Cherchez La Femme

Theres a specific type of male thot on instagram and they all have too many rings and look at the camera weird

Insane that these are all different people

they also post a bunch of pictures of their veiny hands on twitter

Wearing men’s deodorant and watching the straight girls I work with faces’ become Confused and Attracted because I smell like a Hot Guy™ (their words) is a bisexual power move and you can’t tell me otherwise.

Plus, for the first couple of days you also feel constantly Confused and Attracted and where is the Hot Guy™? And then you realize that the Hot Guy™ was you all along.

i just walked past the apartment beneath mine and through an open window i could hear my downstairs neighbor crying faintly while the song jolene played in the background and im just like… bitch are you okay…?

I actually ended up going back downstairs to check on her and brought some leftover cookies I baked this afternoon. she’s very sweet and going through a Breakup Mood™️ after being cheated on. she’s coming over to my gf and I’s annual bad movie night on Friday and she even let me pet her cat named Clarence

my gf thinks it’s funny but very fitting that our downstairs neighbor was able to summon a concerned lesbian just by playing jolene while crying about being done dirty by a man

Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture?

My dream wedding: outside, illegal fireworks, shoes are optional, mostly potluck, someone’s dressed as a wizard, I get to insult my relatives, hopefully some live music.

You want to get married at Bilbo Baggins 111th birthday

She’s so casual about it I love it

please ban male presenting nipples as well 1. it’s equality and 2. i don’t like them

BARBIES. I’M TALKING ABOUT BARBIES. I AM CUSTOMIZING TOYS RIGHT NOW I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER AND I HAVE NEVER BEHEADED AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE HUMAN BEING OR TRIED TO REATTACH A PERSON’S HEAD BY BOILING IT

This might be the best creepypasta I’ve ever seen

i eat a lot of bread because it’s soft and i deserve it. also i am gorgeous