oispa

Last year, a few weeks before Gilana @meangirlnurse's birthday, we were at a museum with a couple friends. Naturally, we stopped by the gift shop before we left. At the gift shop, Gilana found a necklace. She spent some time hemming and hawing before ultimately deciding it was a little too expensive to justify. This, of course, set off my Potential Birthday Gift sensors, and I began to scheme.

I could've just told her I'd get it as an early birthday gift, but no, I wanted to be sneaky. So I agreed with her that it was such a shame that it was a little too pricey, and then as soon as she walked off, I snatched the necklace and hid it in my fist so she wouldn't see I had it.

What I failed to consider is that "quickly grabbing and hiding a necklace so I can purchase it without my girlfriend noticing" looks exactly the same as "quickly grabbing and hiding a necklace so I can steal it." Moments after I grabbed the necklace, as I was strategically meandering toward one of the checkouts (while trying not to look like I was angling for a checkout, because sneaking), one of the cashiers very loudly and pointedly asked, "ARE YOU READY TO CHECK OUT?"

This got Gilana's attention, due to the loud and pointed nature of the question, which meant I had to exercise my meager acting skills to be like "Oh, no, I'm still looking!" and continue to browse under the cashier's judgmental stare.

Once I was sure Gilana was once again distracted, I hurried to that same cashier to whisper that I was buying the present sneakily for someone who was there with me. Apparently that happens a lot! I assume usually less suspiciously. So with that all cleared up, I bought the necklace, and the cashier put it in a little box with the museum's logo on it, which I stashed in my pocket before rejoining the others.

Because I was sooooo proud of my stealth, I showed off the necklace to each of our friends, one at a time, while Gilana had her back turned. It had been a close call, but I pulled it off!

nevermind it

has no background, thus not being fully readable.

says [speaking foreign language] when not English.

is too small.

is one word at a time, thus hurting our eyes like flashing lights.

is in an awful font.

is in a colour that hurts or is hard to see.

the op linked the study in the replies & i’ve been skimming it & it’s actually rlly rlly interesting to think abt

I immediately started thinking about how I could poison the well and address ALL of their concerns. (I am ontologically evil)

Anyway this is a wider issue, please observe: