Persnickety Scribe

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

The song the Zimbabwean choir sang is called Indodana!

Thank you so much!!! <3 <3 <3

had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'

"oh for fuck's sake" is my default, "Oh for the love of fuck" if something is particularly preposterous.

@willowofthehearth that's the german word "fahrvergnuegen"! It's literally 'the pleasure of driving' but mostly it is just associated in English speaking circles with the ad campaign by Volkswagen from the 1990s. You've got a pretty good English phonetic spelling of it!

I know it feels good as fuck to cast spells from up there

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

Misfire, reload and try again evilwizard

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin

I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business

ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK

Etymology is always doing some shit like this

Convergent evolution.

Linguistic crab

Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc

in absence of any other details i'm gonna go ahead and state definitively and for the record that lindsey graham died because his ditzy fairy ass forgot the rule about not taking poppers on viagra and had what is known to medical science as a "Faggot's Stroke" and if his estate wants to correct that information so i can giggle about the real reason then they're welcome to call my office

i didn't know that about poppers and viagra thats really important information

oh yeah no poppers + viagra can cause fatal fluctuations in blood pressure, stay safe girls

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them