ASS PUNCH

sneezed so hard my cum flew out and i started crying

Gum.

when you get crazy enough about The Character you'd think the situations you imagine them in would get more elaborate and lore intensive. but no. imagining my wizard pacing around huffily being slightly peeved at a mild inconvenience. I don’t even know what the inconvenience IS. and it's giving me enough joy to power a city for a month

One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

that's MS. substance abuser to you

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

just got elected prime minister of the uk

please stop asking questions i'm literally shy/an introvert/the middle daughter

Stardew valley is problematic because it forces you to have an outside cat in a threatened woodland environment

I've been melting dogs down to make this thing called dog metal

Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.