cats are genuinely fucking useless man
okay sure thatās progress i guess
WEāRE SO BACK
are you enjoying your One Cold Paw
noise dept.

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@pageslikepetals
cats are genuinely fucking useless man
okay sure thatās progress i guess
WEāRE SO BACK
are you enjoying your One Cold Paw

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my YouTube algorithm has been showing me a lot of horse racing recently and since the Kentucky derby is today, the last few days all my recommendations have been filled with every middle-ages dudebros podcast about gambling and betting strategies and How To Pick The Real Winner and how to min-max your bet and bla bla bla. Buddy Iāve already got my favorite horsie picked out and itās because heās Silly.
reasons i like the horsie Great White:
he's about 6 inches taller and 200lbs heavier than any other horse in the field. big ol honse.
his record kind of sucks and when an interviewer asked his trainer "what do you think [the horse] will need to do to win the derby?' the trainer just said "get a lot better."
the horse was deadset on eating the landscaping shrubbery during the interview
thats all i need, absolutely sold, go get em Great White.
this couldn't have ended any more perfectly
guess which one is great white

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unpopular opinion: Vimes is kind of drama queen
Sam āheld a burning hot coal until it nearly took the skin off his hand while maintaining perfect calm and eye contact with the asshole in need of intimidation Just Becauseā Vimes? Sam āsitting on the stoop with a mug of cocoa and a cigar, cautiously aware of every inch of the scene heās buildingā Vimes? Sam ācould just tear his sleeve to show the mark of the Summoning Dark but instead tears off his whole goddamn shirtā Vimes? A drama queen? Reaching a bit donāt you think
Yep, certainly doesnāt seem to describe Sam āpretends to eat poison as a power moveā Vimes. Not Sam āburies an axe in the table in the Rats Chamberā Vimes.
I mean are we really talking about Sam āyes a whole room full of candles with wicks dipped in holy water is the best way to beat this vampireā Vimes, here? Sam āhas fought bad guys on top of a speeding train AND a riverboat during a floodā Vimes, really? Definitely Sam ānearly gets shot in the head by a crossbow bolt that shatters his shaving mirror and then uses the bolt to prop up a shard of said mirror to finish shavingā Vimes weāre discussing here?
excuse me?????
vimes did not resign from his post in protest, observe the rest of the watch resign from their posts in protest, recruit them into a militia, sail to the country they were at war with, and attempt to arrest two different armies for disturbing the peace so you could sit here and call him a drama queen, as though drama was some myffic quality bestowed by an accident of birth and not the inherent right of every creatively petty and histrionic citizen of ankh-morporkĀ
vimes is a drama public employee
Discworld Heritage Post
My latest cartoon for New Scientist
To be clear, this isn't a bit. This is what they actually did. "Its too late" is the new "Climate change isn't real"... And its still a lie!
Every serious climate scientist agrees that there is no such as thing as too late, just as there is no such thing as too early. We should have done a lot more than we have to fight climate change, and the world will suffer for our inaction, but there is no point of no return. We can always work to reduce the amount of suffering that occurs, and eventually turn things around to the point where our planet is healing once again. Do not believe anyone who says it's "too late".
Iām 8 years old and this is fucking hilarious to me omggggg
so many misguided metaphors around violence and desire. if the open maw of a panting beast fills you with the want to be devoured, that does not make you prey. while the rabbit trembles in fear, its deepest desire is to run. evolution demands it. in fact, the desire to be eaten does not make you any small animal at all.
it makes you a fruit.
LOUDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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real nuance perverts when it depends
miles: im going to be a good boy now. im an imperial auditor now. blameless and just spleen arm of the imperium thats me. Lord Vorkosigan The Unproblematic they call me
miles, given approximately 0.1 second's worth of provocation: but surely a little bit of reading my hostess's sensitive financial data can't hurt
this is simply too funny
Youāre completely correct. Out of my way, able-bodied losers. Fuck you.

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its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history
for those who dont really understand:
-the first baseman had no reason to chase BaƩz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you ācannot retreat to home baseā meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-BaƩz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
what a fucking sport yall
@fractaldunes
Javier BaĆ©zās nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard
Well earned
love how the explanations do not help at all
Let me see if I can break this down a little more.
Javier BĆ”ez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (āhomeā), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.
The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.
The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Piratesā turn to bat, and the Cubs canāt score anymore (for now, but thatās not relevant).
The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.
He does not do it.
For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.
This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of⦠jogs backwards away from him.
Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Piratesā first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.
The catcher doesnāt tag him in time.
The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).
Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. Heās never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and heās enjoying himself.
Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. Thatās because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubsā turn to bat is over, and nothing else thatās happened since he hit the ball matters.
Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first basemanās job.
He doesnāt catch it.
Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard wonāt change for a second).
Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.
An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubsā turn to bat.
He doesnāt catch it.
Javy is safe at second. The video doesnāt show it, but he will go on to score as well.
This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.
The Cubs won this game by two points.
HAPPY OPENING DAY OF BASEBALL 2022 YALL. LETS PRAY FOR MORE OF THIS BULLSHIT
I know Iāve reblogged this before, but hereās a version with an explanation for folks unfamiliar with the game* and this amazing comment:
Never change, Pittsburgh
It's actually a bit surprising to me that we haven't seen contemporary meta brainfuck indie games do more than they have with 1990s point and click adventure games' penchant for developer-intended softlocks. That feels like something you could very easily spin as Saying Something.
Honestly, having grown up with this bullshit is probably a big part of the reason I'm fascinated with player-hostile game design. Giving a puzzle three different solutions with fully voiced and animated reactions to each, except two of those solutions render the game unwinnable in ways that won't become apparent until hours later is a level of "fuck you" that most modern games with pretensions of player-hostility can only dream of!
@lunchm34t replied:
what adventure games softlock you like that?
I'm usually loathe to suggest TV Tropes as a resource, but given that only a person who's entirely unacquainted with the genre would be asking that question, a primer is probably warranted. Check out the Unwinnable By Design article and read the preamble for context on the types of softlocks we're discussing, then hit either the "Sierra" or "Infocom" links (yes, those two publishers each have their own dedicated sections!), pop open the "Cruel" tab, and get ready to read some stuff that makes you mad.
There really is only one correct way to play some of these games huh.
A critical piece of context that a lot of modern gamers completely miss is that Douglas Adams' adventure games are works of parody not only in terms of their narratives, but also in the sense that they're rather vicious parodies of adventure games as a genre. Each of their absurdly obtuse puzzles is lampooning some puzzle design trope or set of tropes that was legitimately commonplace at the time they were made, and many of the really nasty bits are crafted specifically to piss off experienced adventure game fans who otherwise wouldn't get caught out by that sort of thing. They're outliers in the genre only in the sense that they're putting forth extra effort to be annoying about it ā most games of the type pull the exact same shit entirely without remark!