(((( ；ﾟДﾟ)))

me whos depressed but plays games for fun:

1 - It is around 40 AD, you are the greco-babylonian Occultist Hermes Trismegistus, you read some early vedic philosophy and write some fun mystic stuff about how oftentimes things are created when opposites combine. You use a lot of imagery related to male and female organs. You have just invented what will eventually be called Hermeticism.

2 - It's 2017, someone on 4chan reads that soy products have plant estrogen in them. People are not plants and it has no effect on people, but suddenly soy products are responsible for the feminization of the western male and therefore the downfall of civilization. This is the birthplace of the transphobic epithet soyboy.

3 - If soy products are feminine, what are some products with say, plant testosterone in them? 4chan fixates on onions. Queue months worth of posts of channers chugging onion juice to own the libs.

4 - You are Jordan Peterson, you're a self help writer down on his luck. You've got an audience of angry young men who feel emasculated by the failures of late capitalism, and you've read a lot of hermetic philosophy. It's time to cache in.

5 - You create what will become the foundation of neofascist metaphysics. You take the hermetic idea of male and female energies literally, positing that all things in their essence are either inherently male or inherently female, with no in-between. This allows said young men to blame bad things on their inherent spiritual feminity, rather than say, capitalism.

I see many Winnie the Poohs at the hospital (aka Winnie aka Pooh aka Pooh Bear), as you may guess.  Many look like this, a bit flat and with small wounds, designed to have a removable shirt:

They come for spas:

New hearts and stuffing:

And plumping up so they have a proper belly again:

Sometimes they look like this:

A bit more loved… or as his person said, in more “desperate condition”.

He also had a spa (not everyone does):

As you may’ve noticed, he needed a new nose and there were several options:

His heart had a pooh on it as well as some magic from a heffalump:

And after a bit of arm and smile surgery, soon he was healthy and ready to fly home:

His person wrote “He looks wonderful!”

The final Pooh I’m going to show you today just flew home yesterday.  He is always called Pooh Bear.  He is 14 years old and showed every year of hugs.  

Here are the photos his person’s mom sent for diagnosis:

As you can see, Pooh Bear was a bit flat and a bit gray.  He came in for a spa:

Got new stuffing and a magical Heffalump heart to preserve a bit of his original stuffing:

And finally was clean and plump and fluffy and ready to fly home: