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$LAYYYTER
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@phayte-kins

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HUGE fan of trees growing in places they should not reasonably be able to
upside down
sideways
out of a rock
upside down in a freakin LAKE
out of an Indiana courthouse
out of ANOTHER
GODDAMN
TREE
none of that is a reasonable expectation!!!
i like trees
still fucks me up what a bad rap coyotes get in peoples eyes. like ive talked to people who see em as like. gross pests who should be culled. theyre literally just as cool as wolves just a lil smaller and less confident. i love them with all my heart to balance out all the coyote haters out there, coyotes rule theyre doing great
imagine having hatred in your heart for this beast
this post was so fucking funny I literally was just like “I like coyotes I think they’re cool” and so many people fucking hated it. Shut up I’m trying. To enjoy animal
Ohh my sweet beasties… if I were not raccoonmilf, I would be coyotemilf. But alas, I do not have the time to devote 🥺
[source]
FREE HIM
HE CAME BACK
Everything about this is so fucking funny. The song. The chubby dances. The way he just gets fucking KIDNAPPED. The presentation of the guy in the white shirt in the picture when he returns. This is my favorite post.
If you look closely, she’s got the heart tail so. Girlboss.
“It’s deflating, it’ll scare the kids!!”
*violently tackles and abducts her*
OMG @cutiegeek DO NOT HIDE THAT IN THE TAGS
From the Pokemon World Festival 2017, in Triple Street in Songdo, near Seoul, Korea’s Incheon airport. The Pikachu group are dancing to You Can’t Stop the Beat from the musical Hairspray.
In another video from a different angle, it’s explained that the man in white was a staff member who went to help, but one of the security guards didn’t know he was a staff member, so the first guard tackled him thinking he was attacking the dancer. The second guard ran up to tell the first that the man in white was a staff member.
this is going around twitter rn but im also super curious: please tell me your top four comfort movies that you’re always down to watch bc my friend thinks mine are ridiculous and now we’ve realised everyone’s version of “comfort” is hilariously different

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@snozzberries96 @awkwardsocialfailure @ambientradiation
THAT-
that is coheed and cambria. That is the man who wrote the song.
Its mr coheed and cambria
@at-least-three-bears Coheed and Cambria is 'divorced Dad rock' now 😭🤣
the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket
Excuse me while I look something up...
1.4 litres????
i feel like we're remiss not to tell The Columbo Fan Website (Tumblr) about the episode of Lupin III that features Detective Columbo's cool skateboarding son--that he apparently has--named Boronco
Funny thing, because of how Japanese romanization works, "Boronko" could be translated (or re-translated, if we assume it's a Japanese pronunciation of a western name) in several different ways. Boronco is one, or it could be Bronco, Boronk, Bolonco, or
Blanc
Benoit Blanc is secretly Columbo's Anime Skateboard Son and I have the evidence right here and they're trying to keep me quiet but in this essay I will
I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter
good art is when something looks like real life, the more real it looks the more better the art. abstracted figures give my trad children nightmares, one time they were exposed to cubism and couldn't go outside for a week
I'm not......worried, but I am anticipating a reaction. because if the double amputation scene in Sir Cameron was too much for some people, then chapter 5 of The Ignoble Invasion of Prince Proculo is definitely going to be a mass filtering event. that's when the cannibal incest spiders get introduced, and they uh.....do some stuff that you can probably guess at based on what I call them.
there's simply no way that could happen.
The Ignoble Invasion of Prince Proculo is about an alien brain slug who gets hit by a truck midway through overtaking the Canadian government. he is isekaid into a fantasy land and tasked with killing the demon king. fairly straight forward, you’d think, except that the castle he wakes up in has something surprising chained up in its pantry: a spider centaur with girthy pedipalps and a glistening carapace. instantly, the slug is smitten! and following that is OPEN DOOR EXTREMELY EXPLICIT anal penetration.
so, it’s basically your average romantasy :)

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I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit
tinder link in bio.
the replies:
*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?
I’m sobbing
I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves
her pussy
OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.
get back here and share that with the class
having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed
i was paying attention, i was listening, but you see the problem is....it didnt work
ocd stands for “oh CMON dude” which is what you say to your brain when you catch it spinning a complex web of the stupidest shit imaginable that it has never the less managed to completely entrap you within
tragedy protagonist categories:
yknow what yeah I think that's just about how anyone would react in this situation. fair enough.
alright this isn't how just Anyone would behave in this situation but I'm humble enough to admit that there have been times in my life when I was doing badly enough that I'd probably also fumble it like this
babygirl what the hell are you even doing
thank you hamlet prince of denmark for being the character ever for the 437th year in a row
I started listening to the cree radio station because its the only one left in my range that doesnt play alberta separatist ads now and those make me see red like some sort of bull, which is not safe while im behind the wheel of a vehicle going 110
Why haven't they told me about the cree all-purpose radio station sooner. They play everything from the 50s to today. Half of their ads and one of their shows is in cree which I do not speak a lick of but thats fine, they play banger music. They give me local news updates that arent dripping with UCP cocksucking. They tell me about things that affect a demographic I otherwise hear very little about by virtue of being a white guy in alberta.
We are holding hands. We are learning about other cultures. We are listening to 60s rock and roll and then an elder will tell us stories about his youth. I am enamored. I am in love.
Lots of people in the notes have asked me to drop the radio station im talking about here. If youre in the Edmonton area the frequency is 89.3, and when we went on a trip recently we got pretty reliable signal all the way to Ponoka. If youre outside of it or international you can get the live broadcast at ravenradio.ca
They also have a retro hour at noon every day and do language lessons for allies
Playing a little bit of everything from the 50's to Today! Alberta's Best Rock
for easy access

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new favorite tweet
op i hope you know about the guy on r/kitchenconfidential
I am exhausted and not-quite-migrainey so decided to instacart groceries.
In this order I requested 5 individual carrots.
I am now the (proud?) owner of 5 BAGS of carrots.
This is too much carrot
I've been got by instacart carrots again.
I chose this:
This image appears to be of the lose carrots that one finds in the bins where you can choose your own carrots, yes? You would not expect this to be a pre-packaged bag of carrots, right? Well that's what I thought at least, so I requested 1 pound.
I received, admittedly for the price listed, a 25 POUND BAG of carrots.
Help it reaches my knee
On the year exactly????
Oh my gods i didn't even notice!
Does this count as a very minor fey curse/blessing because it kinda feels like one
Happy Too Many Carrots Day to tumblr user fractiousrvt
If this happens again next year i might cry XD
Well, Too Many Carrots Day has learned some moderation.
I ordered two carrots. There is no longer a "bulk carrots per lb" option, but I did select the loose carrots.
I ordered 2. I have received 3. This is a tolerable amount of extra carrot.