Humans are revolting

Mommy said it's praxis when she touches me

official library post

At a party and a guy was telling me about how one of his coworkers was complaining about how he thought his dealer was lacing his heroin with cocaine and then the party guy was like “but his dealer was his brother” and I said “that’s some cocaine and abel shit” and the joke flopped so hard but I stand by it so I had to share it somewhere

We've got like a warehouse full of these

being friends with english majors is so fun you'll send a text like hey are you free for brunch and they'll respond with some shit like "haven't the faintest clue, my schedule is utterly fucked"

english majors so used to talking like 19th century british aristocracy they think this is a joke about busy schedules

Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons

i think that i deal with a lot of [remembers this isn't my diary] Nothing. i've never had a problem

hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!

just pinned a girl to the fourth wall

this girl at uni was dressed sooo gay and then i found out she's just straight with a lesbian mom. dykebaiting is not a victimless crime 😔

date her mom ?

date her mom

date her mom

Return my beacon to Mount Kilkreath

date her mom

robbing artifacts from living cultures, just like the British Museum