally No Strings No Feelings secret sex with Shane, everything is Chill

Russian financial crisis hits, prices of food up 40 to 50%, some KHL teams can’t even pay their players