👁️ @ookulistyka - Tumblr Blog

As of april, 26yo

A horrible beast.

I like eyes.

Interested is Shapes and Textures.

Trying to get that bachelor degree(its hard)

Diagnosed autism, but there is many things wrong with me.

Evil, and mildly embarrassed about it.

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doing-90mph-in-central-london

if he was still alive I know in my heart that Terry Pratchett would have done a bit about Igors and Igorinas doing gender confirmation surgery by now. going into a lab full of bubbling vials and picking out a penis from a tank the way you pick a lobster. that one, please. you gotta be careful though because they'll really try to upsell you into getting two or three installed. people going to the clinic as pairs and just having parts swapped out for a discounted rate. maybe you actually just trade brains, that's even easier. Igorth have already been doing that thurgery for thenturieth.

heallbeecat

#one day an igor forgets the lock the cage and a pack of penises escapes into ankh-morpork#the watch spends the next three weeks rounding them up

how DARE you leave this in the tags (affectionate)

pycnanthemum

Everyone knew it was best not to look too closely at Igor's jars.

Vimes was beginning to wish he had looked more closely at the most recent additions before Igor came lurching up the stairs to inform him:

"They have ethcaped, thir."

"Escaped. What has escaped, Igor."

"Thome of my.. appendageth, thir."

"Appendages."

"Yeth, thir. Of the... intimate variety."

"Of the intimate..." Vimes trailed off as the dawning horror overwhelmed his vocal cords.

He rallied. "Igor. HOW have they escaped? They are not known for their... perambulatory abilities."

"Really, thir? I've alwayth found them to have a mind of their own at timeth."

Vimes was staying calm. Yes. That was it. He was staying very calm. Definitely NOT thinking AT ALL about how Vetinari and... Good lord, The Times, would react to marauding pack of penises. Would it be a pack? Or would they go off on their own?

"I wath exthperimenting with cuthtom grown oneth, you know. For thothe who cannot grow their own."

"Err... what? Of course you were. I mean. Very good."

jewishpangolin

Pictured: An Igor harvesting appendages

carpe-mamilia

#[a loud crash is heard from the lab] #[another igor runs past with a giant butterfly net. stopping briefly at the door to shriek 'THE VULVATHS''] (via @the-wave-finally-broke)

the-tao-of-fandom

It turns out to be a brilliant feat of advertisement, as the people too shy or uncertain to go visit Igor rightaway effectively get a chance to discretely window-shop in public.

elodieunderglass

An unfortunate side effect being that a small girl, denied of her rightful need to be a Horse Girl by the limitations of being a native Ankh-Morpork child[1], would have adopted one of the larger Appendages of the pack and named it Free Willy. Her insistence that she could understand her pet through a bond of mutual sympathy was both touching and troubling, as was her announcement that Free Willy did not want to be attached to a governing body and forced into service, saddled with clothing, or made to perform tricks for audiences. With no Igor having the heart [2] to take it from her, the child was allowed to keep Free Willy, who lived for five healthy years in her family’s pigeon loft and eventually passed away from natural causes after a battle with another fighting cock. The child went on to write a well-acclaimed children’s book, The Willy that Would Be Free, which was, necessarily, a pop-up book.

[1] where an ordinary working class child CAN form a magical bond with a horse, in the form of a pie, labeled as beef.

[2] ha

prettysurethisworks

Look, it got longer.

elodieunderglass

So did Free Willy.

isbergillustration

Loneliness of City Living (affectionate)

zoesupreme

broooo can you imagine

zoesupreme

mid 70s. in the backseat with 2 honeys with huge bushes. you turn the knob on that radio and Al Green comes on. one of them asks you if you want a quaalude.

#bread seats

qaivan

have you noticed that it's "female" and "male" but "prefer not to say?"

have you noticed that it's "trans men are men" and "trans women are women" but "nonbinary people are valid?"

have you noticed that it's "love trans women" and "love trans men" but "respect nonbinary people?"

have you noticed it's "brothers" and "sisters" but not "siblings?"

have you noticed that it's "transfem" and "transmasc" but not transneutral, transandrogynous, or otherwise?

have you noticed that nonbinary characters are sorted into "masc" and "fem" but not allowed to be anything in-between or outside?

have you noticed that it's "lesbian" and "gay" but not cenelian, or enbian, or gai, or strayt, or any other nonbinary-focused attraction label?

have you noticed that it's "yaoi" or "yuri" but any nonbinary equivalents are jokes?

have you noticed that everything is this or that?

have you noticed the binary?

have you noticed?

#unfortunately I noticed

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cryptic-forge

no leaves, but plenty of eyes.

inspired by me spacing out on a long drive & staring at trees. this happened earlier this year, and birches ended up growing leaves before i finished the doll.

all branches & roots are made of metal wire + hot glue, which makes them poseable and also keeps them from snapping.

#woah. I love that. I want one of my own

draconym

I like this dress because it looks like something Ms. Frizzle would wear to the BDSM club

draconym

My friends and I were brainstorming PBS themed scene names. I would be Ms. Sizzle and they would be Bill Tye the Shibari Guy and Master Rogers.

flareonfloof

problematic bedtime gap

#its real and sooo toxic #what do you mean you will sleep for 2-3h more than me #what about breakfast together

avpdhaunt

jobs for people who cant do or handle anything

dopamineforthedepraved

Xenomorph frogs - Sculptures by Li Changchun

2018

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primrosing

i am a soyboy thru and thru. i love tofu, miso, soy milk, edamame, soy curls, tvp, soysauce. the soy bean has given us so much, god bless her

ookulistyka

#and edamame is a great thing to add to asian-style noodles as an extra source of protein and iron

sorry to pull out tags.

is that why soy drinks feel slightly like blood?

transhuman-priestess

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

gender-luster

none of these words are in the bible. or the dictionary, for that matter.

hugintheraven

#While this is a joke#For the etymologists out there#Tumblr did not “goncharov” poob#translation: Tumblr is not making a fictitious thing called poob that we insist is real#Poob is glup shittoing (streaming services)#Translation: Poob is now a generic name for whatever streaming platform is out there when you don't feel like naming something specifically

disregardcanon

I saw a mcdonald ad on tumblr. for a second I thought someone just posted a screenshot, Im so unaccustomed to „regular” ads here.

greenlabcoat

your lab coat is probably some boring color like white. zero swag. youre nothing

ookulistyka

[through tears] w-white is a good base because it goes with everything,, an its classic! and you can see reagents when you spill something accidentally...

lisamarie-vee

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killakelz3

Our eyes connected with the main spine as our soul felt as it burns through things we cannot see.

girlzoid

i dont "struggle" with isolation, i'm actually soooooo super fucking good at it

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