Be the light, oh, Halazia

Even Minseok had sent you a message around 5 am when you assume he was heading to the gym, wishing you a wonderful day and many happy blessings.

There are even a couple of comments on your private Instagram from members of your old dance studio back home, and you can't help but lurk on your official account to see if there's been anything happening on there. To your surprise, most of the new comments on your latest post are positive, sending you well-wishes and hopes for good food and rest.

It's a welcomed change, then again old posts don't get as much hate as the new ones do, but you're making an active choice to not linger on the negative today. If you did, you'd never get out of bed.

It's the final day of practice before preparations for Thailand starts, and as exhausted as you are, you're also excited.

The concept for the music video had sounded insane when it was presented to the group, and you can't wait to see the end results of all the hard work you and the boys have been putting in.

You pull your favorite hoodie, the one Chris got you, over your tank top, leaving the pajama pants on, and head out to the kitchen to grab yourself something to eat. It's going to be strange, being able to eat whatever you want, even if you promised the doctor to take it easy the first couple of weeks. He'd explained the very real consequences of it to you, and you can't say you're itching to take an ambulance ride and be stuck at the hospital with everyone observing everything you put in your mouth for the next month. You've already had that from Yi but at least you were allowed almost free-range, so you prefer to just take it a bit easy on the food and not overdo it in any direction.

You can't help being annoyed at someone else being up besides you, making breakfast by the sounds coming from the kitchen. For so long you've had your morning ritual, a completely solo one at that, to help get you through the day, that the interruption of if makes you want to snap at someone.

Fortunately for the person by the stove, it's Wooyoung which means you'd rather bite off your tongue than say something snarky or raise your voice. Because while none of them would ever hit a girl, Wooyoung is for sure the person most likely to punch you if you pushed him far enough.

You don't realize you've been standing in the doorway, just staring at him as your mind supplies you with scenarios that could result in a physical fight, until the man turns around to stare back.

"… Morning." He eventually says, looking as surprised to see you as you are him.

"Good morning." You say, voice soft and still heavy with sleep, as you remain in the doorway, not sure if you're allowed to enter without permission.

His comment about yesterday's meeting is still on your mind, and you don't think you can handle a repeat on your birthday, so you're stuck to the floor watching him.

"Are um, are you hungry?" Wooyoung asks awkwardly before turning back to the stove, most likely so he doesn't have to look at you.

"I’m fine." You lie, stomach inconveniently complaining loud enough to draw a snort from the man.

"Right, sure. I'm not going to bite you if you say yes."

You're really not so sure about that, but you know better than to disagree with him.

"Come on." Wooyoung continues like the silence isn't the least bit tense or awkward. "I'm not above guilting you into eating."

Again, you say nothing but there's something about today's Wooyoung that's different from how he normally acts. He feels softer somehow, like his voice has dropped some of the usual hostility, and it’s leaving you feeling uneasy.

Maybe that's why you find yourself sitting down at the table without trying to make an excuse to leave, watching the simple but beautiful spread in front of you.

Later, when you think back on it, you'll realize that everything on the table had been on the meal plan from your doctor, but for now you're just wondering what kind of dream you've stumbled into where Wooyoung appears to have cooked for you.

"It's hot." The confusing man says, placing a bowl of soup in front of you, his eyes looking everywhere but you. "You know, just in case."

If you'd been paying attention to him, you'd clock the blush creeping up his cheeks, but you're stuck staring at the soup.

It's miyeok-guk. Seaweed soup. The traditional one made on someone's birthday to celebrate and honor their mother who gave birth to them.

Minseok had always treated you to it on your birthday, and the Lee's and Chris had made it a point to continue the tradition after your parents died, but no one in the group had ever celebrated your birthday with more than an acknowledgement and a happy birthday if someone reminded them.

So, for Wooyoung to be standing in the kitchen, in the early morning when no one else is awake, making you a traditional birthday soup, is cause for great concern.

Would he really go as far as to poison you on your birthday? No, even though he hates you, he wouldn't risk it that close to a comeback. Part of you also wants to believe he wouldn't be so cruel as to kill you on the day you were born, but the comeback feels like a more realistic reason.

"Thank you." You say, your hand shaking a little when you grab the spoon, and you do your best not to cry when the familiar taste of home hits your tongue.

"I um," Wooyoung mumbles, looking like he wants to be anywhere but here. "I'm going to take a shower but um, you just- you eat as much as you want."

You don't have the words to try and make sense of this bizarro universe you’ve found yourself in, so you just nod, blowing on the soup as the delicious steam floods your senses.

"Oh and, um, there's a gift," Wooyoung stops his shuffling out of the kitchen to mumble, pointing at a small neatly wrapped box you'd missed before. "Happy birthday."

And with that he leaves, sneaking off into the dorm like some kind of Korean birthday Santa Claus.

You know they've all been acting insane lately, but every day the boys surprise you by being even weirder than the day before. If only you were brave enough to say anything about it.

You eye the little box while you eat, making sure to mix the soup with a bit of rice, and force yourself to eat some of the side dishes too even though it feels wrong to eat so much this early.

Only once you're done, you reach for the little box, handling it carefully as if Wooyoung would have been dumb enough to bring explosives into the dorm.

You gently turn it over to see if you can deduce what's inside it, but the embossed black wrapping paper gives you no clues, so you're left having to open it to find out.

Your hands are still shaking as you peel the sides open, the paper too pretty to tear off, and you're weirdly grateful you're alone for this. You couldn't have handled Wooyoung's attention on top of the weird mix of feelings swimming in your chest.

The box underneath the paper has a logo on it that you don't recognize, and you find yourself holding your breath as you open the lid a smidge to peek inside.

It's a bottle of nail polish. Practically the same shade that you chose for Yangchan's bow when she was designed, which coincidentally happens to be your favorite color.

Had Wooyoung gotten this for you? Or was it one of the others? You can't believe any of them would care enough to do this, or pay enough attention to you or your Aniteez to know the perfect shade of green. Because it's too similar to be a coincidence.

You want to put it on, you're practically itching to do it but if Yi sees you with it, you're going to be in trouble for sure.

You know what the director and Hongjoong said, but you don't want to push your luck by flaunting something you've been specifically told not to do. You haven't done your own nails since the first time you were punished for it. Girls needed to be presentable at all times, and the risk of badly applied nail polish was not one Yi was going to take.

You're careful when putting the bottle back into its box, terrified of dropping it and breaking the first birthday present the boys have ever gotten you. You even fold the wrapping paper neatly, the need to save it scratching at your insides even if you have no real use for it, and you bring both the box and paper safely to your room before you come back to clear the table.

You haven't been able to eat anywhere close to all the food, and you're not sure when anyone else is going to be up, so you box up what's left and put it in the fridge.

Once everything is put away, you get yourself ready for the day. You're still feeling grimy from not showering after the hospital and then sleeping all day yesterday, so even though you're about to sweat your ass off today, you desperately need a shower.

You grab a change of clothes from your room and move to the bathroom you share with Jongho, Yeosang, Mingi and Yunho.

It had been a chore to get used to sharing with that many guys, but at least you didn't get paired with the members who take hour long showers like San and Seonghwa. So, in a way you consider yourself lucky. It's also part of why you prefer to start your mornings early; you never have to fight for time in the bathroom if you're already done before anyone else wakes up.

You lock the door behind you and get undressed, avoiding the reflection in the mirror. The heavy feeling in your stomach from the admittedly small portions is reminder enough of how bad your state has gotten.

You clip your hair up and out of the way after deciding not to wash it before practice. Your ends are already split enough as it is without you drying it out unnecessarily, and the hair mask you'd gotten in a goodie bag earlier in the year is almost used up, so you can't justify using it to help. You also have your hair appointment later so you don’t see the point.

You step into the shower, angling the shower head away from you to avoid being doused is cold water, and go to turn it on when you see what's sitting on the shower bench.

It's your brand of hair mask, a big freaking tub, with a green velvet bow taped to the lid.

There's no note, but despite your disbelief, it's clear that it's a present for you. None of the guys use this particular brand of hair care, and even if they did, like with the nail polish, it's too much of a coincidence.

You pick up the tub and place it gently on the shelf where you keep your stuff, not wanting the bow to be ruined in the shower. You run your fingers over the velvet for a moment, the softness working to ground you a bit before you pull away and start the shower.

You make it a quick one, not really feeling like lingering in the heat will do you much good. You dry off and get dressed, hanging your towel up to dry before you grab your stuff and the hair mask, to go back to your room.

You don't really know why you're taking it with you. It belongs in the bathroom anyways and you have no use for it anywhere else but something in you is telling you to bring it. Maybe it's because you're afraid it's not actually for you, or if it is, that the guys would use all of it and leave nothing for you, either maliciously or accidentally.

Either way you feel like a dragon sneaking off to her cave with a new addition to her hoard, flinching when the door to your right opens as if the person opening it is going to steal your treasure.

"Oh! You found it!" Yeosang grins, his wide, too innocent eyes finding yours. "Mingi said we needed to make it more obvious but we were sure you'd find it!"

"This is from you?" You ask, Yeosang's enthusiasm putting your inner dragon at ease when he doesn't appear to want to take it back.

"And Jongho." He says with a nod. "Well, all of us really, but me and Jongho came up with the idea."

"The bow is really pretty." You can't help but smile, rubbing the velvet between your fingers, the sensation soothing for some reason.

"Right?" Yeosang practically beams, clapping his hands. "I wanted to glue it on, but Jongho took my glue gun."

"Why do you have a glue gun?"

You might not know the older man very well, but you do know that he should not be left alone with hot or sharp things.

"You never know when you might need one." He explains like he expects no follow up questions, and to be honest he looks so happy with himself that you're not going to burst his bubble.

"Well, thank you for the mask." You say, your face heating when Yeosang just keeps smiling at you. "It made me really happy to find it."

"I'm glad." Yeosang says, reaching out to pat your arm in a move that should feel awkward but instead fills you with warmth. "Happy birthday, Chan-ah."

"…Thank you." You mumble, unable to say or do anything else but bowing your head to him in a way that you hope says more than your words ever could.

The hand on your arm squeezes gently before rubbing it, like he's trying to comfort you even though you yourself don't know what kind of comfort you need.

"Why don't you go get ready and I'll let you know when the car's here?"

"Oh. I was thinking of heading in early."

"To do what?" Yeosang asks, head tilting sweetly in confusion. "Hongjoong-hyung said you're not supposed to exercise by yourself until you're better."

Of course he'd talked to them already.

You don’t even really have a plan. Maybe you'd sneak some yoga in, maybe not, but you haven't gone to practice with all of them together in well over a year, and it's bound to be awkward.

"Just… Get ready. You know?"

Yeosang hums, those innocent eyes of his still watching you and making you feel guilty even though you haven't technically lied to him.

"Still," He says, his lips pulling up into a little smile that makes him look so soft. "I'd like it if you rode with us today. Doesn't feel right leaving you on your own on your birthday."

That's never stopped any of you before.

The bitter thought seeps into your skull and refuses to leave.

You know you have every right to be bitter about the group, but it still hurts to see sweet Yeosang standing in front of you, and your brain despising him for it.

You should be grateful they're seemingly making an effort this year, and you are. But it also burns your insides how it took an emergency meeting with the director, and an actual hospital visit to get them there.

You don't want to be angry at them, but you are. Them softening around you has made your walls weak, allowed them to see you, but this also means that the emotions you've kept hidden to protect yourself and your position have taken it as permission to finally show themselves.

You don't want to be a vindictive bitch. You want to accept the acts of kindness and move past it.

But you've been suffering on your own for so long, and now you're just expected to act like it never happened?

"I'll see what I feel like doing." You say, not coldly but with less warmth than Yeosang deserves, giving him a final bow of your head before you move past him towards your own room.

As soon as you close the door behind you, you want to apologize. He and Jongho had been the only decent ones this whole time, it doesn't make sense to punish them more than anyone else.

The envelope sitting on top of your bed halts your thoughts of going back out there.

With the way it looks to be on its way to be slipping off the bed, it seems to have been tossed there, from the doorway if you had to guess, before whoever did it booked it out of there.

The acid in your soul dissolves a bit as you dump your sleep clothes in the little hamper in your room, and put the hair mask on the bed before you reach for the envelope.

It has your name written on the front, and even if it's uncharacteristically neat, you'd recognize Mingi's chicken scratch anywhere.

There's no way the rapper has left you something for your birthday. It's probably a note telling you how much he hates you and how you should have never been born.

Then again, Yeosang had mentioned him being worried about their present not being visible enough, and he has been suspiciously quiet lately, so maybe…

You sit down on the bed, hearing the rest of the dorm come to life outside your door as you take a deep breath and open the envelope.

There's no note, but there is a card. It's a pretty generic Happy Birthday card, a single dot where a signature would be, as if the sender had put pen to paper before changing their mind.

What's inside the card though has the oxygen leaving your lungs: a gift card for the biggest shoe store in Seoul with a frankly ungodly sum of money on it.

Surely, this has to be a joke. There's no way Mingi, the person who hates you more than anyone on this earth, would ever give you enough money to buy any kind of high-end designer shoe available on the market. There has to have been a mistake.

You grab your phone still in its charger, and log onto the site to check the balance, heart beating out of your chest as you wait for the page to load.

It's real.

Song Mingi has spent a fortune just for you to get shoes for your birthday.

You let your phone drop onto your lap, the shock settling in your system and numbing out everything that isn't disbelief.

Something is wrong. A chromer has been used somehow. These aren't your members. This isn't real.

They don't do this! They don't save you seats, they don't cook food for you, they don't help you with your dancing, or take you to the hospital, and they most certainly do not give you gifts worth more than an average person's rent!

You can't do this. You can maybe accept the breakfast, but everything else is going back. Immediately.

You get off the bed, card clutched in your hand until it nearly crumples, and head for the door. You're terrified of turning them down, but you're running on momentum and panic, and you slam the door open only for Jongho to stare back at you, fist raised, like he was about to knock on your door.

"Hey," He says, entirely unphased if a little surprised. "Sangie-hyung said to come get you. The car's here."

It's like your frantic energy has just hit a brick wall, dissipating as soon as it came into contact with the former maknae's steady presence.

"Come on, hurry up." He says, motioning for you to grab your stuff so he can get going. "I want to get the good seat."

And you do.

It's like the singer has hit an off-switch, the way you obediently gather your bag and new workout shoes before being ushered out the door.

You don't even have the time to grab your usual tea, only noticing your hands are empty when Jongho hands you your jacket once you're in the elevator.

"Happy birthday, Chan-ah." He says with a smile before he exits in the garage, leaving you to linger for another second before you follow him out to the car.

With the heightened emotions interrupted, you no longer have the courage to call out the ridiculousness of the gifts in front of all of them, and Mingi happens to be in the passenger seat, next to the driver, far away from where you end up at the back of the van next to Yeosang.

You're not going to yell at him across several seats, and something tells you he knows this because he won't acknowledge you in any way, while you're stuck listening to Yeosang talking to you the whole ride to the practice studio. And he's being so freaking sweet, you don't even have the heart to ignore him like you'd planned to.

Practice itself is, for lack of a better term, weird.

You get random smatterings of happy birthday's, fistbumps, water bottles and way too many breaks in between run throughs of the choreo. But no one says anything about it. No one complains that you're (practically forced into) resting while Yunho and rest of the guys fix the final little transitions to make the whole thing flow seamlessly.

Since you're at a different studio today, Yi is nowhere to be found, and you hate how relaxed you feel because of it. You would have liked to consider yourself mentally strong, that you'd kept fighting against her until the end, but it's becoming painfully clear just how much power you've allowed her to hold over you.

"You okay, makdongie?"

Something cold is pressed to you cheek, making you jump, and when you look up, San is standing beside you with a fresh bottle of water in his hand.

"You good?" He repeats with a little chuckle. "Seemed a little lost in thought."

"I'm fine." You say, eyes instinctively seeking out Wooyoung who's at the other end of the studio, busy discussing a transition with Yunho.

"Don't worry about him." San says, having seen where you're looking, as he hands you the water. "He's promised to be good."

Maybe to you, your mind supplies.

"You expect me to believe that?" You mumble under your breath as you unscrew the top, not intending for him to hear but of course he does.

"He's trying." San says, the mirth leaving his eyes, the air between you taking on a more somber note. "We all are."

"I haven't asked you to." You say, taking a sip of water as your eyes go back to the guys, and you stand back up as you watch them finish up.

"We want to." San presses, the desperation in his voice of course catching the attention of Wooyoung who starts to walk over to you. "We want to show you we're sorry.”

You don't have a response to that, and you're sure as fuck not going to say anything with Wooyoung coming to a stop by his soulmate's side, eyes flitting between you as he tries to figure out the tension between you.

"Everything okay?" He asks, but for the first time ever, he doesn't direct the question at San, but at you.

"We're fine." You nod, your armor back on as you look back at San. "Thanks for the water."

Like with Yeosang, you feel bad for being cold to San. He's a sweet guy, just never towards you but there is something so sincere about him that you, again, want to apologize for acting like a bitch.

You're starting to feel dizzy from this emotional roller coaster, and you'd like to get off.

You get angry and then you feel guilty for it. Then you get angry for feeling guilty, which then leads to feeling guilty for being angry.

You hate it. Especially because you're directing your anger and coldness towards the more passive members of the group. The little backbone that your anger affords you isn't strong enough to take on the heavy hitters. The ones who truly deserve your anger. Instead, you do what they did: attack the quiet ones because it's easier.

You dare to look back in the mirror, and the look on San's face nearly takes you out. He looks about ready to cry, and Wooyoung has pulled him close, whispering something in his ear that no one else is privy to, making San nod before they pull apart again. You suppose being off of Wooyoung's shit-list for more than a couple of hours was a birthday wish that was never meant to come true.

In comparison to Wooyoung, Yunho feels safe, and you're grateful that you’re positioned closer to him for most of the routine.

It's a hard one, and you're glad to see that you're not entirely falling behind anymore once everything gets put together at the end. The guys are more explosive still, but just being out of the heels is helping you a lot. You're also trying to tell yourself that you're not in the best condition, and the fact that you've been told to take it easier during practice is as good an excuse as any.

You do go all out during the filmed final run-through though, needing to show Atiny that you deserve your spot in this group whether some of them like it or not. You pay the price for it once the camera stops rolling, your head pounding, the room spinning, and your whole body hurting. But it's worth it.

Watching the replay, no one is yelling at you or seemingly annoyed by something you did, in fact, they seem more concerned with making sure you don't collapse.

Once practice is done, you head for the showers.

A couple of you have appointments with the hair stylists, while the others have their final fittings before Thailand, and before you're about to be separated for the rest of the day, Hongjoong presses a protein bar and an apple into your hands.

The very childish impulse to throw the apple at him arises, but you manage to hold the yourself back. You don't know why you're suddenly so irritated by their attempts to take care of you, but they're slowly but surely getting on your nerves, and you're glad when you realize the group going to the salon consists of you, Wooyoung, Mingi and Seonghwa.

The three men who haven't gone out of their way to annoy you today, and who are the least likely to start.

No one really talks on the drive over, but Seonghwa keeps glancing back to make sure you eat your snack, not unlike a mom on a road trip.

Mingi had gone and gotten his hair bleached and dyed orange and red a couple of days ago, completely unsanctioned apparently, and part of you wonders if they're going to let him keep it, or if they're just going to dye it black. If you had done it, you know, without a doubt, what the answer would be.

Seonghwa has been moving towards the platinum for a little while, having to wear a wig at the last photoshoot to not give it away, and you suppose today will be the final bleaching and toning.

You're not sure what the plan for Wooyoung's red hair is, but it'll probably look amazing as always. He really can pull off any hairstyle. Lucky him.

As for your own hair, you have somewhat of a clue. You'd been asked if you were willing to cut it about shoulder length or if you'd prefer to use a wig, but you'd said fuck it and agreed to the cut. Your dry ends have been screaming at you lately when you brush your hair, so you're actually looking forward to it.

The Seo siblings' salon is as bright and welcoming as ever, with Yejin being the one to greet you when you step through the door.

Wooyoung is swiftly whisked away by Changbin, while Mingi and Seonghwa sit down with their own stylists, and you're taken care of by Yejin.

Wooyoung and Changbin very quickly fill the salon with their talking and laughing, their volume rising until Yejin throws a hair roller at her brother to get him to quiet down.

"Happy birthday, Channie-ah." She says as she turns back to you, hands resting on your shoulders as she smiles at you in the mirror.

"Can't believe you remembered, unnie." You chuckle softly, the weight in your heart easing somewhat at the relaxed look of the stylist.

"Of course I remembered," She laughs, squeezing your shoulders before she reaches for a brush. "You're my favorite client."

"What about me, noona?!" Wooyoung calls from the other end of the salon, making Yejin roll her eyes.

"Maybe you'd stand a chance if you weren't so obsessed with Binnie all the time!" She calls back, eliciting giggles and laughs around the salon, and you yourself can't help but smile.

Yejin has all the confidence you aspire towards. She's beautiful, talented, makes everyone around her feel seen and cared for, and takes no shit from anyone.

"So, how's your day been so far?" She asks, sharp eyes clocking the split ends with a disapproving look that somehow doesn't make your insides hurt.

"It's been a bit weird if I'm being honest." You say, making sure to lower your voice so the guys can’t hear you. "Strangely emotional."

"Mm, birthdays can have that effect sometimes. That sucks."

"Yeah, well, it's fine. I get to finally get my hair done at least."

"Yes, and thank God for that!" Yejin groans dramatically, making you laugh. "I'm so glad I get to cut all this damage off. Just in time for the bleach, yay!" She adds the last part with a great deal of sarcasm.

"We're bleaching? I thought it was just a cut?"

"Last minute change." Seonghwa pipes up from his chair, meeting your eye through the mirror, and in your peripheral, you notice Mingi watching you with an almost somber look on his face. "Hongjoong's idea."

"You're going to love it, Channie-ah." Yejin winks at you as she starts spraying down your hair. "Your captain hooked you up good, and on your birthday too."

You lean back in the chair as you can feel your body relaxing, the fingers running through your hair help settle your racing thoughts as they work.

You suppose getting a couple of hours with someone who helps you forget all the complicated feelings, and makes you look your absolute best, is a pretty good birthday present.

You didn't realize just how much your hair has been bothering you until the length is off, and you can finally breathe again.

As cliché as it sounds, it feels like a new beginning when you look in the mirror and see none of the old damage that's been haunting you for so long.

"The best idols have long hair."

Fuck you, Yi.

A passing thought on the saying that hair keeps memories goes through your mind, and you find yourself smiling at your reflection.

"How are you feeling?" Yejin asks softly, watching you with something like pride in her eyes.

"Like myself." You say, looking up at her through the mirror. "Thank you."

"Oh, but we're not done yet, Channie-ah." The stylist giggles, clapping her hands. "We've still got bleach and then color."

"Color too?" You glance at Wooyoung and Mingi whose colorful hair you'd have thought would be enough color for the whole comeback on its own.

"You're going to look great." Yejin waves off your hesitance. "Have I ever styled you wrong before?"

No. She hasn't. Even with the ridiculous demands from Yi, and what you had previously assumed was the whole company, Yejin has never made you look like anything but the idol you supposedly are, and you trust her with your life as well as your hair.

Then again, you're an idol: the two are basically the same thing.

"I trust you, unnie." You smile, and with that, the bleaching starts.

Mingi knows he's staring but he can't help it.

You're smiling. And laughing. Looking so much more alive than he can remember ever seeing you.

You somehow even manage to look healthier even though you're still too skinny, the new hair doing wonders for you.

You're relaxed with Yejin, calm. Like the guard you've kept up since he returned to the group has finally dropped, and he's allowed to see the real you.

The real you is beautiful. Not just visually, although he's always been aware of the fact that you're esthetically pleasing to the industry. No, this is something deeper than that.

There's a softness to you in this moment, a grace that he never would have guessed was still there after everything they've put you through. One look at his brothers, and it's clear that they're both thinking the same thing from the way they're watching you in silent awe.

No one except Hongjoong knows the details of how deep the rot of your misery has spread. But the way he had spoken to them about your meal plan and the dangers of not sticking to it has given them an idea, which makes it even more incredible that you haven't completely lost your ability to smile.

"We're doing blue?" You ask once you see what color you're working with. "Won't that clash with everyone else?"

"It's a pretty dark blue," Yejin explains as she starts applying the dye. "It won't stand out as much as these guys, but it'll give your hair so much life on camera and on stage."

"Why blue though?" You turn your eyes to Seonghwa who seemed to know the most about the captain's gift earlier.

"Halazia needed a blue bird." The idol says, a gentle smile on his lips as he watches you take in his words. "Hongjoong-ah thought it was fitting."

A little blue bird that lost its voice, rebelling against corrupt leadership, and taking her power back.

Is that how Hongjoong sees you? A delicate bird just starting to get her voice back, standing up to those who use their power to abuse and destroy individuality.

No longer an intruder sent to infiltrate and destroy his family from the inside?

You want to know what changed. Because just two weeks ago he seemed ready to throw you out of the group if you fucked up dance practice one more time, and now he's making you a focal point of a music video, instead of having you blend into the background.

A sandwich is pressed into your hand, and as you're pulling yourself out of your thoughts, you see Changbin winking at you as he heads back to Wooyoung to start on the finishing touches.

You look at Wooyoung who shoots you a little, seemingly out of practice-smile, and nods for you to eat before he turns his focus back to Changbin.

It’s only once you check your phone that you realize you've been in the salon for close to three hours already, and you realize that Wooyoung is right on schedule for when you're supposed to eat again.

Does he actually know your meal plan? And to the point where he's keeping track of when you last ate?

A wave of frustration hits you, and you have to stop yourself from throwing the sandwich across the room. Instead you simple put it to the side before you go back to focusing on Yejin's plans for Christmas and New Years.

Across the room, Wooyoung feels a weight settle in his stomach. You need to eat, the reminder on his phone tells him so but it's becoming clear that your tolerance of him has severely decreased since breakfast.

He hadn't meant to be overbearing or make you feel powerless. He just wants you to eat.

He catches Yejin's eyes in the mirror, and he looks distressed enough for her to get the gist of the issue. He watches her whisper something to you before you nod and split the sandwich down the middle, handing her half.

He wants to say something, you were supposed to eat the whole thing but a glance from Seonghwa stops him, and he watches you start to nibble on the half still in your hands.

It's better than nothing, Seonghwa seems to say and even though it hurts, Wooyoung lets it go. Maybe he'll text Jongho again about making sure they get stuff off the meal plan for dinner.

Chapter 9 Chapter 11

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