Portrait sketch done for @evostrashbin, in honour of Grima Day 🐉!!

So Final Fantasy 7 is Max's favorite RPG. I don't entirely remember, but it might be his favorite game, period. Dude is easily on board with the prospect of a Final Fantasy 7 remake, even back when that shit was a ludicrous pie in the sky concept.

We get to the E3 showcase where they have a special announcement regarding the game. Dude is locked in - but it was the infamous E3 fakeout where they just announced a port of the Steam remaster for the PS4. In hindsight, Remake was in production; the issue is that it was leaked ahead of time, so Square Enix threw that nugget together to throw people off the trail.

But there were signs in subsequent presentations. Like with Crash Bandicoot before the N.Sane Trilogy, you had Sony execs wearing Final Fantasy 7 shirts. One of these presentations had a green, wavy light pattern across a monitor that looked a lot like the Lifestream. And again - despite the Final Fantasy 7 Remake being about as likely as Half Life 3, Max would go into each of these shows being "that" fanboy. He wanted FF7 Remake to be real so badly.

So - cut to E3 2015.

The trailer drops.

Now - for the uninitiated, this version of Final Fantasy 7 Remake was being developed by CyberConnect2. You have to understand that Square Enix has just been fucking brutalised by the 7th generation of consoles at this point. The only Final Fantasy projects to really come out on PS3 and 360 were the Final Fantasy 13 trilogy; I like the first two of those games, but they were very contentious games and XIII was a massive boondoggle that took up a lot of time, money and resources.

CyberConnect2 were actually involved in developing XIII-2 because it was cheaper to outsource a sequel with a bunch of reused assets than to develop it in-house. Of course, production had gone full swing into Final Fantasy 15 - and THAT was its own shitshow, but the point is that after the HD era of games had really kicked off, Square Enix - like a lot of Japanese devs - hit a real slump. They had a team on the mainline title, they wanted to follow through on FF7 Remake, CyberConnect2 helped a lot with the FF13 trilogy. It makes sense.

The CyberConnect2 version of the game, once again, is a shitshow! The game is in development for like three years - three long, silent years with no news, no announcements, no trailers. Just as quickly as FF7 Remake was announced, it went silent. And this was par for the course for Square Enix up to this point, every single Final Fantasy game of the past decade had gone through the same process. 13 shat the bed, Versus 13/15 shat the bed, and now here was FF7 Remake. Shitting the bed.

E3 2019 happens.

Maximilian Dood is at E3. He's wearing an official Squaresoft staff jacket from the nineties he bought on eBay.

He checks out Square Enix's booth.

Motherfuckers RECOGNIZE him.

They ask if he wants to see a presentation they're showing behind closed doors. Max - of course - says yes.

So these guys start talking into walkie-talkies and running around to see what they can do. And eventually, they find some room for him - so Max gets to go behind closed doors at E3 and see some industry shit about Final Fantasy 7 Remake.

All that CyberConnect2 stuff was relevant for this next part.

After three-odd years of development, Square Enix saw that the 7R project under CyberConnect2 was spinning its wheels. So they made the decision to cut their losses, scrap that version of the game, and move development in-house. The version of Final Fantasy 7 Remake we got was developed in just a couple of years; from the outside it looks like 5 years of development, but internally it's only two years.

What the staff would do, as they crunched the fuck out of FF7 Remake to hopefully meet the lofty expectations of the fans, is they would put on reaction videos from people who loved the Remake reveal trailer.

And one of those videos was Max's reaction. The one I linked before.

So Max is watching the presentation. And he keeps getting distracted, because staff at the event are looking at him - almost trying to gauge a reaction. The event ends, and Max is chit-chatting with the staff, and Max sees Yoshinori Kitase standing around. He directed the original FF7 game, and he's an executive producer who's been connected to the series for decades at this point. Kitase is a BIG fucking deal when it comes to Final Fantasy.

So, seeing him standing around, Max asks if he can get a picture with both Kitase and a designer on the game named Watanabe-san.

So they get the picture, and then Kitase asks Max if THEY can get a picture with HIM. So all three of them get this picture taken, and the bombshell gets dropped on Max. When the team are all fucked up from the long hours they've been working, when they're not sure that the way they're making the right game, they would put on that video to motivate the staff. According to Kitase, it gave the team energy to keep moving forward.

They took the picture with Max to take back to the team and go "yo check it out, we met fuckin Maximilian Dood! He loved the presentation!"

And dude is fucking CRYING as he's telling this story. It's an outstanding story.

So, we cut to the release of the game. And there's a part in this VOD where he opens a door and gets a really nice view of Midgar during the daytime:

where Max just has to stop playing and be like "I can't do it. It's too good. I need to go and kiss my wife".

So he's been a HUGE Remake guy this whole time. Front to back, he's had a uniquely personal experience with this remake series.

Let's fast forward to Revelation's reveal today.

The last reveal of Summer Games Fest 2026 was Final Fantasy 7 Revelation. It's the final Remake game. Max is losing his mind in the reaction, it's too much, it's an awesome video.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE PRESENTATION ENDS, MAX GETS A PHONE CALL.

IT'S NAOKI HAMAGUCHI, THE CO-DIRECTOR OF REMAKE AND THE MAIN DIRECTOR OF REBIRTH AND REVELATION.

AND HE'S CALLING MAX - RIGHT AFTER THE WORLD PREMIERE OF THE GAME, AS IN WITHIN THE HOUR OF IT HAPPENING - TO ASK IF HE CAN COME OVER TO MAX'S PLACE TO TALK ABOUT THE GAME.

They went STRAIGHT FROM SUMMER GAMES FEST to talk about the game with Max, ON STREAM, IN HIS *BASEMENT*.

(phone call is about 3 hours in, Hamaguchi shows up 6 hours in. The time stamps are in the comments)

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Amazon made their service worse, to force people to pay for Prime.

Nowadays, if you order from Amazon, there is a week long delay before your package is shipped. (on purpose)

I remember when orders would ship out the same day. (I remember - it was real)

YouTube didn't used to have ads. Now, ads play in the middle of videos. (it's worse than TV ever was)

The best can opener I have owned is over 40 years old. Modern ones just don't hold up as well. (The ones I bought new broke ages ago)

The bread machine my mom got for her wedding lasted 30 years. It's been replaced twice in the last 5 years. (How can you fuck this up?)

The cardboard tubes in the middle of toilet paper rolls have gotten larger. (This too?) Companies increasing the price of the product while selling you less. (REALLY?)

It sounds crazy. (it's the truth) When you talk about it, YOU sound crazy. (it's true)

Even when people believe you (do they really), all they can say is "it sucks". (it's too big) Because the problem is so big, so pervasive, what can we even DO about it???

To get the necessary laws written and passed, we need politicians, to get the politicians elected we need information campaigns, to fund campaigns we need money, and all the money is being hoarded by the people profiting from enshittification. (it sounds so fake)