Transman with a trans plan - he/they

And lil me, panicked by Baby’s First Outing and wholly unprepared to answer this, responds with “it’s like what dad does but with consent”

Knowing you are not alone in these feelings- in this reality- you are going to start looking for group activities. Your local library will host events with different topics and themes. If you have a localally owned game store/yarn store/appliace repair store/ect they have events and learning days. Pick something mildly interesting and go to it.

You don't have to talk. Just sit, listen, observe, take notes. Soon enough, you'll pick up on patterns in the subject matter. Start by asking a clarifying question. "What did you mean by X SUBJECT MATTER?" "What does X mean?" "How does X work?"

There will be someone attending this event who is Very Passionate and will happily answer. Find some small part of the activity you are interested and ask this person about it. "Is that the way its always been done?" "

By showing interest in a subject someone is passionate about, you have gained a Peer. Keep doing this and you will eventually gain a Friend. Gain one, you can gain annother.

Practical, personal example:

There was an event poster hanging in my local library. "Fiber arts craft circle," it shouted, in slightly-askew text. "Knit, weave, crochet. Meets every other Wednesday!"

"I know nothing about fiber art," I thought, as I checked 'beginner chrochet patterns' out from the library.

"I'm going to look stupid," I thought, and passed the set of hooks and bundle yarn to the store clerk.

"I don't know what I'm doing," I wheezed, entering the unfamiliar room, supplies clutched in a tight grip. "Good evening!" The only other person (was I here too early?)- said, "here for the craft circle? Whatcha workin' on?" "Uh, yeah," I answered, skittering to a chair on the far side of the room, "but I don't have anything to- I just started..." She waved a hand over my inexperience and beamed, "That's ok! Charlene'll be in tonight, she's better at explaining things than I am. Have you practiced any chain stitches?" "What are chain stitches? Is that what," I pause, flipping to the start of my book, "the 'ch' means?"

Charlene showed me how to hold my yarn so the chains stopped coming out different sizes. I learned the names of her grandkids, what it was like running a post office for 30 years and her ex-husband's favorite chilli recipie. I hooked a single row of 67 chain stitches.

and then on the day of the show, my friend asks, "where is the camera I requested?"

gallerist: "you didn't request a camera"

my friend: "I did, and you confirmed that you would have one here."

gallerist: "that isn't true."

and then she proceeded to pull up the email thread, and my friend could see that every single email they had sent had been summarized by AI, and that the gallerist had then had AI write a response to them based on the AI summary, and that the AI had detected that they needed a camera, and confirmed on behalf of the gallerist that they would bring a camera, but because the gallerist had offloaded the work of actually reading and responding, she simply hadn't actually made any note of it herself, therefore didn't bring it, nor did she even know one was needed.