just look at me, baby, day and night

it’s the first vacation you’ve had the chance to take since you and intak got together months ago. your lives have been frantic, especially in the recent weeks – between your job and his comeback on top of the freshly finished world tour, you’ve barely seen each other and have been running on empty, in desperate need of a break.

here, it’s nothing like the uproar of the city back at home – always rushing somewhere, surrounded by the noise of traffic and breathing in exhaustion fumes. you’ve been spending your days lounging in the hotel pool or exploring the city, coming back late in the night only to stay up nearly until sunrise tangled in the king-sized bed in your room.

wherever you look, there’s greenery, water, and amazing food, along with more beaming and welcoming people than you’ve seen in the past few weeks back in the city. it’s incredible. you can feel your muscles relaxing in real time under the heat of the sun, body melting into the sand like the ice cubes in your drink.

then something tall and broad stands in the way between you and the rays.

lifting your sunglasses, you see no one but your boyfriend, grinning down at you with that boyish smile, dimple on display and hands braced on his hips.

“wanna go into the water?” he asks, the excitement evident in his voice.

but you’re immune to those puppy eyes of his. you’re perfectly fine over here – warm and dry. besides, you were at the pool yesterday, and you probably will be again tomorrow. there will be plenty of time to get soaked.

you lie your head back down, sliding your shades onto your nose again. “no. you can go alone, i’ll stay here.”

there’s a moment of stillness after you speak. you can practically see the pout on his lips even though your eyes are closed, but he doesn’t argue, so you think he’s taking a minute to quietly sulk before he accepts his defeat.

you’d think you’d know better by now, though, because right after you finish that thought you’re being scooped up from the towel with a yelp from your mouth, a pair of strong arms holding you in the air under your knees and your back.

“intak!”

the said man doesn’t seem to be bothered by your wriggling, steps even as he carries you towards where the waves are crashing into the sand.

your eyes widen in horror when you realise his intentions, fingers tightening their grip on his tanned shoulder. “no, no, no, don’t you dare–”

your words are cut off by the sound of splashing water as intak very unceremoniously lets go of you, dropping you into the warm water with an amused giggle.

the sudden chill of the water against your heated body sends a shockwave through your system, limbs scrambling to get your head above its level in an instinct. you drag your hands over your face to get the salt out of your eyes and your hair out of your face, lips parted in a breathless, surprised gasp. it takes a solid couple of seconds for your brain to catch up with the fact that you’re waist-deep in the water now when you’ve been peacefully chilling on your towel just a moment ago, eyes darting between your little setup back at the shore, your now-soaked dress, and intak’s shit-eating grin.

“hwang intak!” the tone of your voice is scolding, but you can’t suppress the twitch of the corners of your mouth as you bend over to sink your hand into the water and splash it towards him.

he only laughs in response, his eyes crinkling and arms rising to shield his face from the attack before he copies your move, sending a stream of water towards you.

time slows down like this, the tranquil beach filling with your echoing laughter and playful yells as you fight to cover the other one with more water, despite both of you being already soaked to the bone. your clothes are clinging to your skin and your hair is slicked back, but your faces are flushed with the kind of free happiness you haven't felt in a long while.

finally, in the determination to win, you jump towards him and push against his chest with all the strength you have left. he stumbles, eyebrows shooting up in surprise at the sudden action, his arms shooting out in a reflex to hold onto something before he falls – fingers catching the wet fabric of your dress, and pulling you into him as both of you trip into the water.

you can feel his arms sneaking around your thighs before he stands up again, holding you up, chests flush against each other. your arms come to wrap around his neck, ankles hooking behind his back as you tilt your chin down to look at him. your faces are close enough that every individual lash and freckle is visible to your gaze, and you find yourself at a loss for words, breath catching in your throat.

“we left our things on the beach,” you murmur at last, needing to fill the charged silence more than actually worrying about your belongings. “we should get back there.”

intak’s eyes don’t stray from yours even for one second as he shakes his head. “no one’s here,” he hums, leaning in to brush the tip of his nose against yours, the gesture so intimate and sweet it makes your heart skip a beat.

“it’s just us.”

the next thing you know is that his lips are on yours. they’re slightly chapped from the beat but warm as ever, tasting like saltwater and the fruit you’ve been snacking on earlier as they move slowly, encompassing yours with intoxicating tenderness.

your phone and wallet, your drink, the chill on your spine as the wind brushes your damp skin – none of it matters anymore when he kisses you like you’re his whole world, the only one on his mind even amidst all the beauty surrounding you. like the vacation wouldn’t mean anything without you there.

you’re not sure how much time passes before you break apart for air, still staying as close as you can while your eyes flutter open, gazes softened with affection.

then he whispers an “i love you” into your lips right before taking his hands away from where they’re holding you up, and you fall back into the water.

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Growing up you always loved the idea of finding your soulmate, the person you’re meant to be with. You’ve asked your parents to retell their story to you more times than you could remember. 

Both born with a date on their left wrist, the date they would first meet. They had met when they were in elementary school and were able to grow up together, their bond always strong. You thought their story was the most romantic thing you’ve ever heard of. 

But you didn’t have a bond, at least not a physical one that you could see. It was rare to not have a soulmate bond that wasn’t visible. And it was even more rare to not have a bond at all. 

You had hoped something would appear eventually, knowing some marks don’t show up until a specific age. And when your family had moved to a new city when you were twelve, you wanted to believe this would be a new opportunity to finally meet your soulmate. 

Then you met the boy next door who was a year older than you. Seo Changbin. He was kind enough to show you around on your first day of school. You thought that would have been it, an obligatory request his mom had asked him to do. 

But he stuck around and you had no complaints. He was sweet and made you laugh. And you weren't going to deny that you found him extremely cute. 

Eventually the boy next door became one of your closest friends. It felt like you had known him your whole life, a strong bond quickly forming between the two of you. 

It was hard to not form a crush on the older boy. He was the perfect gentleman, or at least the best one a thirteen year old boy could be. 

With how close the two of you were, people assumed you were soulmates. Unfortunately you weren't. After a few months of being his friend, you had learned that Changbin saw the world without color. A visual bond that would be broken once he met his soulmate for the first time, someone who was not you. 

Your heart tugged at the thought of him being meant for someone else. It was hard to explain, but it felt like the two of you were supposed to be bonded. 

So you didn’t act on your crush. You knew once he found his soulmate you wouldn’t be the biggest priority in his life anymore. 

— ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

You were his biggest supporter when he mentioned wanting to pursue music. You saw how passionate he was about wanting to compose his own songs. And when he mentioned auditioning for an idol company, you were by his side every step of the way. 

You weren’t much help when it came to music but Changbin insisted that your presence motivated him. So you spent time with him while he composed his audition song. Many late nights were spent together while you tried your best to encourage him.

“These two lines just don’t flow well together,” he huffed out, running a hand through his hair.

Your thoughts are pulled away from your homework by his words, looking up from your spot on his bed. “I think it sounds good, Bin,” trying to assure him. 

“You just have to say that because you’re my friend,” he whines before crumpling a piece of paper and tossing it at you, hitting you on the top of the head.

“A true friend would tell you if it sounded like shit,” you point out. Picking up the paper and tossing it back at him, accidentally hitting him in the face. Letting out a giggle as he flinches from the impact. “And it definitely does not sound like shit.” 

He mumbles out a quick thank you before turning back to the sheets of lyrics on his desk. 

And when the day of the audition comes around, you’re there to hold his hand to calm down his nerves. 

“They’d be fools to not accept you,” you point out.

“Y/nnie you can’t insult them,” he chides but you can see the way the corner of his mouth almost pulls up in a smile. 

“Well it’s a good thing I’m not the one auditioning."

And when he gets his acceptance into the company, he admits that you’re the first person he thinks of to tell the good news. And your heart skips a beat at his words. 

— ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Changbin raves to you about his two new trainee friends, Chan and Han, a lot. And it makes you happy that he’s found people who have the same producing interests as him. 

He talks about the two boys so often that it feels like you personally know them, despite never having spoken to them. You’re not surprised when one day he tells you that they formed a group together, 3Racha, so they could release songs on SoundCloud. 

You’re always their first listener when a new song is posted, becoming their biggest and number one supporter. 

Eventually Changbin starts to get busy with his trainee practices and you start to see him less often. You see him in the halls at school, a friendly smile and wave passed between the two of you, but he no longer has the time to hangout once the final bell rings. 

And when he excitedly tells you that Chan has chosen him to take part in a survival show, he becomes a ghost. His replies come days later, full of apologies and excuses, when they used to come in right away. 

Yet you still support him, because he was about to start living his dream. So you watch the survival show and send as much encouragement as you can to the person who holds a special place in your heart. 

The announcement of their debut doesn’t come as a shock to you. They were all talented and the company would have made a huge mistake to not debut them all together. 

He starts showing up more often after that. And it feels like you have your Changbin back, even just for a little while. Because eventually he starts to get busy again, and when he gets busy he pulls away. 

His absence makes you feel hollow and you realize that you’ve gone from being his best friend to just the girl next door. 

— ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

The two of you lose touch for a few years while he’s in his rookie stages of being an idol. Despite no longer being close, you still support him and the rest of his members silently. You would always be his biggest fan. 

Then, years later, you see him for the first time in person since his debut. He’s pulling into his parents’ driveway as you’re grabbing the mail from the mailbox. 

When your eyes meet, it feels like time stops as he gets out of the car. His young teenage features are gone. And you silently curse him for becoming even more good looking and handsome.

You're frozen in place when he lifts up a hand to wave at you, a polite smile on his face. 

“Y/n! Long time no see,” he exclaims like he didn’t just ghost you for the past few years.

Your eyes widen at his words and before you can think, you're turning around quickly and walking back into your house, shutting the door loudly behind you.

Behind the safety of the front door, you let out a breath that you didn’t realize you were holding in. Oh my god. How could he just act so casual?

A sudden knock on the door causes you to jump in surprise. And before looking out the peep hole, you have an inkling on who could be on the other side of the door. 

And you're right because on the other side of the door is Changbin who is rocking back and forth on his feet. When you don’t open the door he knocks again. 

You can’t pretend no one is home when he just saw you walk inside just a couple of minutes ago. So you reluctantly open the door.

“Hi,” he smiles nervously at you. 

“Did you need something Changbin?” It’s the first time you’ve said his name out loud in a while. It feels foreign on your tongue. 

“I’m home for the weekend and wanted to know if you wanted to hang out?”

“I’m busy,” your reply quickly, throwing back the words he had told you multiple times. You're not sure if you should feel proud or sad at the way your words make him flinch slightly. 

You go to close the door but he’s reaching out to stop it. You push a little harder but he’s stronger than you, the door doesn’t budge.

“Please Y/n,” he whispers. There's a slight pout on his face and he's looking at you with the big pleading eyes you always had trouble saying no to. 

“Changbin. You can’t just ignore me for years and then come back like nothing happened,” you hiss out. And you’re glad that your parents aren’t home for once because you knew they would instantly invite him inside. 

“I’m sorry. I fucked up I know. Please just give me one more chance,” he pleads. 

You want to say no, to tell him to leave you alone. But the next thing you know, you’re walking side by side to the ice cream shop the two of you used to frequent often. 

He doesn’t have a good explanation as to why he stopped talking to you but he sounds sincere in his apology. Your mind is telling you to not forgive him quite yet but something in your heart just wants your best friend back. To have him back in your life to fill the hole he had left all those years ago. 

So you give in. And he promises this time he’s not going to let you go. 

— ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

You’re in your mid twenties now and Changbin keeps his word from that weekend in your early twenties. The two of you easily fall back into the friendship that you used to have. 

He’s busy being a world famous idol but he finds time for you still. Your messages don’t go left unread and when he has the time to come home he makes sure he sees you. 

The small crush on him during your childhood only grows bigger as the two of you grow older. But you know you’re not his soulmate and you know he hasn’t found them yet, stating he still saw the world in black and white.

So you don’t say a word about your feelings to him or to anyone else. Keeping it locked away in your heart. 

Changbin at least has a bond that he’s aware of though, so he knows his soulmate will appear one day. After years of hoping for a bond to appear for yourself, you start to lose hope. Coming to the conclusion that you most likely do not have a soulmate. 

— ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Waking up, your bleary eyes take in your surroundings and you quickly notice that you’re no longer in your bedroom. You’re in an unfamiliar room and a bed that is definitely not yours. A hotel room, you realize. And then panic starts to set it. 

You’re about to get up when you feel a weight resting around your waist. Looking down you notice a head full of fluffy dark brown hair nuzzled into your side and an arm wrapped around your waist. 

Where the hell are you? And who the fuck is this person wrapped around you? 

Getting up quietly, trying your best to not disturb the mystery man as you untangle his limbs from yours, you find your way to the bathroom. 

And when you look into the mirror you almost let out a scream. Because looking back at you is not yourself, but your best friend and neighbor Seo Changbin. 

This must be a dream, you think to yourself. There’s no way this is happening. 

Looking down at yourself, your hands frantically move to pat around your body, or Changbin’s body, to make sure you’re not dreaming. You reach up and pinch yourself on the arm, hissing in pain. Definitely not a dream. 

You look into the mirror again as Changbin’s features stare back at you. His, yours?, cheeks are flushed pink from sleep.  

Eyes widening in realization. Holy shit. Your soulmate bond.

Of course you had to have the most rare and inconvenient bond, body swapping. You must have done something in a past life to upset the universe if it took this long for it to come into play. 

Then it hits you. This is real. And Seo Changbin is your soulmate and has been this whole time. 

In your panicked state, you don’t piece together that you’re in Changbin’s body and he’s definitely not supposed to be seeing in color. 

Lee Minho doesn’t love you. He must like you, because the two of you have been spending a lot of time together, have been a couple for more than eight months—but he doesn’t love you.

It’s the middle of the night. You’re in his apartment, his clothes and his scent lingering around you after an intense night of him rearranging your guts. Minho is intense in every sense of the word, and he shows he cares like no one else, but that doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t love you.

You’re sitting in his bathroom, the one connected to his bedroom. After all, it would be mortifying if Han Jisung walked into the shared bathroom and found you on the floor with your back against the bathtub at the crack of dawn, bawling your eyes out because Minho doesn’t love you.

It’s an irrational thought—one that kept you up all night, even after your boyfriend fell asleep with his arms around you, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear like people do. However, none of those words were I love you or anything of the sort. And despite how Lee Know shows he cares—a lot—your overwhelmed little brain enjoys making fun of you and filling your thoughts with doubt, because you know you’re annoying and too much sometimes.

You’re mid-sob when the bathroom door opens, and a very dissatisfied Minho walks in, his checkered pajama shorts hanging low on his hips, worn inside out. His eyes are barely open, his hair tussled and sticking out in every direction—the result of your hands going to town mere hours ago, abusing those strands like he abused your insides with his intensity. He looks so effortlessly handsome, even half-asleep. It’s unfair.

He’s clearly still out of it, because he walks up to the toilet, braces one hand against the wall for balance, and starts peeing without a care in the world. Then he glances back at you and squints, the harsh bathroom light probably still bothering his sensitive eyes.

“Here you are. I’ve been waiting in bed for you for the past fifteen minutes,” he says, not caring about the absolutely horrendous situation you’re in right now.

Your face flushes red as you observe him—how comfortable he looks doing what he has to do in front of you like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Which is insane, because it feels way too intimate… a thought that sounds absolutely idiotic in your head after the intense lovemaking that happened just a couple of hours ago.

“Minho, what are you doing? Aren’t you a bit too comfortable right now?” you ask sheepishly.

He glances at you again, does a little shimmy-shake, and tucks himself back into his shorts.

“What do you mean? This is natural. People in love are supposed to be this comfortable around each other,” he explains casually as he walks to the sink to wash his hands with the sakura-scented soap you bought at that fancy shop—the one he liked so much he made you buy every product they sold. Now you have shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and even a candle, all with the same scent.

“People in what now?”

“People in love, jagiya. Like us. Why am I explaining this in the middle of the night while you’re sitting on the bathroom floor?” he asks as he dries his hands on a towel and squats down in front of you.

That’s when he notices the tear streaks on your cheeks. His expression softens instantly, and he wipes them away gently with his thumbs.

“You love me?” you ask, eyes big and hopeful.

Minho looks downright offended.

“Yah, what kind of question is that?” His hands slide into your hair, pulling you into his bare chest as he strokes your head carefully. “Of course I love you, pabo. You think I’d let you meet my kids, cook for you, and share my pudding with you if I didn’t love you?”

“You never said it,” you whisper, suddenly feeling a little dumb for overreacting. But hey—brains are evil like that.

“Jagiya, I don’t say most of the shit that’s in my head. That doesn’t mean I don’t think it or feel it,” he says seriously, looking straight into your eyes to prove he means it. “I just don’t think love needs to be said. I think it’s supposed to be shown.”

“And you show it by peeing in front of it?” you tease lightly.

Minho laughs—out loud, full and warm, the kind of laugh filled with pure joy despite the late hour.

“Of course,” he says, kissing your forehead softly. “I love you. And next time you start questioning my feelings for you—which is rude, by the way—just wake me up. Don’t cry on the bathroom floor while I’m tossing and turning in bed looking for you. Deal?” He offers you his pinky.

You hook yours around his.

“Deal.”

“Good. Now—back to bed.” He picks you up effortlessly, carrying you as you cling to him like a koala.

“Silly woman, thinking I don’t love her,” he mutters under his breath. “What am I to you, a houseplant without feelings?”

There’s no remorse in his tone—only affection.