um, hi?

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

New shoes

unhelpful aubergines

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

i mean this in the nicest way possible but some of you need to learn how to be annoyed

Unreliable everyone

you people aren't CASTING

The fact of the matter is that I do not want to do it

"do what?" you might wonder. well. [gestures broadly]

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over